Clergy Jokes

Following is our collection of parish puns and promote one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Clergy jokes for adults, dirty convert jokes and clean church dad gags for kids.

The Best Clergy Puns

My best Catholic joke (as told by my priest)

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship. The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.

The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.

The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."


A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar.

The priest asks, "Want to screw some alter boys?"

And the rabbi responds, "out of what?"

What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy?

Slim to nun.

A clergyman was walking and saw a farmer loading hay and struggling with the work.

"you look tired son,take a rest" he said.
No,my father would hate that" he replied
"Don't be silly, everyone needs a break sometimes. Come take some cold water" the clergyman replies.
Again the farmer declined. This continues for about two minutes, until the clergyman says "your father must be a slave driver. Tell me where he is so I can give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well", says the farmer," he's under the hay"

The Pope is flying to Ireland tomorrow for a papal visit.

Do you think he will use virgin airways?
Like the clergy?

How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb?


[oc?] In many Asian countries, it's hard to distinguish prostitutes from members of the clergy.

You can't tell who is hoe Li or not.

What is the favourite dating app for clergy ?


The Nun was recently released and is one of the most terrorifying movies of all time.

Turns out, evil Nuns are now the second scariest clergy in the Catholic Church.

Apparently many senior Catholic clergy like to play really convoluted practical jokes.

Yeah; they're all fiddly kidders.

What's the difference between Army Men and Clergy Men?

Little boys play with Army Men and Clergy Men play with little boys.

Several clergy have co-authored a new book.

Its titled, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"

There is an abundance of clerical jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and clergy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ranks witze you can hear about clergy.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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