Cleaner Jokes

Following is our collection of cleanser puns and dyson one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cleaner jokes for adults, dirty windex jokes and clean clean dad gags for kids.

The Best Cleaner Puns

A girl walks into a dry cleaner

She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."

If you think your microwave spying on you is bad...

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

Today I was offered sex by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck...

Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

I was offered sex from a 21 year old girl today

In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.


My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.

Turns out she was a Slovak.

A woman walks into a dry cleaner...

and says "I've got another dress for you"
The man behind the counter, whose a little hard of hearing, reply "come again?"
The woman responds with "No this time its mustard"

I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...

All it does is collect dust.

Thought I'd let you all know I'm in the hospital.

Thee doctors say I'll be fine but I must warn you, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.

Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up

Mum: why's that?

Me: It's something I can see myself doing

Mum: ...


A young woman walks into a dry cleaner

She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner.

"Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.

"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.

"No, mustard," Monica replies

Former president Clinton

Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

A girl walks into a dry cleaner

She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners,

The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it's toothpaste this time

My window cleaner caught me masturbating today. It was awkward.

Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today.

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.ο»Ώ

Here's an old German joke: What is the difference between a Russian tank and a vacuum cleaner?

There's only one dirtbag in the vacuum cleaner.


I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today…

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!

Wife: The vacuum cleaner doesn't suck the way it used to.

Husband: Neither does the dish washer.

I'm writing this from the hospital

Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!

I want a job as a mirror cleaner...

It's something I can see myself doing.

A maid asks for a raise

A maid asks for a raise from the queen.
"Give me three good reasons to give you a raise." the queen demands.
"Well, I cook better than you." Astounded by the answer, the queen asks, "Who told you that?"
The maid replies with, "Your husband told me that.".
The queen is unhappy, but shrugs it off and asks for another reason.
"I'm a better cleaner than you are." The queen is unhappy again and asks who told the maid this. "Your husband told me that." The queen is now unhappy and asks for a final reason to give a raise.
The maid says, "I'm better in bed than you." The queen's jaw drops open and asks "DON'T TELL ME MY HUSBAND TOLD YOU THAT DID HE?".
The maid replies calmly with, "No, the driver did."
The queen curses quietly, "Shhh. Keep it down, its 25% okay?"

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago...

...and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

I told my son that I found his hamster.

He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Sculpter, artist or window cleaner

But which of the three do you want to be the most?

I don't care as long as i get to see naked women

Once a man, knocked on a door and an old lady opened the door. Without a word the man went in took a lot of cow dung from his bag and threw on the carpet. "You see , I have a wonder vaccum cleaner with me here, if this doesn't work I'll eat every piece of that dung" he said.

"Do you want tomato ketchup with it ? " The lady asked. "Cause you see, we still don't have electricity in this house"

A man goes to the dry cleaner's and says, Hey buddy, can I get this dress cleaned?

Dry cleaner guy, taking off his earphones: Come again?

Man: No, mustard.

I was in the chemist...

and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?"

She said, "Ammonia cleaner."

I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"

Today I was offered sex

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.

- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's,

she changes it more often.

I've been going to the gym for five years now and I still don't have abs.

It sucks being the cleaner.

My friend told me I don't understand irony.

Which is ironic, because we were in a dry cleaner at the time.

If I clean my vacuum cleaner...

does that make me a vacuum cleaner?

What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer?

Dyson.

Does anyone want to buy a vacuum cleaner?

Mine is just collecting dust at the moment.

Despite removing all the stains,

I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.

My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner

I think I could really see myself doing that.

Β―\\_(ツ)_/Β―

What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

Being single is like a vacuum cleaner:

its sucks when you're turned on

Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year

The first Apple product that doesn't suck

(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)

recently re-relevant

So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"

No, says Lewisnki. It's yogurt.

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says "i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."
The dry cleaner responds "come again?"
Monica says "nope, this time it's mustard."

So my brother made a dad joke

I put my pants in the washing machine and forgot to take my headphones out of my pocket. After they were done washing my brother realized what I did, he asked me

"Is the sound cleaner now?"

Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner?

Mine's just gathering dust.

What did the father say before he killed his child with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

I bought some vinyl cleaner, just for the record.

I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator

It sucked on so many levels...

I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner.

It was just collecting dust.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?

Placement of the dirt bag.

Bought my wife a matching bag and belt for Valentine's Day.

She should be able to fix the vacuum cleaner and get it running now.

Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday.

Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now.

Free Sex

So this girl came up to me and she said she would have sex with me and all I had to do was advertise some cleaner, but I didn't, because my will is strong, just as strong as Lysol cleaner with bleach. Perfect for killing bacteria in the kitchen, bathroom, and all over the house.

I got rid of my vacuum cleaner the other day.

It's been gathering dust for a while, and generally kind of sucks.

What do you use to clean dolphins and whales?

All porpoise cleaner

Famous last words of the father, when he killed his Son with a vacuum cleaner

Dyson

I bought my girlfriend a vacuum cleaner

but it's just been gathering dust.

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner

All it was doing was gathering dust.

What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?

Dr Whoover

What is the difference between Jedward and a vacuum cleaner?

A vacuum cleaner only sucks when you turn it on.

Blonde Joke!

Blonde walks into a dry cleaner with her sweater and asks the clerk how much it would cost to get the stain out. The clerk didn't hear her turns to her and says come again? The blonde giggles and says no it's just mustard this time

So I started drinking a bottle of windex every morning....

I'm not sure that it helps prevent covid-19 but my underwear has definitely been cleaner, No more streaks!

For sale: Vacuum Cleaner Β£30

Reluctant sale, but it is just collecting dust.

I heard that Dyson, the vacuum cleaner giants, are planning on making a new electric car...

I hope it doesn't suck.

What do you call a janitor in space?

A vacuum cleaner

My house cleaner is getting really annoying and she keeps asking me to move out.

Now she says she wants a divorce.

I recently decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner

All it was doing was collecting dust

I bought the new "Ford" vacuum cleaner, but it doesn't work.

I guess it's the only thing Ford has made that doesn't suck.

What's the difference between a feminist and a vacuum cleaner?

They both suck, but the vacuum has a handle on it.

The French Quarter in New Orleans seems to have gotten cleaner in the last decade

Almost as if it had been washed up or something

I want to be a mirror cleaner when I'm older

It's just a job I can see myself doing

Waiter:"There's basically everything on our menu"

Customer:"I see. Now, would you please bring me a cleaner one?"

Literally just saw a dude in the city center humping a trash can...

When I asked him why he was doing that he said, "It's cleaner than my ex wife."

A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,

All user reviews said that it sucked.

What do my wife and my first vacuum cleaner have in common?

They're both old, loud, and don't suck anymore.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner

after all, it was just gathering dust

What's the difference between a woman and a vacuum cleaner?

Vacuum cleaners don't shout at you for not wearing a condom

So, if you need a new vacuum cleaner...

Would you ask for one that sucks less or more?

What do dolphins use to keep clean?

Multi-porpoise cleaner.

What's the difference between a pig and a dwarf janitor?

One is messy, and the other is a little cleaner.

My vacuum cleaner recently had babies

Oh whoops, I meant my dog

Had to get rid of my vacuum cleaner.

It was just collecting dust.

I had to quit my job as a pool cleaner...

It was too draining.

What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson.

I had a polish cleaner helping around the house, it took them 4 hours to clean the front room carpet.

It turns out she was a slo-vak.

I bought an Electrolux vacuum cleaner

It was the only thing Electrolux ever made that didn't suck.

I went to see the doctor yesterday as I wasn't feeling too good after emptying my bagless vacuum cleaner

He told me I might actually dyson.

The gene pool recently got cleaner,

it was a tide add all along.

My vaccume cleaner sucks because it doesn't suck...

Unlike my other vaccume cleaner, which doesn't suck because it sucks.

(co-writing credit to smarties pants u/lord_of_the_realm)

There is an abundance of dirtier jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 90 funniest jokes and cleaner puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any dishwashing witze you can hear about cleaner.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes