Claude Jokes
26 claude jokes and hilarious claude puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about claude that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Claude Short Jokes
Short claude jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The claude humour may include short manufacturer jokes also.
- Did you hear about the guy who changed his name after surviving being attacked by a lion? He's now called Claud.
- Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Jean-Claude Juncker all jump from a plane without a parachute, in what order do they hit the ground? Doesn't matter.
- I just had Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren beat me up. It was terrible. Now I'm seeing stars.
- "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." - ISIS on Jean-Claude Van Damme
- Joke. What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?
......Claude!
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Claude One Liners
Which claude one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with claude? I can suggest the ones about antique and arena.
- What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear? Claude
- What do you call a man with fifteen cats? Claude.
- What do you call a shellfish Action movie star? Jean Claude Van Clam.
- Q: What do you call a man attacked by a cat?
A: Claude. - What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat? Claude
- What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats? Claude.
- There was this lion tamer who wore only a loincloth... Claude Johnson
- What do you call a wet kickboxer? Jean Claude Van Damp
- Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
- Mirror mirror on the wall... JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMMMM I AM FINE.
- My cat is out of control! Taming Wild Cats by Claud Face
- What do you call a m**... action hero? Jean-Claude Van Darn
- What did the ace of s**... say to Claude Monet? "Draw me like one of your French girls."
Cheeky Claude Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about claude you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tiger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make claude pranks.
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
This is one of my dad's favorite jokes
There are three elephants in a bathtub.
Clyde says to Claude "Pass the soap."
Claude says "No soap radio."
\*I'm curious if anyone knows the joke
Jean Claude Van Damme meets James Bond for the first time. Bond introduces himself.
"the name's Bond. James... Bond."
Jean Claude replies
"The name's Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean Claude Van Damme"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Sad Attempt
Q: After getting fired from his job at the painting factory, why did Claude Monet wear sweatpants every day for 2 straight weeks?
A: He didn't have anyone to Impress.
Q: What did the social outcast crow say when none of the other crows would let her join their cliques?
A: Someone please m**... me.
Q: In the movie The 6th Day, what did Arnold Schwarzenegger's character say when he found out that his wife had cheated on him with his clone?
A: I'm going to kill myself.
Chuck, Jean Claude and Arnold.
Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?".
Chuck Norris said, "I would be Motzart." Jean Claud VanDam said, "I would be Bethoven." Arnold said, "I'll be Bach!"
