The Best 60 Classroom Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Classroom jokes. There are some classroom curriculum jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these classroom school puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Classroom Jokes and Puns

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

When I was in School this emo girl was caught jacking off her boyfriend. Whether it be in the lunchroom, the classroom, the bathroom, etc. She always was jacking him off.

Last I heard the girl got expelled and the guy got off.

In a classroom

The teacher is talking to little girls about Johnny's awful language 'Remember girls, when Johnny starts swearing just go out of our classroom.' Johnny came in and sat down. The teacher asked what are the buildings under construction in town. Kids say many things but then Little Johnny says 'They are building a whorehouse nearby'. And so every girl got up and started heading for the door. Then Johnny shouted 'Wait up whores, it will be done in a month, what's the rush'

Classroom joke, In a classroom

Philosophy final

in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.

"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."

Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.

The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"

His answer: What chair?

So there's this classroom full of students in china...

...and this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.


The inflatable headteacher at the inflatable school caught the inflatable student bringing a pin into the classroom.

He said, "Not only have you let yourself down, you've let me down, you've let your teachers down, and you've let the whole school down..."

The suicide bombing instructor

It's 2:00 PM at the suicide bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:

"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."

Classroom joke, The suicide bombing instructor

A teacher assigns her students to read a chapter of a book.

"Class, I want you to read chapter 31 of the book I assigned you. Understood?"

The entire class agreed. "Okay. Class is dismissed. Remember to read it."

Skip to the next day in the classroom. "Okay, so whoever read chapter 31, please stand up."

Every student stood up. "Now, all of you go to the principals office."

Every student is shocked and confused.

"Why, you ask? There isn't any chapter 31!".

why did the computer go to the cafe?, and who is the king of the classroom?

to get a byte, and
the ruler!!!

my one sub teacher tells absolutely terrible jokes everytime we have her!

The first day of school...

The first day of school was always great. I remember mucking around in the classroom and wreaking havoc. Picking on the little kids and taking their lunch money. Asserting myself on the playground by tripping and pushing everyone.

I just hope the students were having fun.

Joke I came up with when I was ten

So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"

It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.

You can explore classroom pupil reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean classroom classmates dad jokes. There are also classroom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Swedish exchange student asked me if he could do 'meth' in my classroom after school

As a maths teacher, I was pleasantly surprised by his willingness to learn.

It must be hard to be the fat kid in your classroom...

And must be even harder for Kim Jong Eun, who is the only fat kid in his country.

An uneducqted prostitute goes by an elementary school.

She hears a class in progress and is interested. She approaches the classroom window and hears the teacher "..What comes after N?" "P!" The children shout in unison. The teacher continues "Now can someone tell me what comes after P" the prostitute in a fit of excitement burst out "BURNING!"

Why is your cat at school?

Jimmy walks in his classroom with his cat. Then the teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy sobbing replied, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

*love

Before we left the room, our teacher told us all to pick up at least one piece of trash on our way out.

So as I walked out the classroom, I looked at her and said "Hey baby, here's my number, call me."

Classroom joke, Before we left the room, our teacher told us all to pick up at least one piece of trash on our way o

What do you call a paedophile in a classroom?

Sir.

Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom?

She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha..

The German Dream

A student was listening to his teacher while they prepare to discuss about "The American Dream", the teacher was going around the classroom asking what everyone thought it meant, then the teacher asked the exchange student if they had their own version of "The American Dream" on their country. The German exchange student replied "We did before, but the world didn't like it."


A Bitter Army Veteran storms into a classroom and shouts "If it weren't for me you'd all be speaking German!"

"That's right" replies the German teacher.

Classroom Nerd

(In a high school class room)

Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp

I'm a teacher...

Today I had a new student in my class.

I asked him his name, and he said his name was Ben, and that he has just moved from Germany.

So I asked him how old he was, and he said "9!" So I slapped him. I will not tolerate insolence in my classroom.

A kid from England walks into an classroom in America.

Kid: Is this maths?

Teacher: No, this is math.

Kid: Ah, so you don't do multiples here.

What happened when the child molester lost his job?

Classroom 3-A got a new teacher.

TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom.

Whoops, wrong sub!

Billy and Tommy are in a classroom

Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.

Billy: What are you going up to ask?

Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.

Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.

Why was the English teacher arrested?

She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

A sexy teacher enters a classroom with 20 boys......

All 40 get up.

Little Johnny in the classroom..

One day, a teacher asked her students, "if you think you are stupid, please stand up." No one thought they were stupid, so they remained sitting. She asked again, "if you think you are stupid, please stand up." Little Johnny stood up, and everyone around him started laughing. The teacher asked "now why did you think you are stupid?" Little Johnny replied, "I don't, but I didn't wanna see you standing there all by yourself."

True story

A few months ago one of my classmates enters a messy classroom and exclaims:
- These desks make me wanna learn sorting algorithms!

Hospital and Cop

*In class*

Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"

Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."

Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"

Jay: "Yes, please."

After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and his mother at the hospital?"

Classmate: "Because his father is a policeman and his mom's a nurse."

If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.

And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom naked.

What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

What do you get when somebody smuggles weed into the special ed classroom?

Baked potatoes.

The movie Arrival was so unrealistic.

The professor in the movie actually knew how to use the AV equipment in their classroom.

A teacher asked in a class full of blondes who killed Abraham Lincoln

A student said It wasn't me
Second blonde said I was absent yesterday
Another blonde I couldn't kill a fly and you ask me if I killed a human being

The teacher frustratingly left the classroom and head to the principal,whose happen to be blonde.

She heard the story and went to the class.

She left the classroom and asked the teacher are you sure the killer in this class?

Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Which is strange, because I can't recall any classmates who might have been gay...

Three kids walk into a classroom...

The White girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 45 minutes

The Asian girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 35 minutes

The Mexican girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 5 minutes

How do you teach a bunch of kids about God—who He is, and what He does?

Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.

Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.

I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...

A bird flew into my math classroom today.

It must've wanted to learn geome-tree.

I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.

In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."

He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.

Why did the Muslim boy ask to leave the classroom?

He had to take a Shiite.

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.

Now, what does each get?

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.

With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!

My high school English teacher was so mean!

She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"

Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"

I once read a book called binary 101

It was 5

I stole this from my IT classroom

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.

Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!

Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!

Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?

Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

The Last Exam

(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)

A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.

After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.

What chair?

He was the only one to pass the exam.

A teacher would always enter the classroom with a vulgar joke

The girls decided that next time he does it they would all leave the room. Now the teacher caught wind of this plot and when the day came, he said: it turns out that there is a boatload of whores that are going to Africa at this all the girls start to leave the teacher stops them by saying hey, hey ladies! The boat leaves next week

A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students

He then started:

-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!

He abruptly stops singing and asks:

Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?

I was misbehaving in class...

I was misbehaving in class one day, and was sent out of the classroom to the head's office.

He said to me This is the 4th time this week! We're going to have to take this further. I'm going to call your father and ask him to come down so we can discuss your punishment.

I can't wait to meet him!

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

A string gets tied up

A string walks into a classroom. The teacher sees the string, then ties it between two posts tightly. Did the teacher do a good job teaching?





Yes, because the string was taut.

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"

I farted in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?

Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I'm outside in the fresh air."

Two boys are arguing when the teacher enters the classroom. The teacher says, What are you two arguing about?

One boy answers, We found a ten-dollar bill and decided whoever tells the biggest lie gets to keep it.
You two should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher. When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was. The boys looked at each other and handed the ten dollars to the teacher.

Why did the eyeglasses walk into the classroom quietly?

They didn't want to make a spectacle

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear

Fuzzy Wuzz had no hair.

If Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear without hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

(This still cracks me up 20+ years outside the 2nd grade classroom where me and my boys gut-laughed to tears over this)

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

A joke from my grandfather

In a kindergarten classroom in Moscow in 1980:

Teacher: The Soviet Union is the heaven where you always have food to fill your stomach and your parents have a job and everyone is happy.

Student named Mikhail: Teacher I want to go to the Soviet Union.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the classroom student jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working classroom schoolyard piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes