Claustrophobic Jokes

Following is our collection of chimney puns and claustrophobia one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Claustrophobic jokes for adults, dirty paranoid jokes and clean flue dad gags for kids.

The Best Claustrophobic Puns

What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?

There's not mushroom in here

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space

What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators.

I've been taking steps to avoid it.

Are all women claustrophobic?

It seems like everyone screams when they're in the trunk of my car.


I only hire Claustrophobic people,

they are so much better at thinking outside of the box.

What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well?

He flipped out

Did you hear about the guy that was afraid of Santa?

He was Claus-trophobic

Why does the man decorate his house Christmas themed for Halloween?

To scare people who are claustrophobic

I'm claustrophobic...

I'm afraid of Santa.

When are claustrophobic people thinking at their best?

When they think outside the box.


I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people...

Luckily there wasn't a single person in it

Claustrophobic people are interesting

Because they always try to think outside of the box.

Why is Santa always afraid he'll get stuck in the chimney?

He is claus-trophobic.

Why do sperm in a gay relationship get claustrophobic?

Because there's no womb to move around in.

What was Santa feeling while stuck in the chimney?

He was feeling claus-trophobic.

I have a crippling fear of Santa

Apparently I'm Claustrophobic.

Did you hear Santa stopped coming down chimneys?

He kept getting Claus-trophobic.

What's the difference between Obama, Trump, and a claustrophobic Eskimo?

Only the Eskimo doesn't want to get Snowden.


My friend told me he hates Christmas time.

He hates it because he is claustrophobic.

What do you call Santa in a tight space?

Claustrophobic

What is the pinnacle of irony?

A claustrophobic gay kid, because he is scared to come out of the closet

Why didn't the cops save Santa from the Chimney?

They're Claustrophobic.

I hated sitting on Santa's lap when I was young...

... he was just so big and I was claustrophobic.

Why was the whale afraid of elevators?

He was claustrophobic.

There is an abundance of agoraphobia jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes and claustrophobic puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any queasy witze you can hear about claustrophobic.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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