Clause Jokes
89 clause jokes and hilarious clause puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clause that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Clause Short Jokes
Short clause jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clause humour may include short sentence jokes also.
- What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
- Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause.
- Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.
- What's the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ? Emptied his sack.
- What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
- 4 stages of life.... 1) You believe in Santa.
2) You don't believe in Santa.
3) You are Santa.
4) You look like Santa. - Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents. - You know, I've never seen my Dad and Santa Claus in the same room Come to think of it, actually, I've never seen my Dad.
- Amazon is a lot like Santa Clause It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around christmas and is very eager for our cookies.
- What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
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Clause One Liners
Which clause one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clause? I can suggest the ones about paragraph and chapter.
- My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
- Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.
- What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They don't come until you're asleep.
- I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live.
- TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause
- What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
- What is another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses!
- Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year
- What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
- What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
- What do Santa Claus and my dad have in common? I've never met the real one...
- TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact
- A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said.... "Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
- Who corrects Santa's grammar? A subordinate Clause.
- Why do some Jewish people believe in Santa Claus? because he isreal
Clause Contract Jokes
Here is a list of funny clause contract jokes and even better clause contract puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What contract does Mall-Santa sign? A Santa Clause
- Why is Santa considered a trickster? His contracts always have hidden clauses
- Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract.
- I tried to sue Santa for skipping our house on Christmas ...but he had a clause in his contract that allowed it
- What part of the contract must parents follow while buying Christmas presents? The Santa Clause.
- What do you call a part of a contract to allow Christmas presents to be delivered? The Santa Clause
- Why does Santa always have to work today? It's a Claus in his contract
- Why is the Grinch seeking out a contract lawyer? To help get rid of the Santa Clauses
Howlingly Hilarious Clause Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about clause you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phrase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clause pranks.
Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children?
They call him the elastic clause.
Why does Santa deliver all the presents
Because it's for a good clause
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Santa got involved with Christmas
Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.
Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted?
Because of the Santa Clause
What do you call Santa without toys?
A lost Clause
The musical doctor
Man: Doctor Doctor I need a cure for my depression.
Doctor: Music is great therapy, here, I'll loan you my old guitar, it's broken but you should get some use out of it.
Man: Hang on, why would you lend me your guitar just like that? Is there some sort of hidden clause in this?
Doctor: Don't worry, there's no strings attached.
ba dum tss.
The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder:
ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?
The U.S. instituted a new law after a man dressed as Santa committed a felony.
It was called the Santa Clause.
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
A lost clause.
How does father Christmas get away with suing everyone?
The Santa Clause
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Santa Clause and a p**...?
Nothing, they both like to unload their sacks while pleasuring children.
Have You Heard of the Arabic Santa Clause?
No? Me either. It's because he's on the No-Fly list.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dumb blonde a smart blonde and santa clause all jump off of a building at the same time. Who lands first?
The dumb blonde the other two dont exist
Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause?
because he only came once a year
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an old tubby black man with a long, white beard and red suit?
Grandfather Clause
"♪ ♫ He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake... ♪, ♫"
Which is why Santa Clause was arrested and convicted for aggravated stalking and unlawful breaking and entering by a jury of his peers in a court of law.
Who brings Christmas cheer to America?
Independent Clause
Lawyers have drafted a new law regarding breaking-and-entering.
They're calling it the Santa clause
What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?
He knows where all the naughty girls live
#*( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*
What do you call an incomplete Christmas sentence?
A santa clause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of women does Santa clause like?
h**..., h**..., h**....
When I was young and was getting in trouble, I remember leading up to Christmas trying think of clever excuses to get off the naughty list.
I guess you could say I was looking for the Santa *Clause*.
When I was young, I stopped believing in Santa despite massive peer pressure.
You could say I was a rebel without a Clause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An English Joke
What happens to Santa when he gets addicted to h**...?
He becomes a dependent clause
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**..., h**..., h**..., Merry Christmas!
This is what Santa Clause says when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.
I just found out that Santa Clause raises livestock in between Christmas...
I guess you could call him a Jolly Rancher
What happened to Santa Clause when he took an English class to write his own letters?
He became an independent clause.
A lawyer told me this in a dream. It's really dumb, but i can't stop giggling
How do you evict a Lion?
You can't. Lions are protected from eviction by the Lion's Clause.
.... I'll show myself out.
Saint Nick got off scot-free from years of accumulated speeding charges.
He cited the Santa clause.
What's the difference between Santa Clause, Kim Jong Un, and 34 ounces of printer ink?
One's a deer leader, one is a Dear Leader, and the other is a dear liter.
Why is Miss Clause unhappy with her and Santa's relationship?
He only comes once a year
Nothing in life ever comes easily...
Even Santa comes with a clause.
TIL that there is a federal law that mandates more jail time be given for breaking and entering a home on a holiday.
It's called the Santa Clause
Why did the lawyer have to dress as Santa on his company's christmas party?
Because he didn't read the Santa Clause.
Why does Santa come down the chimney?
Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.
Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?
Who gets the money?
In a room there is a poor Nigerian man, a rich Nigerian man, Santa Clause, and the Tooth Fairy. In the middle of the room there is a million dollars. Out of the 4 who gets the millions dollars?
Obviously the poor Nigerian man because the other 3 do not exist.
What do you call a Jamaican Santa Claus?
Bumba Clause!
I'm trying to remember this one
I saw a lady Santa Clause a standing on the street, she asked me what I wanted....
My case comes up next week!
How do you identify a pregnant clause when editing writing?
It's missing a period.
I was revising an essay the other day...
when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.
What do you call the basic unit of grammar when it walks into a maze?
A lost clause.
Who visits pregnant women on Christmas Eve?
Placenta Clause
2 call girls are discussing Christmas
"So what are you going to ask Santa Clause?"
"Oh, I think my normal price!"
Why don't lawyers celebrate Christmas?
Because of the Santa clause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know why santa clause is always so happy?
Cause of all his h**...'s
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Santa Clause?
Santa stops after 3 h**...'s.
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?
A rebel without a clause
What's the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?
One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause...
Daddy did too. Now they're getting a divorce. Merry Christmas my a**....
What does the Egyptian Santa Clause say when he enters a child's house?
I come bearing glyphs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Mrs. Clause cheat on Santa?
You'd think it's because she's a h**... h**... h**..., but really he just wasn't present enough.
What is the legal loop hole in breaking and entering laws?
The Santa Clause
