Climber Jokes

Following is our collection of ravine puns and cliff one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Climber jokes for adults, dirty waterfall jokes and clean ascent dad gags for kids.

The Best Climber Puns

Since there have been a few math jokes lately...

Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?

A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ


Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?

A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.

What's the difference between a golfer and a climber?

A golfer goes whack......shit. A climber goes shit.......whack.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector, but a rock climber is a scalar.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
(Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)

What do you call a Mormon climber?

A Ladder Day Saint.


A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch.

"Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.

A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:

"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."

"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.

"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.

There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up there?"

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler.

Courtesy of my physics professor.

I heard we are doing math and science jokes! What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a tsetse fly?

Nothing! You can't cross a scalar and a vector!

What do you get when you cross the Aedes egypti mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing.

You can't cross a vector with a scaler.

My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making.

Just so I've got something to fall back on.

What did the mountain climber name his horse?

Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.


Someone told me a story of a mountain climber...

It ended with a cliffhanger.

What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly?

Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector.

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar.

Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.

~

Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

Why was the rock climber nervous?

He was at a cliffhanger!

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

Physics Joke

A mountain climber goes out drinking with his friends.
He starts complaining "My wife called me annoying last night! She compared me to a mosquito." His buddy responded. "You know what they say. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."


Two mountaineers pass a crevasse during a mountain tour

One climber says to the other: "My travel guide fell into this crevasse last year."
The other mountaineer says: "And didn't that really take you away?"
The mountaineer replies: "No, he was already very old anyway, and besides, some pages were missing!"

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

There was a young climber named Ed...

There was a young climber named Ed

No mountain could fill him with dread

Then he met a big fatty

named Pumpkin-Ass Patty

And he said, "I'll do Everest instead".

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a rock climber?

You can't - a rock climber is a scalar!

A mob boss and a mountain climber are sitting in a bar.

The mob boss says "It's lonely at the top."

The mountain climber says "Of course it is; if you stay there too long you die."

What do an asthmatic stoner and a one legged mountain climber have in common?

They both have difficulty getting high.

What does a professional tree climber do before he starts work?

Limbers up.

A climber made it to top of Mt Everest. Most were impressed, not astronomers.

They said climb Olympus Mons and send back radio signals. That signal will make us go WOW.

Why did the rock climber start licking the grass on the peak?

He wanted some Mountain Dew.

A chinese mountain climber suddenly arrives at the base camp.

Supplies everyone!

A renown climber walks into a mountain bar

A lousy climber doesn't because the bar was too high

What did the the mountain climber say to the mountain?

I'm sick of your altitude, mister!

What's the difference between a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, because you cannot cross a vector and a scalar

A chinese mountain climber had a birthday.

You should have seen his face when everyone at the base camp yelled: Supplies!

What did one mountain climber say to the other that would not stop running around?

Do you Everest?

What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

Why did the rock climber fall?

Why did the rock climber fall when shot by a bullet going 50 m/s at an angle of 10 degrees up relative to the ground?


Because you can't cross a scalar and a vector.

What vocal art did the mountain climber from Dagobah practice?

Yoda-ling

What do you call a mix Mexican-Jamaican rock climber?

A caribeaner.

What did the quadriplegic mountain climber who always wears a bee-keepers mask say to his dominatrix Sherpa girlfriend?

I can't feel my face when I'm with you.

But I love it.

There is an abundance of skyscraper jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 39 funniest jokes and climber puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any everest witze you can hear about climber.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes