Clergy Jokes

17 clergy jokes and hilarious clergy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clergy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Look no further for your clergy humor needs! From retirement jokes to witty remarks about the clergy and parish life, this article covers the gamut. Laugh along with some of the funniest stories and jokes about vicars, priests, and other clerics.

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Funniest Clergy Short Jokes

Short clergy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clergy humour may include short priest jokes also.

  1. Clergy A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar.
    The priest asks, "Want to screw some alter boys?"
    And the rabbi responds, "out of what?"
  2. Apparently many senior Catholic clergy like to play really convoluted practical jokes. Yeah; they're all fiddly kidders.
  3. The Nun was recently released and is one of the most terrorifying movies of all time. Turns out, evil Nuns are now the second scariest clergy in the Catholic Church.
  4. What's the difference between Army Men and Clergy Men? Little boys play with Army Men and Clergy Men play with little boys.
  5. Several clergy have co-authored a new book. Its titled, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"
  6. The Pope is flying to Ireland tomorrow for a papal visit. Do you think he will use v**... airways?
    Like the clergy?
  7. [oc?] In many Asian countries, it's hard to distinguish prostitutes from members of the clergy. You can't tell who is h**... Li or not.

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Clergy One Liners

Which clergy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clergy? I can suggest the ones about catholic priest and two priests.

  1. What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun.
  2. What is the favourite dating app for clergy ? Kinder

Clergy joke, What is the favourite dating app for clergy ?

Entertaining Clergy Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about clergy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean church pastor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clergy pranks.

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.

The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."

A clergyman was walking and saw a farmer loading hay and struggling with the work.

"you look tired son,take a rest" he said.
No,my father would hate that" he replied
"Don't be silly, everyone needs a break sometimes. Come take some cold water" the clergyman replies.
Again the farmer declined. This continues for about two minutes, until the clergyman says "your father must be a s**... driver. Tell me where he is so I can give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well", says the farmer," he's under the hay"

How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb?


A clergyman called on one of his lady parishioners hoping for a cup of tea and a chat.

When he rang the doorbell, no-one answered, although he was sure he could hear someone moving around in the house; so eventually he wrote on a visiting card "Revelation 3:20" and went away
>! Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. !<
Later while he was at home, he heard a sound from the letterbox, and on going to look, he found another card on which was written "Genesis 3:10"
>!I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was n**...; and I hid myself!<

Heard this in Dublin yesterday.

A church's bell ringer passed away. So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.
They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job.
The next day he went to ring the bell, tripped, bounced off the bell and fell to the sidewalk below. Two guys were walking past.
One asked, "Do you know this guy?"
The second guy responded, "No, but his face rings a bell."

Clergy joke, Heard this in Dublin yesterday.