Claws Jokes
41 claws jokes and hilarious claws puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about claws that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Claws Short Jokes
Short claws jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The claws humour may include short crabs jokes also.
- What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
- What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
- If Abraham Lincoln was alive today... He'd be desperately clawing at the lid of his coffin.
- What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
- If the Founding Fathers were alive today, what would they be doing? clawing at the tops of their coffins and screaming, probably.
- Two lobsters were in a tank.
The one said to the other, "It sure would be easier driving this thing without rubber bands on our claws." - What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.
- What would Winston Churchhill be doing if he were alive today? Clawing and screaming in his coffin:)
- What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws? A crabomination
- For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic...
Share These Claws Jokes With Friends
Claws One Liners
Which claws one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with claws? I can suggest the ones about clam and tentacles.
- What is a cats way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement!
- What did the cat use to sharpen its claws? Me. Ow.
- What would mlk do if he were alive today? Scream and claw at the top of his coffin.
- What did the koalas say to the zookeeper after he cut their claws? "Eucalyptus!"
- What do you call a cat that walks through a desert on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws
- What do you call a cat you get for Christmas? Santa Claws
- what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws
- What do you call a raven that delivers Christmas Presents? Santa Claws
- What do you call a dog on the beach? Sandy Claws
Merry Christmas - Have you ever eaten a claw machine? I've heard they taste a bit gamey.
- What is Santa's favorite part of a cat The claws
- Why did the hermit crab refuse to go in his shell? Because he was claw-strophobic!
- Why can't anybody win at a Frozen claw machine? Because it will always let it go
- Santa Claus once sent a claw as a gift to me. Sounds like something he would do.
- Who brings presents to lobsters? Santa Claws
Silly & Ridiculous Claws Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about claws you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fingernails jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make claws pranks.
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.
First trip to the USA
My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.
My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws.
"What are you doing??" I asked incredulously.
""Exercising my freedom. Now I'm here, I have the right to Bear arms!"
Why was Wolverine (from the X-Men) fired from the law firm?
Because he forgot to read the contract claws.
What do you call a crustacean that's bad at pitching?
A lobster, but what it really boils down to is his claws being tied.
A man is lost in a forrest and encounters a Yeti
Terrified, he screams, "Don't hurt me!"
But the Yeti approaches him closer and closer, bearing its claws.
The man starts praying to God to rescue him.
God comes down and says, "Well, well, well. You never believed in me, why are you praying now?"
Flustered, the man exclaims, "I didn't believe in the Yeti either yet here we are!"
What has three legs, sharp teeth, claws and is seven feet tall ?
I don't know but it's behind you !
Wolverine and Santa moved to San Francisco and adopted a baby boy
They named him Santa Claws
What did God tell the sloth upon its creation?
You're pretty slow so here, take these claws.
What's your cat's name?
It's santa. But don't pick it up.
Why not?
Because Santa claws
Whats Santa's favorite weapon?
Claws..
"I got this idea for a new Cyberpunk 2077 villain. His name is Claws."
"Because of his hands?"
"That and because he's German."
What does a crab and Christmas have in common?
Sandy Claws
