Climbing Ladder Jokes
74 climbing ladder jokes and hilarious climbing ladder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about climbing ladder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Climbing Ladder Short Jokes
Short climbing ladder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The climbing ladder humour may include short ladder jokes also.
- Everyone is trying to climb the ladder to success And at the top is a guy named Sess, having the time of his life.
- Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming." - Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.
- People always asked me why I made puns. I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company
- How many McDonald's employees does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't climb the ladder.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 lawyers .One climbs the ladder , the 2nd one to push it and the 3rd one to sue the lightbulb company.
- I was climbing the ladder to success Then a guy poked his head out of a window and said "Hi, I'm Cess!"
- A Jew goes up a ladder. As he reaches the top a pound coin falls from his pocket.
He climbed down to retrieve it and the coin hit him on the head. - CS:GO Jokes.. pls dont take this seriously How many CS GO silver ranked players does it take to fix a light bulb??. None! cause they cant climb the ladder lol lel xD...
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Climbing Ladder One Liners
Which climbing ladder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with climbing ladder? I can suggest the ones about ladder up and climbing stairs.
- How to climb a ladder Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3. - Welcome to my 3 step programme on how to climb ladders Step 1
Step 2
Step 3 - Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?
- I climbed a really tall ladder. Afterwards, I was rung out.
- What do you call when a ladder is replaced with stairs? Climb-it change.
- Why did the dog climb the ladder? To get to the woof!
- An agriculturist and a climbing implement had a fight. Who won? The farmer or the ladder?
- When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter! Diarrhea!
- What do you call it when a k**... member pushes a person of color off a ladder? Hate Climb
Climbing Ladder Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about climbing ladder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean step ladder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make climbing ladder pranks.
The ladder to success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess".
A muslim in Heaven
A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.
"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."
Mohammed higher than Jesus!
The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.
"No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"
"Yes, please, my Lord."
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
"Hey Mohammed, two coffee !!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many g**... does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.
78!
A man is sitting at a bus stop waiting for his bus to go to work. There are no cars on the road, just a young boy in the middle of the street jumping on top of a manhole cover shouting, " "
The man notices the boy and asks him, "What are you doing in the middle of the street?"
The boy just keeps jumping up and down on the manhole cover, shouting, " "
The man is confused. "Where are your parents?" he asks the boy.
The boy ignores him. " "
"Are you waiting for the bus?" the man asks.
The boy keeps jumping on the manhole cover. " "
The man then notices the manhole cover and asks, "Are you hiding something down there?"
The boy stops jumping, looks at the man, and says, "Yeah. Do you want to see?"
So the boy pulls a crowbar out of his pants, pries up the manhole cover, and rolls it out of the way. The man looks down, and sees nothing but darkness below.
The boy says, "Go down there and look."
So the man climbs the ladder down into the manhole and disappears into the darkness. As soon as the man is out of sight, the boy rolls the manhole cover back over the hole, stuffs the crowbar back in his pants, and goes back to jumping up and down on the manhole cover, shouting, "79! 79! 79!"
A man was mending his roof.
A man was mending his roof, when suddenly an elderly messy man showed up on his lawn, yelling to him "Sir, would you get down please". The man, not wanting to have to climb down and up the ladder again, yelled back, "What's the matter, sir?" The old man replied, "Just get down here first!" The man thought for a second, and being the polite man he is, climbed down the ladder and asked the old guy. The old guy replied, "Can you please spare me some money?" The man, after thinking for some moment, said, "Come with me." He climbed up the ladder, with the old man following him. When both of them were already up on the roof, the man said to the old man, "No."
The ladder to success
A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success." The man, always eager to get ahead in life, chooses to climb the ladder.
The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success." This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, "come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success." The man can't believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him, but a fat, balding, sweaty man instead.
"Are you God?" the man asks. "No," the sweaty man replies. "I'm Cess."
The ladder to success
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. "Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said. "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."
On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.
On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Screw me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.
"Who are you?" the man asked.
"Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I'm Cess!"
Raisin bread
A general store hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts.
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.
"I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which, of course, happens to be located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.
As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Right away, another guy asks for raisin bread and, then, each guy in turn is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After more than a few trips, the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring down at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.
"Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells testily.
"No," croaks the old man feebly, "But it's starting to twitch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
u**... Shop Assistant
A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong p**.... One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.
The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, was provided with an excellent view, just as he had thought he would get.
When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves. As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread.
After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, "Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?"
Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too?"
"No," stammers the old man, "but it's quivering a little."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Army Captains Are Funny
A new Army Captain is assigned to an outfit in a remote post located in the Afghan desert.
During his first inspection he noticed a camel hitch up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was there. Nervously, the Sergeant replied, sir, as you know, there are two hundred and fifty men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges, that's why we have the camel."
"I can't say I condone this, but I understand their urges. The camel can stay", the Captain conceded.
One month passes and the Captain starts having 'urges' of his own. Crazed with desire, he tells the Sergeant to bring the camel over to his tent. Setting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain climbs and has wild, passionate s**... with the camel.
When he finishes, he turns to the Sergeant and asks, "is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
This is heaven
A Muslim dies and finds himself before the pearly Gates. He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?', he asks. 'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.' And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed? 'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'No, I am Jesus...You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps, as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing. 'No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes, please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: ' Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!'
Raisin Bread
A baker hires a young female assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and a thong. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The girl nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, gets an excellent view just as he planned. Once she comes down he says he should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the girl retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see her climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man: "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammers the old man: "but it's quivering a bit!"
The ladder to success
A broke young woman is walking down the road. She happens to come across a very large ladder in the middle of road. So she asks a man standing nearby what its there for, he replies saying "well, its the ladder to success!". She then proceeds to climb the ladder very eagerly. She then finds her way to the top. There stands a bright red door, so she knocks on the door. And suddenly a very large man comes out with a big grin saying " Hey there, my name's Sess"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Englishman, p**... Irishman and p**... Scottish man were at the playground when a leprechaun appeared....
"Lads" says the Leprechaun, pointing to his right: "this is a wishing slide, when you slide down it, just make a wish, and whatever it is ya wish for, you'll land in it!".
"Ok, i'll give it a go" says p**... Englishman.
He begins to climb the ladder.
"Nice and loud now" reminds the Leprechaun.
"GOLD!" Shouts p**... Englishman man as he begins to slide down, and sure enough, he lands in a pile of gold coins.
"I'm next" says p**... Scottishman running up the ladder....
"MONEY" he shouts, and just like before, he lands in a big pile of cash.
"Now it's my turn" says p**... Irishman, who , in all his excitement, forgot he was supposed to wish for something....
"WEEEEEE!" he says all the way down,
So he lands in it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.
Inside the Alamo, Davy Crockett got up from his cot, walked across the dusty dirt floor to the ladder, and climbed to the roof. There, he found Sam Houston and Jim Bowie staring off in the distance...
...as over the hills rode straight toward them a thousand Mexicans. Davy thought for a moment and then said, "Guys...are we laying concrete today?"
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johnny and Nancy
Johnny had a tree house that was really high up. He decides that it's the perfect place to kiss a girl so he invites his favorite female friend Nancy.
She agrees to go up to the tree house with him.
Once they meet up at the tree house, johnny gets excited; she is wearing a skirt too!
'so umm... Ladies first' he says as he points at the ladder to go up, his heart pumping, excited to maybe even get to see Nancy's p**....
She starts to climb happily and blissfully unaware of Johnny's intentions. Once Johnny grabs the ladder to start climbing himself, he gave the ladder a bit of a jolt and she looked down to see what was happening and noticed Johnny looking up and yelled 'Hey! Did you just want Me to climb first so that you can peek at my underwear?!'
Johnny looks down at the ground and admits to his intentions.
She responds 'HA!! The joke's on you! I'm not wearing any p**...!'
*
Joe wakes up to a noise on the roof...
...so he goes outside and sees that a bear has climbed up on top of his house. Joe runs inside and calls the first pest control number he sees in the phone book. The man on the other end says that he can remove the bear no problem and will be there shortly. 30 minutes later the man pulls up in a truck. Joe watches the man unload a big cage, a ladder, a shovel, a shotgun, and the biggest German Shepard Joe has ever seen. He asks the man what his plan is to get the bear off the roof. The man says that he will climb up the ladder and using the shovel will scare the bear off the roof. When the bear hits the ground the dog will grab it by the nuts and drag him into the cage. Joe says "that sounds like quite the plan but what is the gun for". The man says "if the bear knocks me off the roof then shoot the f!@#ing dog"
A man was trapped in a burning building...
...on the 12th floor. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. He felt so relieved to be saved. Before climbing out the window he yelled to the fireman,
"What should I do? Should I go down with you on the ladder, or should I jump to the ground?"
The fireman said, 'The ladder."
The man died.
If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?
When do women get to climb the corporate ladder?
When it's time to clean the glass ceiling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was walking down the street when he heard a distant voice say, "Climb the ladder to success."
The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully n**... man. "Hi, I'm Sess."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A College Blonde
A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar to climb up a ladder and get his ball from off the roof.
"You silly girl," her mother said, "he just wanted you to climb the ladder so he could look up your skirt and see your u**...."
The next day the same little girl came home from college and told her mother that the same boy gave her a dollar again to climb a ladder and get his ball off the roof. Just before her mother could admonish her for being silly, the little girl said, "No mum, this time I tricked him. I wasn't wearing any u**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cs go joke
How many CS GO silver ranked players does it take to fix a light bulb.
None cause they cant climb the ladder ahahahahahaha
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do women die from s**... five times less than men?
Because they can't climb high enough on the corporate ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?
None. They can't climb the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a convict climbing down a ladder from prison.
As he was coming down he started to curse at me, and then It hit me, I just saw a condescending condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many McDonalds workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, because they can't climb the ladder
Two young boys went to a bread store...
Two young boys went to a bread store. One boy asks the pretty clerk if he could get some raisin bread, she climbs up a ladder to grab the boy a loaf of raisin bread. While she's up on the ladder, the boy notices that the clerk wasn't wearing underwear. The boy whispers and points this out to the other boy. While up on the ladder the clerk asks the other boy if his is raisin too. To which he says, No Ma'am, mine's just quivering.
With faint voice, crucified Jesus calls Petrus...
"Petrus, come closer, I have to tell you something important."
Petrus steps to the cross, looking up to Jesus: "Yes master, what is it?"
"Please come closer.", Jesus whispers.
Petrus takes a ladder and climbs up to Jesus. "Yes master, I'm here, what is it?"
Jesus: "From up here I can see our house."
How many bronze players (LoL) does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they can't climb the ladder.
This might be a repost, I'm not sure.
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
A theater owner has a smudge on his sign
He climbs the ladder to clean it, but he is afraid of heights and soils himself, causing his underwear to stick to him uncomfortably. He now has two problems:
.
.
.
.
Marquee mark and the funky bunch
I'm so sorry
My six year old daughters first non-knock knock joke, told as a knock knock joke
Her: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Why did the chicken climb up the ladder and back down again?
Me: Sweetie, this isn't a how knock knock jokes work.
Her: Dad, this isn't a knock knock joke
Me: Okay.....
Her: To get to the other slide
When it comes to climbing on my roof,
I have two options, and between shimmying up the drainage pipe and using a portable set of inclined steps, I would take the ladder of the two.
What do puzzles and climbing have in common?
You have to use ladderal thinking for both of them.
There are two types of people in the world,...
People who are wooden and get climbed on and people who get words mixed up; I'm the ladder.
You have two options
You can either starve to death in this hole, or climb the vertical staircase to get out.
Personally, I would take the ladder
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to a recent survey,women with big b**... climb up the career ladder faster than
Men with big b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Becky discussing with her friend Karen
Becky: Last week, my uncle was taking pictures of me and asked me to climb up a ladder so he could get a better angle.
Karen: did you do it?.. it was just an excuse to see your p**....
Becky: I know. That's why I took it off before climbing the ladder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...
The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her n**... flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.
Wanting to see a p**...-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked for a pound of raisins. This time she caught on while grabbing the raisins, looking down on the men getting their carnal delights.
She then asked the grandpa, "I suppose yours is raisin' too?" "No," the old fella said, "but it is twitchin' a bit."
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once saw a dwarf of a criminal climb down the prison wall using a ladder
And i thought to myself 'oh thats a little CONdescending
Soviet Factory
One compatriot who works in a factory suddenly decides to get a folding ladder, climbs to the top, and hangs upside down holding himself with his legs.
The factory officer notices, comes over to him, and says "what are you doing?"
He responds "I'm a light bulb".
The factory officer reponds "Uhh, clearly you are too tired, go home and rest!"
The worker climbs down and leaves for home.
A few seconds later, another worker stumbles towards the exit.
The officer says "Where are you going?"
and he responds "I can't work in the dark"
A gorgeous young woman works at the grocery store. Her job is to climb the ladder to get raisin bread down from the top shelf.
Because she is so attractive, a lot of men who come to the grocery store ask her to get down the raisin bread just so they can see up her skirt when she climbs the ladder, but the woman thinks it's just because raisin bread is really popular.
One day, after the woman had given raisin bread to dozens of men, an old man came walking through the bread aisle. "Excuse me, sir," she said. "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," replied the old man, "but it's twitchin' a little!"
The fireman climbs the ladder to a bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette.
\`Ah,\` he says, \`you're the second pregnant girl I've rescued this year.\`
\`But I'm not pregnant!\`
\`You're not rescued yet.\`