Cleopatra Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name...

I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name

Of Cleopatra, I straightaway laid claim.

Ahead of my legions, she conquered my regions,

I saw, I conquered, I came.

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar...

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar was offered a large skull by a street-trader. "Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra, effendi," said the Egyptian, "only one hundred English pounds."

"No, thank you," said the Englishman. "It's far too expensive."

"How 'bout dis one, effendi?" said the street-trader, producing a small skull.

"Whose skull is that?"

"Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra when she was little girl!"

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid.

Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

When was Cleopatra at her most irritable?

When she was on her pyramid.

What did Julius Caesar say towards the end of a passionate night with Cleopatra?

"Veni."

Cleopatra had it all: perfect tits, a tight little waist, legs that didn't quit...

...and an absolutely killer asp

Why was Cleopatra sitting on a boat, sad, going down a river?

Because she was in denial.

I'm so naive I thought Cunnilingus was an Irish Airline and that Euthanasia was a Foreign Exchange program...

I thought that Cleopatra had difficulty accepting bad news and was therefore called the Queen of Denial.

Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

What do you call Cleopatra when she's depressed?

The Queen of Denial.

Why was Cleopatra so moody?

Because she was on her pyramid.

What did Antony say when he saw Cleopatra running away?

Seize her!

Why didn't Cleopatra believe her husband's story?

because she was the Queen of Denial

What happened to queen cleopatra every four weeks?

She got her pyramid.

What are the funniest cleopatra jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Cleopatra? Well, here are the best Cleopatra puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Cleopatra pick up lines to share with friends.

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