Cleaning Services Jokes
16 cleaning services jokes and hilarious cleaning services puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cleaning services that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cleaning Services Short Jokes
Short cleaning services jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cleaning services humour may include short house cleaning jokes also.
- A man went to a laundry service He drop his set of pants for dry cleaning.
As he was leaving, the clerk says "come again"
He turns around and said "Nope, this time its mayonaisse" - Why did Mr. Potato Head's dry cleaning service go out of business? He always used too much starch.
- I confronted my housekeeper after she lied about servicing my house. I just wanted her to come clean.
- The actor who played Pee Wee Herman, Paul Reubens, has decided to start his own dry cleaning service. It's called Drop Your Pants and Jacket Off
- I'm going to open a cleaning service that hires only immigrants I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.
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Cleaning Services One Liners
Which cleaning services one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cleaning services? I can suggest the ones about carpet cleaning and cleaning lady.
- Chinese brothers opened a dry cleaning service in town... Two Wongs *can* make it white.
- What do you call a Hispanic and Asian owned cleaning service? s**... and Chan
Cheerful Fun Cleaning Services Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about cleaning services you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cleaning woman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cleaning services pranks.
Cutting down personal expenses
The business man was worried about his personal finances after a few sloppy years and thought to himself that he'd better start cutting down on private expenses.
Therefore he turned to his wife and said:
"Honey, if you could learn to cook and clean, we wouldn't need our household services."
The wife replied: "Sure. And if you could learn to satisfy me, we wouldn't need the gardener either."
My Service Dog
Just left Walmart where a lady asked me what kind of dog i had. I said a GSD service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she has her face in my dog's face allowing him to lick her......Now with a straight face I said "He is my b**... l**... dog. I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of all you hoarding a**... people, so he licks my a**... clean...... The cashier lost it and walked away from the register.
Bill & Hillary are on a trip back to Arkansas..
They're almost out of gas, so Bill pulls into a service station on the outskirts of town. The attendant runs out of the station to serve them when Hillary realizes it's an old boyfriend from high school.
She and the attendant chat as he gases up their car and cleans the windows. Then they all say good-bye.
As Bill pulls the car onto the road, he turns to Hillary and says: "Now aren't you glad you married me and not him? You could've been the wife of a grease monkey!"
To which Hillary replied: "No Bill. If I would have married him you'd be pumping gas, and he would be the President."
Social services are talking to a recneck woman about her ten kids...
Social service guy: "ok miss, what's the first boy called?"
Recneck woman: "Billy-Joe"
SS guy: "and the second one?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
The SS guy pauses for a second and asks "What's the third child called?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
Ss guy: "hold on... Are ALL your boys caked Billy-Joe?"
RW: "They sure are."
SS: "doesn't that get confusing"
RW: "Naw, it helps. If I want the house clean I say "Billy-Joe clean up!" And they ALL clean up. At tea time I shout "Billy-Joe, food time" and they all come running."
SS guy: "but what if you need one specific boy?"
RW: "That's easy... I shout their surname."
The Smiths invite the Jones' over for dinner...
After dinner, Mrs. Smith is cleaning dishes in the kitchen while Mr. Smith entertains their guests. He begins to tell them about a great restaurant that he recently went to with his wife, but can't remember the name of the establishment.
Mr. Smith: "The food was amazing, great service, but I can't recall the name! Help me out... what's that red flower, it's really fragrant, and people give them out on Valentine's Day?"
The Jones': "You mean a rose?"
Mr. Smith: "Yes that's it! HEY ROSE! WHAT WAS THAT RESTAURANT WE ATE AT LAST WEEK?!"
A small church became infested with rabbits...
A small church became infested with rabbits. Pest control professionals were called as soon as the problem was discovered, but nothing could stop the rabbits from overtaking first the basement, then the grounds, then the kitchen and offices, and finally the meeting hall. Realizing that nothing could be done, the leaders and the congregation tried to go on as usual, but the smell of rabbit droppings was overpowering even after thorough cleanings. Worse, inevitably a rabbit would be accidentally harmed or killed during the service, which would always lead to many children bursting into tears.
Finally, a solution was discovered. Sprinkling holy water throughout the building, they baptized the rabbits in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Now they only see the rabbits on Christmas and Easter.
A gay man goes to church.
So a wealthy gay man living up life in the big city decides it's time for some quiet living. He moves to a small rural community where he hopes to make some friends and enjoy the clean country air. Figuring the best way to meet the neighbors was at the local church, he decides to attend services and get to know his neighbors. The church was a quaint little white building made entirely of wood. He felt out of place in a brand new Armani suit while everyone else was wearing suits that were at least a decade old from the look of them, and most likely handed down. During the service, he was moved by the preachers retelling of the prodigal son returned, and realized that the community he was now living in was more than just rural but poor as well. When the collection plate started to come around, he was amazed that only a few bills and some change were in it by the time it got to him. He silently took out his bill fold which had over a thousand dollars and put it all in the basket. When the basket was returned, up front, the pastor saw the huge bill fold and then cried out, "Will the person who made such a great donation please rise and select three hymns?" The gay man jumped up, pointed at three strapping young men and said, "I'll take him, him, and him."