Claus Jokes

Funniest Claus Short Jokes

Short claus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The claus humour may include short noel jokes also.

1. What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
2. Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause.
3. Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney.
4. What's the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ? Emptied his sack.
5. What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
6. 4 stages of life.... 1) You believe in Santa.
   2) You don't believe in Santa.
   3) You are Santa.
   4) You look like Santa.
7. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
   Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
8. You know, I've never seen my Dad and Santa Claus in the same room Come to think of it, actually, I've never seen my Dad.
9. Amazon is a lot like Santa Clause It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around christmas and is very eager for our cookies.
10. What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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Claus One Liners

Which claus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with claus? I can suggest the ones about mistletoe and mrs claus.

1. My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
2. Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.
3. What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They don't come until you're asleep.
4. I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live.
5. TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause
6. What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
7. What is another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses!
8. Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year
9. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
10. What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
11. What do Santa Claus and my dad have in common? I've never met the real one...
12. TIL Santa Claus is European.. North Polish to be exact
13. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said.... "Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
14. Who corrects Santa's grammar? A subordinate Clause.
15. Why do some Jewish people believe in Santa Claus? because he isreal

Santa Claus Jokes

Here is a list of funny santa claus jokes and even better santa claus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did Mrs. Claus finally leave Santa after all these years? She found out about his other two hos.
• Santa Jingle… He's making a list.
  He's checking it twice.
  Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
  Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
• Why does Santa come down the chimney? Mrs. clause told him he'd never be allowed to come in the back Door.
• My drunk uncle is Santa Claus He breaks into my house, drinks all the milk and snacks.. Then, he unloads his sack all over the living room.
• Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
• How come chinese kids dont belive in santa claus? Because they're the ones that make the toys.
• What did Mrs. Claus said when Santa Claus asked how is the weather? "It looks like rain dear!"
• What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.
• Two prostitutes are discussing one asks the other:
  -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year?
  the other one answers:
  -Fifty dollars like everybody else
• When my parents told me there was no Santa Claus I was so mad at them! I stomped out the door, got in my car and drove away.

Mrs Claus Jokes

Here is a list of funny mrs claus jokes and even better mrs claus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• why couldn't mrs. claus get pregnant? santa only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney...
• Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed? because Santa came early!
  I'll let myself out.
• Santa Claus came early! Mrs. Claus wasn't too happy.
• How does Mrs. Claus describe her husband's annoying laugh? Ha ha ha
• Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause? because he only came once a year
• Why is Mrs. Claus so cranky? Santa only comes once a year and it's down a chimney.
• What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now? I told you it would rain, dear.
• What's Mrs. Clause's favorite romance novel? 50 shades of sleigh.
• Did you know Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus were cousins from Alabama? Yule tide.
• Why does Mrs Clause pray for a white Christmas? Because Santa always comes once a year.

Entertaining Claus Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about claus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean santa claus jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make claus pranks.