Classroom Jokes

108 classroom jokes and hilarious classroom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about classroom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article contains a comprehensive list of classroom appropriate jokes and gags. It includes jokes for April Fools, Halloween, between teachers and students, and kindergarten-level jokes such as those involving Johnny. Perfect for making your classroom atmosphere light and fun!

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Funniest Classroom Short Jokes

Short classroom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The classroom humour may include short courtroom jokes also.

  1. A Bitter Army Veteran storms into a classroom and shouts "If it weren't for me you'd all be speaking German!" "That's right" replies the German teacher.
  2. Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom. I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...
  3. What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil? I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
  4. A science teacher was teaching his students how to convert from pounds to kilograms. There was mass confusion in the classroom.
  5. Why did the eyeglasses walk into the classroom quietly? They didn't want to make a spectacle
  6. The movie Arrival was so unrealistic. The professor in the movie actually knew how to use the AV equipment in their classroom.
  7. What do a gun and a pack of gum have in common? When you pull them out in a classroom, everybody wants to be your friend.
  8. As soon as I entered the classroom I knew I was going to fail my maths test. So I did a 360 and left.
  9. I complained to my maths teacher that it was too cold in the classroom He told me to stand in the corner.
    Because the coner is 90 degrees
  10. How do you teach a bunch of kids about God—who He is, and what He does? Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.

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Classroom One Liners

Which classroom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with classroom? I can suggest the ones about conference room and meeting room.

  1. I once read a book called binary 101 It was 5
    I stole this from my IT classroom
  2. What happened to the plant on the windowsill of the math classroom? It grew square roots!
  3. Why was the English teacher arrested? She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.
  4. Why did the Muslim boy ask to leave the classroom? He had to take a Shiite.
  5. TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom. Whoops, wrong sub!
  6. What is a sea lion's favorite classroom subject? ART! ART! ART!
  7. A bird flew into my math classroom today. It must've wanted to learn geome-tree.
  8. You can tell when an old classroom is under demonic possession... by it's lack of pupils.
  9. Why did the firemen go to the classroom? It was a heated debate.
  10. Who is the king of the classroom? The ruler.
  11. "Is this a classroom?" said the teacher... loudly... in a fish market.
  12. What is the king of the classroom? The Ruler!
  13. Two Rammstein fans walk in a classroom One of them says Aw, shoot .
  14. An angsty white teenage male shoots an entire classroom full of students A smiiile. 😊
  15. What is Communism in the Classroom called? Marksism!

Classroom Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny classroom teacher jokes and even better classroom teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • why did the computer go to the cafe?, and who is the king of the classroom? to get a byte, and
    the ruler!!!
    my one sub teacher tells absolutely terrible jokes everytime we have her!
  • A kid from England walks into an classroom in America. Kid: Is this maths?
    Teacher: No, this is math.
    Kid: Ah, so you don't do multiples here.
  • A physics teacher accidentally walks into the psychology classroom on her first day... Whoops wrong sub
  • TIFU By standing in for a sick teacher in the wrong classroom whoops, wrong sub.
  • Classroom Nerd (In a high school class room)
    Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
    Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
    Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a p**...
  • What happened when the child m**... lost his job? Classroom 3-A got a new teacher.
  • A s**... teacher enters a classroom with 20 boys...... All 40 get up.
  • A Swedish exchange student asked me if he could do m**...' in my classroom after school As a maths teacher, I was pleasantly surprised by his willingness to learn.

Classroom Student Jokes

Here is a list of funny classroom student jokes and even better classroom student puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom. Which is strange, because I can't recall any classmates who might have been gay...
Classroom joke, Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Classroom joke, Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Classroom Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about classroom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean classmate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make classroom pranks.

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.
When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher.
Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing.
An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

When I was in School this emo girl was caught jacking off her boyfriend. Whether it be in the lunchroom, the classroom, the bathroom, etc. She always was jacking him off.

Last I heard the girl got expelled and the guy got off.

No problems

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

In a classroom

The teacher is talking to little girls about Johnny's awful language 'Remember girls, when Johnny starts swearing just go out of our classroom.' Johnny came in and sat down. The teacher asked what are the buildings under construction in town. Kids say many things but then Little Johnny says 'They are building a w**... nearby'. And so every girl got up and started heading for the door. Then Johnny shouted 'Wait up w**..., it will be done in a month, what's the rush'

Philosophy final

in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?

So there's this classroom full of students in china...

...and this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.

The inflatable headteacher at the inflatable school caught the inflatable student bringing a pin into the classroom.

He said, "Not only have you let yourself down, you've let me down, you've let your teachers down, and you've let the whole school down..."

The s**... b**... instructor

It's 2:00 PM at the s**... bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:
"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."

A teacher assigns her students to read a chapter of a book.

"Class, I want you to read chapter 31 of the book I assigned you. Understood?"
The entire class agreed. "Okay. Class is dismissed. Remember to read it."
Skip to the next day in the classroom. "Okay, so whoever read chapter 31, please stand up."
Every student stood up. "Now, all of you go to the principals office."
Every student is shocked and confused.
"Why, you ask? There isn't any chapter 31!".

Importance of Planning

Why planning is important?
One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See below for the question paper.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right

The first day of school...

The first day of school was always great. I remember mucking around in the classroom and wreaking havoc. Picking on the little kids and taking their lunch money. Asserting myself on the playground by tripping and pushing everyone.
I just hope the students were having fun.

Joke I came up with when I was ten

So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"
It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.

A 4th grade '49ers fan in Dallas

The scene is a 4th grade classroom in Dallas, Texas. The teacher asks for a show of hands:
"Hey kids, how many of you are Dallas Cowboys fans?"
Everyone in the class raises their hand, except for little Suzy. The teacher says:
"Little Suzy, I notice you didn't raise your hand. Why is that?" Little Suzy responds:
"Because I'm a 49ers fan!"
"A 49ers fan?," the teacher asks incredulously, "Why on Earth are you a 49ers fan?"
"Because my Mommy is a 49ers fan, my Daddy is a 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan."
The teacher doesn't like Suzy's answer:
"Little Suzy, that's no kind of logic. What if your Daddy was a drug dealer and your Mommy was a p**...?"
Suzy doesn't blink an eye:
"Well then I'd be a Raiders fan!"

It must be hard to be the fat kid in your classroom...

And must be even harder for Kim Jong Eun, who is the only fat kid in his country.

Classroom Joke

For class every student must research a natural disaster. So after everyone gets their topic, the teacher asks them what they chose.
"What did you get, Jimmy?"
"What did you get, Thomas?"
"What did you get, Karl?"
"US Congress."

Why is your cat at school?

Jimmy walks in his classroom with his cat. Then the teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy sobbing replied, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

Before we left the room, our teacher told us all to pick up at least one piece of trash on our way out.

So as I walked out the classroom, I looked at her and said "Hey baby, here's my number, call me."

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What do you call a p**... in a classroom?


Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom?

She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha..

The German Dream

A student was listening to his teacher while they prepare to discuss about "The American Dream", the teacher was going around the classroom asking what everyone thought it meant, then the teacher asked the exchange student if they had their own version of "The American Dream" on their country. The German exchange student replied "We did before, but the world didn't like it."

I'm a teacher...

Today I had a new student in my class.
I asked him his name, and he said his name was Ben, and that he has just moved from Germany.
So I asked him how old he was, and he said "9!" So I slapped him. I will not tolerate insolence in my classroom.

Billy and Tommy are in a classroom

Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.
Billy: What are you going up to ask?
Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.
Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

Little Johnny in the classroom..

One day, a teacher asked her students, "if you think you are s**..., please stand up." No one thought they were s**..., so they remained sitting. She asked again, "if you think you are s**..., please stand up." Little Johnny stood up, and everyone around him started laughing. The teacher asked "now why did you think you are s**...?" Little Johnny replied, "I don't, but I didn't wanna see you standing there all by yourself."

True story

A few months ago one of my classmates enters a messy classroom and exclaims:
- These desks make me wanna learn sorting algorithms!

Hospital and Cop

*In class*
Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"
Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."
Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"
Jay: "Yes, please."
After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and his mother at the hospital?"
Classmate: "Because his father is a policeman and his mom's a nurse."

If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.

And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom n**....

What do you get when somebody smuggles w**... into the special ed classroom?

Baked potatoes.

A teacher asked in a class full of blondes who killed Abraham Lincoln

A student said It wasn't me
Second blonde said I was absent yesterday
Another blonde I couldn't kill a fly and you ask me if I killed a human being
The teacher frustratingly left the classroom and head to the principal,whose happen to be blonde.
She heard the story and went to the class.
She left the classroom and asked the teacher are you sure the killer in this class?

Three kids walk into a classroom...

The White girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 45 minutes
The Asian girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 35 minutes
The Mexican girl enters. The teacher says "Do an essay", and the girl is finished in 5 minutes

I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.

In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."
He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.
One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?
After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.
With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!

My high school English teacher was so mean!

She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"
Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.
Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!
Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!
Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?
Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

The Last Exam

(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.

A teacher would always enter the classroom with a v**... joke

The girls decided that next time he does it they would all leave the room. Now the teacher caught wind of this plot and when the day came, he said: it turns out that there is a boatload of w**... that are going to Africa at this all the girls start to leave the teacher stops them by saying hey, hey ladies! The boat leaves next week

A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students

He then started:
-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!
He abruptly stops singing and asks:
Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?

I was misbehaving in class...

I was misbehaving in class one day, and was sent out of the classroom to the head's office.
He said to me This is the 4th time this week! We're going to have to take this further. I'm going to call your father and ask him to come down so we can discuss your punishment.
I can't wait to meet him!

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

A string gets t**...

A string walks into a classroom. The teacher sees the string, then ties it between two posts tightly. Did the teacher do a good job teaching?

Yes, because the string was taut.

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."

Two boys are arguing when the teacher enters the classroom. The teacher says, What are you two arguing about?

One boy answers, We found a ten-dollar bill and decided whoever tells the biggest lie gets to keep it.
You two should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher. When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was. The boys looked at each other and handed the ten dollars to the teacher.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear

Fuzzy Wuzz had no hair.
If Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear without hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?
(This still cracks me up 20+ years outside the 2nd grade classroom where me and my boys gut-laughed to tears over this)

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

A joke from my grandfather

In a kindergarten classroom in Moscow in 1980:
Teacher: The Soviet Union is the heaven where you always have food to fill your stomach and your parents have a job and everyone is happy.
Student named Mikhail: Teacher I want to go to the Soviet Union.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"?

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."
Student: I is the ...
Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I."
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A member of the family in a London medical college was appointed an honorary physician to the king.

He proudly wrote a notice on the blackboard in his class-room room : " Professor Jennings informs his students that he has been appointed honorary physician to His Majesty, King George."
When he returned to the class-room in the afternoon he found written below his notice this line :
" God save the King."

A teacher teaches class on drug a**...

He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: What are these?
As nobody answers, he says: The big circle is your eye pupil, when you're clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you're high! If the police see this, they put you in jail…
Then he proceeds to draw a small circle and a big circle and asks: What are these? . Nobody answers…
He points to the small circle and says: This is your a**..., before you go to jail….

Make a sentence with Defence, Defeat and Detail...

Little Johnny was back from his summer break where he'd toured the Italian countryside.
The language teacher wanting to spur grey matter in the classroom asked the children to make a sentence with defence, defeat and detail.
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke:
"Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail..."

Funny Classroom Jokes

Teacher to student: Make a sentence using the word I
Student: I is..
Teacher: No that is not correct, you should say I am
Student: Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet !

Late for school

Johnny was late for school one day and when he arrived in his classroom the teacher asked why he was late.
Well replied Johnny, I had to take our cow to the neighbor's farm to mate with his bull . Couldn't your father take care of that? asked the teacher. To which Johnny replied, the cow prefers the bull.

It was terrible, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.

I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.
Well, said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, how in the world did you get here at all?
Well, replied the student, finally after twenty minutes I gave up and started heading home!

I got an all out groan on this one

My son turned 18 and moved out. We turned his room into a home school classroom for my daughters. My wife moved her printer in there and needed to print something a little while later.
Wife- "my phone can't find the printer"
Me- "did you tell it that it moved"

People keep saying chivalry is dead. But, I looked up the definition of chivalry and it has little to do with manners and it is more about knights and combat.

The other day when I didn't open the classroom door for a girl in my class, she said that chivalry is dead. So, I challenged her to a duel.
To conclude, chivalry is not dead. But, that girl is.


A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, I'm drawing God. The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what God looks like. Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, They will in a minute.

A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

It was near the end of the semester and she came to class in a short skirt and low-cut top. After the other students left the classroom she approached the prof.
"You know, I'd do *anything* to pass this class," she said flirtatiously.
The professor lowered his voice and looked down his bifocals. "Really?" he said, "Anything?"
"Yes," she said seductively. "Anything."
The professor drew near and whispered in her ear. "Would you . . . study?"

Classroom joke, A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

jokes about classroom