The Best 28 Claws Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Claws jokes. There are some claws dogs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these claws paw puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Claws Jokes and Puns

"I got this idea for a new Cyberpunk 2077 villain. His name is Claws."

"Because of his hands?"
"That and because he's German."

So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Great Dane: So what are you here for?

Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for sex so they're having me castrated, you?

Great Dane: My mistress does the housework naked, she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.

Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?

Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.

Claws joke, Two dogs are at the vet talking.

A man is lost in a forrest and encounters a Yeti

Terrified, he screams, "Don't hurt me!"

But the Yeti approaches him closer and closer, bearing its claws.

The man starts praying to God to rescue him.

God comes down and says, "Well, well, well. You never believed in me, why are you praying now?"

Flustered, the man exclaims, "I didn't believe in the Yeti either yet here we are!"

what did a crab say to another crab on christmas

hey sandy claws


Whats Santa's favorite weapon?

Claws..

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Claws joke, What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

What do you call a dog on the beach?

Sandy Claws

Merry Christmas

Which weapon would Santa use to kill someone?

**Santa**'s **Claws**.

What did the koalas say to the zookeeper after he cut their claws?

"Eucalyptus!"

You can explore claws meows reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean claws wolverine dad jokes. There are also claws puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why was Wolverine (from the X-Men) fired from the law firm?

Because he forgot to read the contract claws.

What do you call a raven that delivers Christmas Presents?

Santa Claws

What is Santa's favorite part of a cat

The claws

What's your cat's name?

It's santa. But don't pick it up.

Why not?

Because Santa claws

What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?

A crabomination

Claws joke, What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octo

What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma?

A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause

What do christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?

Sandy Claws

What did God tell the sloth upon its creation?

You're pretty slow so here, take these claws.


Who brings presents to lobsters?

Santa Claws

Wolverine and Santa moved to San Francisco and adopted a baby boy

They named him Santa Claws

What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws

What has three legs, sharp teeth, claws and is seven feet tall ?

I don't know but it's behind you !

What do you call a crustacean that's bad at pitching?

A lobster, but what it really boils down to is his claws being tied.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

What's the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.

My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws.

"What are you doing??" I asked incredulously.

""Exercising my freedom. Now I'm here, I have the right to Bear arms!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the claws claw jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working claws tongs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes