Clean Ears Jokes
13 clean ears jokes and hilarious clean ears puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clean ears that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Clean Ears Short Jokes
Short clean ears jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clean ears humour may include short clean jokes also.
- Gardens (only clean joke I know) Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk. - People used to say that you shouldn't clean your ears with Q-tips But I haven't heard that for a while.
- Somebody tried to tell me that cleaning my ears with Q-tips could cause hearing problems... To which I responded "WHAT?!?!"
Share These Clean Ears Jokes With Friends
Clean Ears One Liners
Which clean ears one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clean ears? I can suggest the ones about clean dad and clear recent.
- George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them... Careless Swissper
- Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears? The cue tip.
Uproarious Clean Ears Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about clean ears you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean clear sinuses jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clean ears pranks.
Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners....
with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing
"I need to dry clean my dress"
The owner cups his hand next to his ear
"come again"
"No it's ketchup this time"
In honor of a bath time song sung by a fellow dad...
Here is mine:
Wash your body!
Oh yeah.
Clean your body!
Uh huh
Wash your body!
It's bath time tonight!
Let's get clean, alright!
Clean your fingers and your toes...
Wash your face, don't forget your nose
If it's Monday night we wash your hair.
But everytime wash behind your ears!
Another day at the White House
After returning from the White House after a forum on s**... in the workplace, Monica Lewinsky takes her dress to the dry cleaner.
The dry cleaner has an ear infection and is having trouble hearing.
Monica says to the dry cleaner, I need my dress cleaned. The dry cleaner does not hear her well and says "come again", and Monica replies, "No, mustard"
Be wary of your bicycle . . .
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell my wife, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
So my wife went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
My wife said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
So my wife replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."
The cleaning operation!
A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in a restaurant. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly s**... his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? - I need to speak to him."She asks, Running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I`m afraid I can't," breathes the manager - clearly a**..., "he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to s**... them gently.
"Tell him," she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
Hairy
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days.
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms.
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days.
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week.