Claude Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Claude jokes. There are some claude jacques jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these claude jean claude van damme puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Cheeky Claude Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear?


Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

This is one of my dad's favorite jokes

There are three elephants in a bathtub.

Clyde says to Claude "Pass the soap."

Claude says "No soap radio."

\*I'm curious if anyone knows the joke

Jean Claude Van Damme meets James Bond for the first time. Bond introduces himself.

"the name's Bond. James... Bond."

Jean Claude replies

"The name's Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean Claude Van Damme"

What do you call a man with fifteen cats?


What do you call a shellfish Action movie star?

Jean Claude Van Clam.

Claude joke, What do you call a shellfish Action movie star?

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?


James Bond and Van Damme meet

And James Bond says "Hi, I'm Bond, James Bond".

Van Damme says "Hi, I'm Damme, Van Damme, Claude Van Damme, Jean Claude Van Damme."

A Sad Attempt

Q: After getting fired from his job at the painting factory, why did Claude Monet wear sweatpants every day for 2 straight weeks?
A: He didn't have anyone to Impress.

Q: What did the social outcast crow say when none of the other crows would let her join their cliques?
A: Someone please murder me.

Q: In the movie The 6th Day, what did Arnold Schwarzenegger's character say when he found out that his wife had cheated on him with his clone?
A: I'm going to kill myself.

There was this lion tamer who wore only a loincloth...

Claude Johnson

You can explore claude andre reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean claude flung dad jokes. There are also claude puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a wet kickboxer?

Jean Claude Van Damp

Chuck, Jean Claude and Arnold.

Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?".

Chuck Norris said, "I would be Motzart." Jean Claud VanDam said, "I would be Bethoven." Arnold said, "I'll be Bach!"

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?



What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the claude antique puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working claude ernest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes