Climbing Stairs Jokes
38 climbing stairs jokes and hilarious climbing stairs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about climbing stairs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Climbing Stairs Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good climbing stairs joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing
On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.
The first brunette only made it to the first stair.
The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.
The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.
The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.
She replied I finally got the first joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tim is out drinking one night...
He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you m**...! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"
The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but
yesterday, this conversation happened.
Boss: Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop.
How do you manage that over these stairs?
Abdul: Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.
Today is Abdul's farewell party.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Throwing Watches
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it c**... before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
A blonde, brunette, and a red-head go to heaven
They meet St. Peter at a staircase with 100 stairs
St. Peter says, "To get to the gates, you need to climb the stairs, but on each stair is a joke or a riddle. If you laugh, you have to start over."
The red-head goes first. She gets to the first step and laughs.
The brunette goes next. She gets to the thirty second step, then laughs.
The blonde goes last. She got to the final step, and laughed.
St. Peter asks, "You were so close. Why did you laugh?"
The blonde replies, "I finally got the joke from the first step."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
Coffee filled to the brim
Boss : Muthu, how do you get it right? For 30 years you have been bringing me coffee filled to the brim every morning without spilling it?
Muthu: Before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Indian joke translated to english
A teenage girl wearing a skirt climbing up a staircase sees boys on the ground floor looking up and laughing. She goes to her mom and complains.
Girl: "Mom, boys saw me climbing up the stairs and were laughing"
Mom: "Oh dear, they must be laughing cuz they could see your p**..."
Girl: "But I wasn't wearing any!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...
The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her n**... flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.
Wanting to see a p**...-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked for a pound of raisins. This time she caught on while grabbing the raisins, looking down on the men getting their carnal delights.
She then asked the grandpa, "I suppose yours is raisin' too?" "No," the old fella said, "but it is twitchin' a bit."
How do you teach a kid to climb stairs?
There is a step by step guide
Want to learn how to climb a flight of stairs?
Just follow these ten simple steps!
I climbed the stairs and saw a man standing on the edge about to jump.
"Don't do it!" I screamed. "Your life is worth more than that!"
Anyway, then he jumped, and I was escorted down from the diving board.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two women left a bar after a night of drinking
On their way home they began following a set of railroad tracks.
After several minutes following the tracks, one woman said "This is the LONGEST flight of stairs i've ever climbed in my life!"
The second said "it's not the stairs that bug me, it's these d**... low railings!"
They say climbing stairs is like losing a child.
It never get's easier.
The 35 floors
A mother and her child drive home after a long day. They park, enter their building and notice the elevator is broken. The mother, exhausted, sighs and starts climbing the stairs to the 35th floor, where they lived.
-"Mommy..."
-"Not now, honey, I'm too tired to talk..."
-"But mommy!"
-"I said not now!"
When they get to the 35th floor, the mother asks: "what'd you want, sweety?"
-"To tell you you forgot the keys in the car"
What do you call when a ladder is replaced with stairs?
Climb-it change.
Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
How does a giant climb a mountain when he's in a contemplative mood?
thousand-yard stairs
How to climb stairs in two simple steps.
Step 1
Step 2: Repeat step 1
I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.
My Italian grandmother just got a stair chair lift, I asked her how she likes it... she said ...
"IT DRIVES ME UP THE f**... WALL"
No climbing stairs
A woman went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor said there seemed to be a slight heart problem and advised her to take some pills for two weeks and then come back.
"Most of all, don't climb any stairs," advised the doctor.
"But we have a two story house," protested the patient.
"Well, I understand that," said the doctor, "but it's important that you don't climb any stairs."
Two weeks later, she came back and the doctor pronounced her hale and healthy.
"Can I climb stairs again?" she asked.
"Of course," answered the doctor.
"Good," said replied, "because I was getting tired of climbing up that drainpipe every night."
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Climbing Stairs One Liners
Which climbing stairs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with climbing stairs? I can suggest the ones about climbing ladder and staircase.
- How do you teach a kid to climb stairs? There is a step by step guide
- Want to learn how to climb a flight of stairs? Just follow these ten simple steps!
- They say climbing stairs is like losing a child. It never get's easier.
- What do you call when a ladder is replaced with stairs? Climb-it change.
- Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up. - How does a giant climb a mountain when he's in a contemplative mood? thousand-yard stairs
- How to climb stairs in two simple steps. Step 1
Step 2: Repeat step 1 - I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.
- Why did the fireman get on the stair master? To climb the burning twin towers.
- A dwarf was set on beating the record for most stairs climbed. But he came up short.
- Why couldn't the cup of tea climb flight of stairs? Because it was too steep.