Following is our collection of school puns and sissy one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Classmate jokes for adults, dirty friend jokes and clean housemate dad gags for kids.
I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."
it was graphic
After 25 years... I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I said because my other hand isn't free.
She's not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt
-Never smoke while texting..
I think he's just average.
"This is Beth," Jim said proudly, introducing his kid.
"And what's Beth short for?" The friend asked.
Puzzled, he replied,"Because she's only three!
*In class*
Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"
Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."
Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"
Jay: "Yes, please."
After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and his mother at the hospital?"
Classmate: "Because his father is a policeman and his mom's a nurse."
The guy is impressed, and he remembers that he had a classmate who moved to Irkutsk. So he finds his number and calls him. "Hey, how are you doing? I heard you have really terrible temperature in Irkutsk, right?" "No, why, we have, like, -5C (23F) here", replies his friend. "Oh, and the weather forecaster says that you have -35!" "Ah, it's probably outside", friend replies.
But I don't believe them because black people are stupid.
Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."
I said "Wow, it's a small world!"
She said, "actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."
And a classmate says "metaphors be with you"
I replied: "One is for work, the other is a macbook"
She technically still got a "D"
True story:
Remember that 'Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me' bullshit??
Well, in Year 4, I heard my teacher say this to another classmate. I raised my hand and said 'Miss, I don't think that's right.'
My teacher asked me why I thought so. So, I threw a dictionary at her.
I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: Syphilis and its complications.
I told her to grow a pair and find out.
I see that in the US they're complaining about halal meat. They want their meat to be killed the American way... but, honestly, what are the chances of a cow enrolling in high school and being shot by a classmate?
Then I remembered it was the first of April
According to 7th commandment, it was considered an ✓((1/2 i e^(-i x) - 1/2 i e^(i x))^2 )...
It is quite flattering.
I can't see why this is so offensive
Joke's on him, though. I just became a monk.
We'd go on and on and waste a lot of time in class, but finally it was resolved. Honestly, I'm glad it's ova.
I said: "Why do I need two pens?"
She asked, why he was typing so slow, and he said, because my other hand isn't free.
She is not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt.
"Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought 'how typical' than looked down at my El Pollo Loco" - Hispanic colleague
"I124Q baby"
*cringe*
Britney's Peers
But they haven't seen your 9mm yet
I asked her what she was doing, and she said it was her verbal Halloween costume for the blind.
There were no casualties though.
Me: Because it's 70 percent like me. If it was 100 percent like me It would be called brilliant water (and also would be a lot grosser)
It was just a robbery.
that she is like wine, better with age.
Because my dad isn't real either.
I told her to rotate it 90 degrees.
There is an abundance of arithmetic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 36 funniest jokes and classmate puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any schoolgirl witze you can hear about classmate.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.