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Cletus Jokes

6 cletus jokes and hilarious cletus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cletus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Charming Humor Cletus Jokes with Loads of Fun

What is a good cletus joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Two r**... are talking about their s**... lives.

"Ma first time was with ma sister and ma cousin!" Billy Joel Cletus exclaims proudly. "What?! Yer first time was a t**...?" Bobby Floyd-Wilson asks. "Nope," says Billy.

Cletus and Ricky make a bet.

Cletus was having an unlucky day fishing at the creek as he spots Ricky walking towards him with a large bag over his shoulder. Cletus asks Ricky "what's in the bag?" Ricky replies that its a bag full of chickens. Cletus, hungry and with no fish to fry, asks Ricky "Say, how about if I guess how many chickens you got in the bag, you let me have one of 'em?" Ricky tells Cletus, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this bag I'll let you have all five of them."

h**... Stripper

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.
He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something s**... to a tractor."

h**... s**...

Cletus, a seven-year-old h**..., comes up to his dad one day and says, "Daddy, what's s**...?'
The dad says, "Why Cletus! You're all of seven years old, and you don't know what s**... is?"
Cletus drops his eyes and says, "No, I shorely don't."
The dad says, "C'mere, young'n." Takes him by the wrist and into their shack, where the mom is passed out on the couch from drinking corn liquor all morning.
The dad lifts up her threadbare calico dress, points, and says, "See that hole twixt yer mammy's legs?"
"Yes."
"Well, watch this." He drops his pants, gets on, and starts boning the mom.
Cletus is watching, wide-eyed, and his sister, five-year-old Lu Ella, comes in, gasps, and says, "Cletus! What're they doin'?"
"Having s**...."
"What's s**...?"
"Why Lu Ella! You're all of five years old, and you don't know what s**... is?"
Lu Ella drops her eyes and says, "No, I shorely don't."
Cletus says, "See that hole twixt Daddy's legs? Watch this!"

h**... tries to get into Heaven

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that, because of severe overcrowding, all prospective heavenly souls had to pass an intelligence test to gain admittance. Are you ready? St. Peter asked?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg shrugged.
Very well. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T.'
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg thought and thought. He furrowed his brows and looked at his boots. Finally, his eyes lit up and he said, Today and Tomorrow.
St. Peter couldn't argue with that, so he moved on to the second question. How many seconds are there in one year?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg looked stumped and broke out in a sweat. He paced back and forth, kicked plumes of golden cloud dust, counted on his fingers and toes. Then it came to him: Twelve! he exclaimed.
St. Peter asked, Twelve? How did you come up with that?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg replied, January 2nd, February 2nd… There are 12 months and each of 'em's got at least two days.
St. Peter nodded. I can accept that! Now, for your final question: What is God's first name?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg smiled. Well, that's easy. It's Howard.
St. Peter stared at him. Howard? Where did you get that?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg explained, "From the prayer...'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...'"

How does the stock market work?

Cletus and Wade watching the sunset on their tractor have a chat.
Cletus: Wade, I keep hearing on the radio, TV, read in the papers about the stock market but I still have no idea it is. Do you know?
Wade: How should I explain this to you... Let's say you buy some eggs for your farm, these eggs hatch and now you have chicks, these chicks grow up to be hens which lay more eggs out of which you get more chicks that grow up to be hens and so on and so forth and your farm is full of them. One day a b**... flood ravages your land and takes all of them downstream.
Then you sit and think to yourself: *ducks... I should have gotten ducks.* That's what the stock market is like.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cletus can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cletus puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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