Clinic Jokes

Funniest Clinic Short Jokes

Short clinic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clinic humour may include short hospital jokes also.

1. I accidentally locked my key in my car in front of an abortion clinic... They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.
2. I just found out there's a clinical diagnosis for when you can't sleep and so you spend the whole night eating. It's called insomnomnomnomnia.
3. My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
   
   Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
4. An unemployed engineer opens a clinic... He soon goes out of business, since the field is over saturated due to all the unemployed engineers opening clinics recently.
5. My friend is quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic... He hasn't gotten a raise in years.
6. A Saudi woman in a doctor's clinic. Doctor: Mrs Saud there's a good news for you.
   Woman: Excuse me, it's Miss Saud not Mrs Saud.
   Doctor: Miss Saud there's a bad news for you.
7. Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.
8. The line "Do you come here often?" Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic.
9. The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me and said, Did you get our email? I said No . They said, Maybe you should check your junk.
10. Best way to answer a call: Mario's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic: Your Loss is Our Sauce self.Jokes

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Clinic One Liners

Which clinic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clinic? I can suggest the ones about club and medicine.

1. When cops arrest a clinically insane person... ...are they busting a nut?
2. I finally found out what they call the vacuum at the abortion clinic Woomba
3. I love volunteering at the AIDS clinic. Everybody is so positive.
4. I'm going to start an abortion clinic... ...called "Don't Kid Yourself."
5. I thought of a great name for an abortion clinic... How about 'Birth Ctrl+Z' ?
6. I know 3 people who are clinically insane: Me.
7. Tried going to the obesity clinic before work today. But the queue was enormous.
8. A patient broke out of an amputation clinic! Don't worry, hes unarmed
9. Two thieves walk into an amputee clinic. "Everybody put your hand up!"
10. A sign at the fertility clinic. Please wait to be seeded.
11. What is long, hard to handle and keeps her up all night? Clinical Depression
12. Pro Life Tip PLT : Avoid Abortion Clinics
13. I went to the haemorrhoid clinic yesterday It was really busy, standing room only.
14. Why did the clinic go out of business? Because the doctors had no patience.
15. What do you call a Muslim abortion clinic? Counter-terrorism

Doctor Clinic Jokes

Here is a list of funny doctor clinic jokes and even better doctor clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well. Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.
• Where do food condiments go when they need to see a doctor? The Mayo clinic
• What did the doctor say when all of his clientele started going to the clinic across the street? I'm losing my patience.
• In front of a mental clinic, a patient was pulling a rope. Doctor: why are you pulling that rope?
  Patient: what do you want me to do, push it?!
• I went to the health clinic the other day... My doctor said I weighed 483 pounds but I shouldn't worry about it because we are in the UK
• Doctors & patients role-play in bed with the wife last night didn't end well Things took a turn for the worse when her diagnosis came back "clinically obese".
• A doctor who ran his clinic out of a shopping center was shut down this week... He was sued for mall-practice.
• I went to the abortion clinic the other day and i was pretty hungry So I asked the doctor to "feed us"
• A Soviet citizen entered a medical clinic one day and asked to see an ear-and-eye doctor. Asked about is problem, the man replied, "Well, I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."
• A midget walks into a doctors clinic carrying a sword Doctor: Gerald! What's gotten into you man?
  Midget: Sorry, I feel a little Sikh.

Eye Clinic Jokes

Here is a list of funny eye clinic jokes and even better eye clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Opening a laser eye clinic. Going to name it CircumVision... SEE what I did there?
• Last week, I saw a man fall face first into some stinging nettles... but luckily he was right next to an eye clinic.
  I thought, well that's a sight for sore eyes.
  ​
• A Baby Boomer Eye Surgeon opened a clinic that specializes in treating Millenials. It's called, "We Do Real Eyes."
• People have become so mean, ruthless and straightforward these days I tell you, There is an eye clinic in my colony named "Asif Eye Care"

Mayo Clinic Jokes

Here is a list of funny mayo clinic jokes and even better mayo clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the injured condiment? He had to be rushed to the Mayo Clinic.
• Me, on the phone: I have a complaint. Every time I make a sandwich, it's always too dry. Guy on the other end: Sir, that's not what we do at the Mayo Clinic.
• Where does the thick, creamy dressing go when it gets sick? The Mayo Clinic.
• Where do you go if you don't like mustard? Mayo clinic
• Tequila Addiction They're opening a new center to treat tequila addiction in Rochester, Minnesota. It will be known as the cinco de mayo Clinic.
• They do surprisingly little BLT research at The Mayo Clinic.
• BIG CHANGES COMING AT THE MAYO CLINIC! They're switching to mustard!

Memory Clinic Jokes

Here is a list of funny memory clinic jokes and even better memory clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.

Vet Clinic Jokes

Here is a list of funny vet clinic jokes and even better vet clinic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife got a new job at a vet clinic, and almost killed a dog her first day. But she's getting better at euthanasia.

Giggle-Inducing Clinic Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about clinic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean church jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clinic pranks.