Cleaner Jokes
139 cleaner jokes and hilarious cleaner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cleaner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cleaner Short Jokes
Short cleaner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cleaner humour may include short cleanest jokes also.
- A girl walks into a dry cleaner She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."
- A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time." - If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
- My mate just hired an Eastern european cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
- Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vaccum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
- Thought I'd let you all know I'm in the hospital. Thee doctors say I'll be fine but I must warn you, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.
- Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up Mum: why's that?
Me: It's something I can see myself doing
Mum: ... - I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant "What kills coronavirus"? She replied "Ammonia cleaner"
I said "Sorry, I thought you worked here" - A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"
She responds, "No, it's yogurt" - Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner. "Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.
"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.
"No, mustard," Monica replies
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Cleaner One Liners
Which cleaner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cleaner? I can suggest the ones about cleaning woman and lighter.
- Used Vacuum cleaner for sale. I don't need it anymore. All it does is collect dust.
- I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
- I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... All it does is collect dust.
- I threw my vacuum cleaner out yesterday All it was doing was gathering dust
- I want a job as a mirror cleaner... It's something I can see myself doing.
- What are you when you clean out the vacuum cleaner? A Vacuum Cleaner
- A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, she changes it more often.
- If I clean my vacuum cleaner... does that make me a vacuum cleaner?
- What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer? Dyson.
- Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
- Does anyone want to buy a vacuum cleaner? Mine is just collecting dust at the moment.
- What's an anti-vaxxers favorite vacuum cleaner? Dyson
- Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner? Mine's just gathering dust.
- What did the father say before he killed his child with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson
- I bought some vinyl cleaner, just for the record.
Carpet Cleaner Jokes
Here is a list of funny carpet cleaner jokes and even better carpet cleaner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a polish cleaner helping around the house, it took them 4 hours to clean the front room carpet. It turns out she was a slo-vak.
- I sold my old carpet cleaner today. It was only gathering dust.

Silly Cleaner Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about cleaner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cleaning lady jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cleaner pranks.
Being single is like a vacuum cleaner:
its s**... when you're turned on
What is the difference between Jedward and a vacuum cleaner?
A vacuum cleaner only s**... when you turn it on.
A woman walks into a dry cleaner...
and says "I've got another dress for you"
The man behind the counter, whose a little hard of hearing, reply "come again?"
The woman responds with "No this time its mustard"
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
Placement of the dirt bag.
I bought a used Mercedes last week...
... and I'm really happy with everything about it, except that the windshield wipers always seem to leave streaks on the driver's side while the passenger side is spotless. I tried replacing the blades, but that didn't work. So I called the guy I bought it from to see if he had any advice, and all he said was "I noticed that too. I guess the glass is always cleaner on the other side of the Benz."
Here's an old German joke: What is the difference between a Russian tank and a vacuum cleaner?
There's only one dirtbag in the vacuum cleaner.
I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner.
It was just collecting dust.
recently re-relevant
So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"
No, says Lewisnki. It's yogurt.
I'm writing this from the hospital
Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Today I was offered s**...
I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.
My house cleaner is getting really annoying and she keeps asking me to move out.
Now she says she wants a divorce.
What's the difference between a feminist and a vacuum cleaner?
They both s**..., but the vacuum has a handle on it.
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner
All it was doing was gathering dust.
I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator
It s**... on so many levels...
A maid asks for a raise
A maid asks for a raise from the queen.
"Give me three good reasons to give you a raise." the queen demands.
"Well, I cook better than you." Astounded by the answer, the queen asks, "Who told you that?"
The maid replies with, "Your husband told me that.".
The queen is unhappy, but shrugs it off and asks for another reason.
"I'm a better cleaner than you are." The queen is unhappy again and asks who told the maid this. "Your husband told me that." The queen is now unhappy and asks for a final reason to give a raise.
The maid says, "I'm better in bed than you." The queen's jaw drops open and asks "DON'T TELL ME MY HUSBAND TOLD YOU THAT DID HE?".
The maid replies calmly with, "No, the driver did."
The queen curses quietly, "Shhh. Keep it down, its 25% okay?"
I've been going to the gym for five years now and I still don't have abs.
It s**... being the cleaner.
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says "i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."
The dry cleaner responds "come again?"
Monica says "nope, this time it's mustard."
Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago...
...and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
Famous last words of the father, when he killed his Son with a vacuum cleaner
Dyson
Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year
The first Apple product that doesn't s**...
(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)
My friend told me I don't understand irony.
Which is ironic, because we were in a dry cleaner at the time.
What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?
Dr Whoover
I told my son that I found his hamster.
He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.
I recently decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner
All it was doing was collecting dust
Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday.
Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now.
My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner
I think I could really see myself doing that.
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The French Quarter in New Orleans seems to have gotten cleaner in the last decade
Almost as if it had been washed up or something
I was offered s**... from a 21 year old girl today
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
Literally just saw a dude in the city center h**... a trash can...
When I asked him why he was doing that he said, "It's cleaner than my ex wife."
A girl walks into a dry cleaner
She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
What do you use to clean dolphins and whales?
All porpoise cleaner
Former president Clinton
Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,
"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"
The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"
"No, it was mustard this time."
Free s**...
So this girl came up to me and she said she would have s**... with me and all I had to do was advertise some cleaner, but I didn't, because my will is strong, just as strong as Lysol cleaner with bleach. Perfect for killing bacteria in the kitchen, bathroom, and all over the house.
I heard that Dyson, the vacuum cleaner giants, are planning on making a new electric car...
I hope it doesn't s**....
What do you call a janitor in space?
A vacuum cleaner
My window cleaner caught me m**... today. It was awkward.
Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sculpter, artist or window cleaner
But which of the three do you want to be the most?
I don't care as long as i get to see n**... women
I want to be a mirror cleaner when I'm older
It's just a job I can see myself doing
Blonde Joke!
Blonde walks into a dry cleaner with her sweater and asks the clerk how much it would cost to get the stain out. The clerk didn't hear her turns to her and says come again? The blonde giggles and says no it's just mustard this time
For sale: Vacuum Cleaner £30
Reluctant sale, but it is just collecting dust.
A man goes to the dry cleaner's and says, Hey buddy, can I get this dress cleaned?
Dry cleaner guy, taking off his earphones: Come again?
Man: No, mustard.
A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners,
The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it's toothpaste this time
The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't s**......
Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
I bought the new "Ford" vacuum cleaner, but it doesn't work.
I guess it's the only thing Ford has made that doesn't s**....
I bought my girlfriend a vacuum cleaner
but it's just been gathering dust.
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today.
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.
Waiter:"There's basically everything on our menu"
Customer:"I see. Now, would you please bring me a cleaner one?"
Bought my wife a matching bag and belt for Valentine's Day.
She should be able to fix the vacuum cleaner and get it running now.
Wife: The vacuum cleaner doesn't s**... the way it used to.
Husband: Neither does the dish washer.
So I started drinking a bottle of windex every morning....
I'm not sure that it helps prevent covid-19 but my underwear has definitely been cleaner, No more streaks!
So my brother made a dad joke
I put my pants in the washing machine and forgot to take my headphones out of my pocket. After they were done washing my brother realized what I did, he asked me
"Is the sound cleaner now?"
I was in the chemist...
and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?"
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today…
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner the other day.
It's been gathering dust for a while, and generally kind of s**....
Once a man, knocked on a door and an old lady opened the door. Without a word the man went in took a lot of cow dung from his bag and threw on the carpet. "You see , I have a wonder vaccum cleaner with me here, if this doesn't work I'll eat every piece of that dung" he said.
"Do you want tomato ketchup with it ? " The lady asked. "Cause you see, we still don't have electricity in this house"
I'm in the hospital right now. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
But let me just say, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.
The highlight of my week was my new vacuum cleaner.
Things are picking up.
I'm an Anti-vax and I don't care what you think.
They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!
I feel like my purchase of a vacuum cleaner was a waste of money
Ever since I bought all it's done is collected dust
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a vacuum cleaner?
The Harley holds the dirtbag on the outside.
People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.
It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about....
....it's been collecting dirt on you for years.

