The Best 40 Classmate Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Classmate jokes. There are some classmate sissy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these classmate housemate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Classmate Jokes and Puns
A boy is told by a classmate that every adult has at least one big secret
A boy is told by a classmate that every adult has at least one big secret and that it is easy to blackmail them by saying: I know the whole truth.
When the boy comes home he decides to test this, so he goes to his mother and says: I know the whole truth.
The mother gives him $20 and says: Take this and go just don't tell your father anything.
Next, the boy goes to his father and says: I know the whole truth.
The father gives his son $40 and says: Take this and go just don't tell your mother anything.
The next day on the way to school the boy sees the mailman and says to him: I know the whole truth.
The mailman responds: Then come give your daddy a big hug!
I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?"
I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."
I was watching Star Wars in English Class
And a classmate says "metaphors be with you"
My classmates and I used to argue all the time about the plural form of the word for female sex cells.
We'd go on and on and waste a lot of time in class, but finally it was resolved. Honestly, I'm glad it's ova.
Halal meat
I see that in the US they're complaining about halal meat. They want their meat to be killed the American way... but, honestly, what are the chances of a cow enrolling in high school and being shot by a classmate?
A guy was watching TV in Moscow, and the weather forecaster says that it's -35C (-31F) in Irkutsk, Siberia.
The guy is impressed, and he remembers that he had a classmate who moved to Irkutsk. So he finds his number and calls him. "Hey, how are you doing? I heard you have really terrible temperature in Irkutsk, right?" "No, why, we have, like, -5C (23F) here", replies his friend. "Oh, and the weather forecaster says that you have -35!" "Ah, it's probably outside", friend replies.
Before I begin today's lecture
I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: Syphilis and its complications.
I want to make a film about a group of friends dealing with their classmate becoming a pop star.
Britney's Peers
The wonderful world of Ironi
"Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought 'how typical' than looked down at my El Pollo Loco" - Hispanic colleague
I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World...
I said "Wow, it's a small world!"
She said, "actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."
My classmate was complaining that the only friend she had through her childhood was an imaginary friend...
I told her to rotate it 90 degrees.
You can explore classmate school reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean classmate friend dad jokes. There are also classmate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I caught a little boy in my class pass this note to his classmate today
"I124Q baby"
*cringe*
He was smoking and talking to his old classmate online.
She asked, why he was typing so slow, and he said, because my other hand isn't free.
She is not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt.
Twelve-year-old Timmy was talking with his classmate, Lisa...
Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."
Why couldn't the Lutheran math student steal the answers from his classmate?
According to 7th commandment, it was considered an ✓((1/2 i e^(-i x) - 1/2 i e^(i x))^2 )...
Hospital and Cop
*In class*
Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"
Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."
Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"
Jay: "Yes, please."
After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and his mother at the hospital?"
Classmate: "Because his father is a policeman and his mom's a nurse."
Slow typing...
After 25 years... I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I said because my other hand isn't free.
She's not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt
-Never smoke while texting..
i watched my classmate murder our professor with a calculator
it was graphic
So my classmate asked why I have two laptops...
I replied: "One is for work, the other is a macbook"
My classmate always got mad at me for copying his homework because "I wasn't learning anything."
Joke's on him, though. I just became a monk.
My classmates got in trouble for doing this thing to make fun of me for being blind
I can't see why this is so offensive
A classmate asked me if pears grow in America.
I told her to grow a pair and find out.
I found out Santa wasn't real when my classmate told me that he's just my dad.
Because my dad isn't real either.
My classmate just told our 60+ year old teacher
that she is like wine, better with age.
Waiting to do an exam, classmate asked "Hey buddy, do you have another pen?"
I said: "Why do I need two pens?"
My classmates call me racist all the time...
But I don't believe them because black people are stupid.
My girl classmate complimented me on my looks ar school today
Then I remembered it was the first of April
There was such a relief when our classmate pointed his AR-15 on us.
It was just a robbery.
A teacher once told me...
True story:
Remember that 'Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me' bullshit??
Well, in Year 4, I heard my teacher say this to another classmate. I raised my hand and said 'Miss, I don't think that's right.'
My teacher asked me why I thought so. So, I threw a dictionary at her.
Classmate: Why is that watet called 'smart' water?
Me: Because it's 70 percent like me. If it was 100 percent like me It would be called brilliant water (and also would be a lot grosser)
This halloween a classmate dressed up as a stormtrooper and shot up the school.
There were no casualties though.
A classmate was making repetitive screeching noises in class on October 31
I asked her what she was doing, and she said it was her verbal Halloween costume for the blind.
When your classmates are laughing at your 9 centimetre
But they haven't seen your 9mm yet
My classmates admire me because I do not believe the earth is round.
It is quite flattering.
Jim was out shopping with his young daughter and ran into an old college classmate.
"This is Beth," Jim said proudly, introducing his kid.
"And what's Beth short for?" The friend asked.
Puzzled, he replied,"Because she's only three!
I had a classmate who slept with our professor for an "A"
She technically still got a "D"
My classmates think the math teacher is mean.
I think he's just average.
A freshman is talking to the new girl in school. You'll like it here, he tells her. Everyone is pretty chill, the teachers are all nice, but the principal is kind of a moron.
Do you know who I am? the girl asks her new classmate. I'm the daughter of the principal.
The boy is silent and then asks her, Do you know who I am?
She shakes her head no. Good, says the boy as he walks away.
Little Johnny took a leak with his classmate in the school loo.
His classmate noticed that after peeing, Johnny didn't wash his hands. He then proceeded to ask:
"Johnny, why do you not wash your hands after peeing?"
"Is there a need to do so?"
"Yes! My mum taught me to wash after peeing, to wash off pee in my hands."
"Well, I think your mom is stupid for that matter."
"How come, Johnny?"
"My mum never taught me to pee on my hands!"
My classmates laugh at my jokes in in-person classes, but never in online classes.
When I asked them why, they told me that my jokes weren't remotely funny.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the classmate arithmetic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working classmate schoolgirl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.