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Claws Jokes

41 claws jokes and hilarious claws puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about claws that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Claws Short Jokes

Short claws jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The claws humour may include short nails jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
  2. What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
  3. If Abraham Lincoln was alive today... He'd be desperately clawing at the lid of his coffin.
  4. What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
  5. If the Founding Fathers were alive today, what would they be doing? clawing at the tops of their coffins and screaming, probably.
  6. Two lobsters were in a tank.
    The one said to the other, "It sure would be easier driving this thing without rubber bands on our claws."
  7. What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.
  8. If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently.
  9. I think if Abraham Lincoln were alive today... He would probably look around, scream, and then desperately claw at the inside of his coffin.
  10. What would Winston Churchhill be doing if he were alive today? Clawing and screaming in his coffin:)

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Claws One Liners

Which claws one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with claws? I can suggest the ones about paws and clips.

  1. What is a cats way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement!
  2. What did the cat use to sharpen its claws? Me. Ow.
  3. What would mlk do if he were alive today? Scream and claw at the top of his coffin.
  4. What did the koalas say to the zookeeper after he cut their claws? "Eucalyptus!"
  5. What do you call a cat that walks through a desert on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws
  6. What do you call a cat you get for Christmas? Santa Claws
  7. what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws
  8. What do christmas and a cat in the desert have in common? Sandy Claws
  9. What do you call a raven that delivers Christmas Presents? Santa Claws
  10. What do you call a dog on the beach? Sandy Claws
    Merry Christmas
  11. Have you ever eaten a claw machine? I've heard they taste a bit gamey.
  12. What is Santa's favorite part of a cat The claws
  13. What do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws
  14. Why did the hermit crab refuse to go in his shell? Because he was claw-strophobic!
  15. Why can't anybody win at a Frozen claw machine? Because it will always let it go

Claws joke, Why can't anybody win at a Frozen claw machine?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about claws can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of claws puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Claws Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about claws you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crabs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make claws prank.

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.

So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.
My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws.
"What are you doing??" I asked incredulously.
""Exercising my freedom. Now I'm here, I have the right to Bear arms!"

What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?

A crabomination

Why was Wolverine (from the X-Men) fired from the law firm?

Because he forgot to read the contract claws.

What's the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause

What do you call a crustacean that's bad at pitching?

A lobster, but what it really boils down to is his claws being tied.

A man is lost in a forrest and encounters a Yeti

Terrified, he screams, "Don't hurt me!"
But the Yeti approaches him closer and closer, bearing its claws.
The man starts praying to God to rescue him.
God comes down and says, "Well, well, well. You never believed in me, why are you praying now?"
Flustered, the man exclaims, "I didn't believe in the Yeti either yet here we are!"

What has three legs, sharp teeth, claws and is seven feet tall ?

I don't know but it's behind you !

Wolverine and Santa moved to San Francisco and adopted a baby boy

They named him Santa Claws

Who brings presents to lobsters?

Santa Claws

What did God tell the sloth upon its creation?

You're pretty slow so here, take these claws.

Claws joke, What did God tell the sloth upon its creation?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these claws jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.