Clause Jokes

100 clause jokes and hilarious clause puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about clause that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Clause Short Jokes

Short clause jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The clause humour may include short sentence jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
  2. Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause.
  3. There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.
    They're great for separating independent Clauses.
  4. Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.
  5. I took my son to see Santa Claus yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes. God knows what Santa Claus thought of him.
  6. What's the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ? Emptied his sack.
  7. What's the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? The way they traveled through the chimney.
  8. What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
  9. 4 stages of life.... 1) You believe in Santa.
    2) You don't believe in Santa.
    3) You are Santa.
    4) You look like Santa.
  10. One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, Please send me a sister. Santa Claus wrote him back, OK, please send me your mother.

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Clause One Liners

Which clause one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with clause? I can suggest the ones about paragraph and chapter.

  1. My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
  2. Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.
  3. What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They don't come until you're asleep.
  4. I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live.
  5. TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause
  6. What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
  7. Why shouldn't you make a agreement with wolverine ? Because of his retractable Clause
  8. What is another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses!
  9. Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year
  10. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
  11. How are Bill Cosby and Santa Claus similar They both only come when your sleeping
  12. What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
  13. What do Santa Claus and my dad have in common? I've never met the real one...
  14. TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact
  15. Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? He only comes once a year

Santa Clause Jokes

Here is a list of funny santa clause jokes and even better santa clause puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the easter Bunny. Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.
  • Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  • You know, I've never seen my Dad and Santa Claus in the same room Come to think of it, actually, I've never seen my Dad.
  • Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.
  • Who did Santa approach when he wanted to get a divorce? The Semi colon. They're good at separating independent clauses.
  • What's the difference between Santa Claus and voter fraud? One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.
  • Amazon is a lot like Santa Clause It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around christmas and is very eager for our cookies.
  • Why did Mrs. Claus finally leave Santa after all these years? She found out about his other two hos.
  • Santa Jingle… He's making a list.
    He's checking it twice.
    Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
    Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
  • The four stages of life, in Santa Clause terms. 1) You believe in Santa.
    2) You don't believe in Santa.
    3) You pretend to be Santa.
    4) You look like Santa.

Clause Contract Jokes

Here is a list of funny clause contract jokes and even better clause contract puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You should never sign a contract with Wolverine. He has retractable clause.
  • What contract does Mall-Santa sign? A Santa Clause
  • Why is Santa considered a trickster? His contracts always have hidden clauses
  • Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract.
  • I tried to sue Santa for skipping our house on Christmas ...but he had a clause in his contract that allowed it
  • What part of the contract must parents follow while buying Christmas presents? The Santa Clause.
  • What do you call a part of a contract to allow Christmas presents to be delivered? The Santa Clause
  • Why does Santa always have to work today? It's a Claus in his contract
  • Why is the Grinch seeking out a contract lawyer? To help get rid of the Santa Clauses
Clause joke, Why is the Grinch seeking out a contract lawyer?

Clause joke, Why is the Grinch seeking out a contract lawyer?

Howlingly Hilarious Clause Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about clause you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phrase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make clause pranks.

Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children?

They call him the elastic clause.

Why does Santa deliver all the presents

Because it's for a good clause

Santa was having a really bad day....

Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.

Why Santa got involved with Christmas

Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.

Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted?

Because of the Santa Clause

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

The musical doctor

Man: Doctor Doctor I need a cure for my depression.
Doctor: Music is great therapy, here, I'll loan you my old guitar, it's broken but you should get some use out of it.
Man: Hang on, why would you lend me your guitar just like that? Is there some sort of hidden clause in this?
Doctor: Don't worry, there's no strings attached.
ba dum tss.

The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder:

ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?

The U.S. instituted a new law after a man dressed as Santa committed a felony.

It was called the Santa Clause.

What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?

A lost clause.

How does father Christmas get away with suing everyone?

The Santa Clause

What's the difference between Santa Clause and a p**...?

Nothing, they both like to unload their sacks while pleasuring children.

Have You Heard of the Arabic Santa Clause?

No? Me either. It's because he's on the No-Fly list.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause?

because he only came once a year

"♪ ♫ He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake... ♪, ♫"

Which is why Santa Clause was arrested and convicted for aggravated stalking and unlawful breaking and entering by a jury of his peers in a court of law.

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

What do you call an incomplete Christmas sentence?

A santa clause.

What kind of women does Santa clause like?

h**..., h**..., h**....

When I was young and was getting in trouble, I remember leading up to Christmas trying think of clever excuses to get off the naughty list.

I guess you could say I was looking for the Santa *Clause*.

When I was young, I stopped believing in Santa despite massive peer pressure.

You could say I was a rebel without a Clause.

An English Joke

What happens to Santa when he gets addicted to h**...?
He becomes a dependent clause

h**..., h**..., h**..., Merry Christmas!

This is what Santa Clause says when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.

I just found out that Santa Clause raises livestock in between Christmas...

I guess you could call him a Jolly Rancher

What happened to Santa Clause when he took an English class to write his own letters?

He became an independent clause.

A lawyer told me this in a dream. It's really dumb, but i can't stop giggling

How do you evict a Lion?
You can't. Lions are protected from eviction by the Lion's Clause.
.... I'll show myself out.

Saint Nick got off scot-free from years of accumulated speeding charges.

He cited the Santa clause.

What's the difference between Santa Clause, Kim Jong Un, and 34 ounces of printer ink?

One's a deer leader, one is a Dear Leader, and the other is a dear liter.

What do you think of Santa Clause?

He sleighs.

Why is Miss Clause unhappy with her and Santa's relationship?

He only comes once a year

Nothing in life ever comes easily...

Even Santa comes with a clause.

TIL that there is a federal law that mandates more jail time be given for breaking and entering a home on a holiday.

It's called the Santa Clause

Why did the lawyer have to dress as Santa on his company's christmas party?

Because he didn't read the Santa Clause.

Do you know why is Santa Clause is jolly all the time?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.
Which is a good thing because he only comes once a year.
*Heard this from an old white guy in the sauna today lol.*

Why does Santa come down the chimney?

Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.

My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

Who gets the money?

In a room there is a poor Nigerian man, a rich Nigerian man, Santa Clause, and the Tooth Fairy. In the middle of the room there is a million dollars. Out of the 4 who gets the millions dollars?
Obviously the poor Nigerian man because the other 3 do not exist.

What do you call a Jamaican Santa Claus?

Bumba Clause!

I'm trying to remember this one

I saw a lady Santa Clause a standing on the street, she asked me what I wanted....
My case comes up next week!

How do you identify a pregnant clause when editing writing?

It's missing a period.

I was revising an essay the other day...

when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.

What's the similarities between Micheal Jackson and Santa Clause?

They both leave children's houses with their sacks empty.

What do you call the basic unit of grammar when it walks into a maze?

A lost clause.

2 call girls are discussing Christmas

"So what are you going to ask Santa Clause?"
"Oh, I think my normal price!"

Do you know why santa clause is always so happy?

Cause of all his h**...'s

What's the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause

What kind of chips do Mrs. and Mr. Clause eat?

Kringle cut!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Santa Clause?

Santa stops after 3 h**...'s.

What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?

A rebel without a clause

What's the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?

One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause...

Daddy did too. Now they're getting a divorce. Merry Christmas my a**....

What does the Egyptian Santa Clause say when he enters a child's house?

I come bearing glyphs

Why did Mrs. Clause cheat on Santa?

You'd think it's because she's a h**... h**... h**..., but really he just wasn't present enough.

What is the legal loop hole in breaking and entering laws?

The Santa Clause

Clause joke, You should never sign a contract with Wolverine.

jokes about clause