Clients Jokes

Following is our collection of receptionist puns and glamorous one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Clients jokes for adults, dirty clientele jokes and clean pleasured dad gags for kids.

The Best Clients Puns

Studies show that prostitutes have higher levels of oxytocin than the average person.

Oxytocin is known to increase erotic vocalizations during sex. Scientists believe that this may be an adaptation to help with pleasing their clients.

It's a very powerful whore-moan.

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.

The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''

An American businessman was in Japan...

He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

I opened a sperm bank in London recently...

We had a disastrous first day. Only two clients. One came on the bus; the other one missed the tube.

What is the difference between a prostitute and EA?

Both have expensive loot boxes we have to pay for however it's prostitutes who end up with a bad taste in their mouths not their clients.


A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

Death is coming to take a lawyer away

The lawyer is weeping, "why now? I am only fourty!"

Death replies, "not according to the hours you billed your clients".

Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?

The clients always click

Devastated. A very sad day today. After seven years of training in the medical fields and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money...

A genuinely nice guy and an absolutely brilliant mortician.

I've started a waxing/hair removal business, and I have decided to only take female clients for the time being.

I don't want to go nuts right away.

I got transferred from work three times this year for letting my clients give me oral during checkups.

I'm starting to think that maybe a veterinarian career isn't for me.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

An American and an Australian are chatting in a bar.

An American and an Australian are chatting in a bar.

After both ordering their drinks, the Australian asks the American "So what is it that you do for a living?"

"Oh" the American responds. "I help my clients by representing them in court, and also advise them in other legal matters."

In a thick Australian accent, the other man replies "You're a lawyer."

And the American says "No really, it's the truth."

None of my clients liked me when I was a plumber...

But since becoming a coffin maker, they've been dying to see me

I was fired from my job for having sex with one of our clients.

At least I won't have to dig graves anymore.

A midget fortune teller killed his clients and fled...

He is a small medium at large.

A friend of mine was recently accused of having sex with one of his clients...

As a result, he has been publicly humiliated, and is probably going to be indicted any day. On top of that, a wonderful marriage, not to mention years of schooling and training, wasted for a moment of weakness. It's such a shame, for he was truly a nice guy, and an absolutely gifted mortician.

Why don't abortion clinics have back doors?

If only their clients knew what the back door was for...

Of course Goldman Sachs called their clients "muppets"

Some of them ended up living in garbage cans.

A Therapist is complaining to his friend about not having any clients

His friend replies it may have something to do with putting his profession on the office door in such large font that it had to be broken into two words.

Have you heard about the hooker who charges only $1 an hour?

Her clients all say it is a great bang for your buck!

Which fruit defends their clients in the juridical system?

The advocato

An Indian tracker puts his ear to the ground

And says "buffalo come." Amazed, his clients ask how he knows. He rubs his ear and says "hmm sticky."

What do central European sex traffickers tell their clients?

The Czech's in the mail.

What was the deal the coffee-addict lawyer offered potential clients?

Grounds for divorce

What does the IT sheep tell its clients?

Ewe need more Ram!

What do you call a fortune teller that always predicts happiness for her clients?

A hooker with a gimmick

Two prostitutes were talking about clients...

When one of them points to the Mercedes across the street.

"You see that car, the owner afforded it because of me" she said with a smile on her face

"You know, that's not how it works, we don't give them money, they give it to us" the second said confused.

"Yeah, I know, before he met me, he had the money to buy a Ferrari"

What does a marijuana shop owner call his clients?


Why did the Real Estate Agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable?

Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.

Why did the diet coach send her . .

Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?

She heard you could get thinner there.

What does an amateur Mexican real estate agent say to his clients.?

Hey look, homes

I'll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well.

But I'd still give you a run for your money.

I got fired for having sexual relations with my clients. [NSFW]

Ill never get to work in a nursery again.

What do you call a chauffeur who has sex with his clients?

A screwdriver.

A criminal defense lawyer says "Don't talk" to his clients regarding interactions with law enforcement,

except to his deaf-mute clients, to whom he says "Don't sign anything."

An artist went to confession...

...where he admitted to cheating his clients on his hues.

The priest told him, "Repaint, repaint, and thin no more."

A guy I know recently got fired for sleeping with one of his clients.

It's too bad because he was such a great vet.

What do you call a prostitute who has both male and female clients?


Did you hear about the male escort who keeps killing his clients?

They call him Jack the Stripper

I have had sex with SO many clients on the job

And my family said being a school teacher would suck!

How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?

On a queso by queso basis.

How do whores in England charge their obese clients?

By the Pound.


Q: Why did a landscaper named George look startled when he went back to his project?

A: A Bush was missing from his clients lawn.

There is an abundance of fujifoo jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 46 funniest jokes and clients puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any traffickers witze you can hear about clients.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes