Classmates Jokes

Following is our collection of whiteboard puns and highschool one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Classmates jokes for adults, dirty colleague jokes and clean comrades dad gags for kids.

The Best Classmates Puns

A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England

He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"

My classmates think the math teacher is mean.

I think he's just average.

The teacher announces the total for an exam.

Teacher: Okay class, only John got 99/100

John:(to his classmates) Ha! See that?! You people are oozing with stupidity. You people should've followed my example. You guys should just shine shoes for a living or just live the rest of your lives as a mountain hermit. You can all drool at my excellence and you-

Teacher: The rest got 100.

I'm not the smartest student ever so I tried something a little risky to get a better grade...

I got a D- on my recent English test and my dad wasn't very happy with my mark. I asked my teacher if I could do a sexual favour for her to get a B+. She got very offended. My classmates didn't think that was okay either, and they stopped talking to me for a few weeks.

If you guys want, I can tell more stories about my homeschooling

Hospital and Cop

*In class*

Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"

Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."

Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"

Jay: "Yes, please."

After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and his mother at the hospital?"

Classmate: "Because his father is a policeman and his mom's a nurse."

Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.

I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...

My classmates call me racist all the time...

But I don't believe them because black people are stupid.

When she was a child, Amy Schumer told her class she wanted to be a comedian. Her classmates laughed at her.

Nobody's laughing now...

Student: I have a slutty halloween dress!

Classmates: What is it?

Student: my teacher. It barely covers anything important

What do you call a very nosy spice?

JalapeΓ±o Business

You need to say this in a pretty thick Hispanic accent for it to work. I heard it from some classmates.

A school shooter is gunning down his classmates when he sees his ex-girlfriend. Why didn't he kill her?

He missed her.

A student places dead last in an important physics test.

He doesn't feel too phased and boasts to his classmates that he can still pass. His teacher later pulls him aside and tells him that he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why were Tommy Wiseau's classmates jealous of him?

Because he had high marks

- Mom, mom ! My classmates call me an orphan !


Why won't Malia and Sasha Obama's classmates gossip about them?

Because they know their father can read their emails.

Growing up we used to vaccinate each other by going "Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got a cootie shot."

Which explains why so many of my classmates had autism.

My son kept asking me for a music player as all his classmates had mp3s

I told him :"Son, if you want real attention, take this mp5"

My classmates admire me because I do not believe the earth is round.

It is quite flattering.

Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Which is strange, because I can't recall any classmates who might have been gay...

My classmates got in trouble for doing this thing to make fun of me for being blind

I can't see why this is so offensive

My classmates and I used to argue all the time about the plural form of the word for female sex cells.

We'd go on and on and waste a lot of time in class, but finally it was resolved. Honestly, I'm glad it's ova.

I passed the presidential fitness test!

It was so much easier than last time.

All I had to do was tweet some nonsense and talk about sexually harassing my classmates!

What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school?

"Do you believe in God?"

-Dad,my classmates at school call me a gangster.

-Don't worry son,i will take care of it.
-Alright,but make sure it will look like an accident,huh?

There's a little bomb whose mommy is the MOAB (Mother Of All Bombs). He is ridiculed by his classmates.

Everyone says,"Your mom blows!", "Your mom is the bomb!" and,"Your mom blew me last night!"

A dyslexic boy was beaten up by classmates for trying to ride on the regular bus instead of the short bus.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Kid: mom, why am I not so bright as my classmates? I fear I might be retarded, mom! :(

Mom: Stop calling me mom in front of my boyfriend!!

When your classmates are laughing at your 9 centimetre

But they haven't seen your 9mm yet

Today I can finally say that I've banged all of my classmates

I'm homeschooled

***Sweet home Alabama***

Why did i had a hammer when i first met my new classmates

To break the ice

Kid friendly jokes

Help! I need some kid friendly jokes to share with my kids (3 & 4 years old) and their classmates. TIA!

The FBI Kavanaugh investigation.

I got this from one of his classmates.

I was pretty flexible back in high school. So flexible that my classmates used to call me Spiderman

Because my uncle got murdered.

Judge: "So did you aim to kill your classmates?"

School shooter: "That wasn't necessary, your Honor, I had a shotgun."

My latino classmates stopped hanging out after I failed English

They couldn't live with me bombing all my Eses.


After statics class today and one of my classmates asked if I was excited about today's lecture. I told him, I wasn't moved by it.

True story

A few months ago one of my classmates enters a messy classroom and exclaims:
- These desks make me wanna learn sorting algorithms!

I'm the valedictorian of my class!

Heh, better than saying all of my classmates died.

How to develop a quick witted mind?

Basically i want to learn how to think fast under pressure. And i'm just not talking about work.
Like today i was insulted by two of my classmates, and i just stood there focusing on my emotions, I couldn't come up with anything. Later that day when i came home, i kept on thinking at that insult until i came up with a counter move.
Any tips?

There is an abundance of teacher jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 39 funniest jokes and classmates puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any dropout witze you can hear about classmates.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes