The Best 83 Classical Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Classical jokes. There are some classical debussy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these classical clarinet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Classical Jokes and Puns

Why did everyone hate the classical composer's music

Everyone thought he had some sheet music

Who was the most hated classical musician?

Nickelbach.

Arnold Scwharzanegger gets a call from his agent about a feature length film based around classical music. When asked which character he'd most like to play,

'I'll be Bach'.

Classical joke, Arnold Scwharzanegger gets a call from his agent about a feature length film based around classical

I was going to buy some classical CDs...

But it turns out I'm baroque.

Which classical composer is best at playing hide and seek?

Haydn. [OC]


They're making a movie about classical music composers...

They're making a movie about classical music composers. In the middle of the auditions, Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in and simply declared, "I'll be Bach."

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

Classical joke, Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

Steven Spielberg has a new idea for a movie

He says he wants to make an action movie about classical music composers.

Sylvester Stallone says "I wana be Motzart!"

Arnold Schwarzenegger says "In zat case...I'll be Bach"

Did you hear the new classical piece of music commissioned by the church?

It's called "I slipped and fell in A minor".

What type of classical music do chickens like best?

Bach.

So I was listening to classical music really loudly the other day when suddenly...

My speakers Baroque.

You can explore classical orchestra reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean classical tunes dad jokes. There are also classical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Symphony of puns

i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music...
Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble!

What is a pedophile's favorite type of classical music?

Anything in A Minor

I brought a classical musician back from the past to prove that my time-machine works, but I can't find him.

He must be Haydn.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?

"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."

Relativity theory

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

Classical joke, Relativity theory

What do classical musicians write before going shopping?

A Chopin Lizst

(shopping list)

I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer...

Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for.

Did you hear about the chicken who liked classical music?

I swear it was all he talked about. He would go on and on. "Bach, Bach, Bach"!


What do you call an unemployed classical musician?

Baroque

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar

After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers

Sylvester says "I wanna be Mozart!"

Arnold says "in that case...I'll be Bach"

My wife wants to have the baby listen to classical music while in the womb.

Would an ipod nano or shuffle be easier to get up there?

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers...

They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play.

Sean Connery says "I would shertainly like to play Moshart."

Sylvester Stallone says "Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."

And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says "I'll be Bach."

What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano?

Baklava.

(It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.

"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.

"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.

"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

A German boy band that plays some insane classical stuff.

Bachstreet Boys

Classical pun

Why have they not found Mozart's body yet?

Because he is Haydn.

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 

Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 

Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

Two classical musicians had sex for the first time together.

Woman: "That's a pretty small organ you're playing down there."

Man: "Well, I didn't know I would be performing in Carnegie Hall tonight."

Killer Whales like classical music so much...

That they form Orcastras.

I used to only listen to classical music...

...but now I think outside of the Bachs.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."

Why do muslims love classical music?

It has lots of violins

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party?

I'll be Bach.

I went to buy some classical music today...

But I forgot my Chopin Liszt.

Why do black people not like Classical music?

Because they have to sit in the Bach of the concert hall.

What did the classical-only DJ say?

If it ain't baroque, don't mix it.

How do you threaten a fan of classical music?

You tell him to watch his bach.

I'm pretty sure chickens love classical music

All I hear from them is "bach bach bach bach bach"

Did you hear about the classical musician who couldn't find work?

He was Baroque.

Why classical music is not recommended for young people?

Because it contains sax and violins

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, and Bruce Willis said they wanted to star in a movie about classical musicians.

Bruce Willis said I'll play Mozart!

Tom Cruise said I'll play Beethoven!

Arnold said I'll be Bach

I don't want to hear any more classical Christmas music

I seriously can't handel it.

My wife dragged me to a classical concert.

Me: I hope this concert has a lot of ado.

Her: Huh?

MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....

Me: F*ck.

Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a call from his agent...

Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.

"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"

"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."

Stallone, Van Damme and Schwarzenegger decide to collaborate on a movie about classical composers.

"I'll be Beethoven" says Stallone.

Van Damne says "OK, I'll be Mozart".

Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"

The secret to Pavlov's hair?

Just a classical conditioner.

(I hope the name rings a bell)

What do you call someone lathering in the shower and singing along to Classical Music?

A soap opera

Alternate dimensions joke

A man learns how to go into alternate dimensions where he can become other people. He says "This is awesome, I've always wanted to be Arnold Schwarzenegger acting in the Terminator films, but I've also always wanted to compose classical music. So first, I'll be Bach"

I had to pay for everything when I went out with a couple classical musicians

they were completely baroque.

Vincent: hey what classical concert are you going to and why are you wearing that fancy cologne?

Me: to Bait hoe, Vin.

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me.

She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

I've been listening to classical music too loud and now my ears hurt.

I'm having some pretty bad Bach pains.

What do you call two classical musicians ending their relationship?

They baroque up

What do you call a microorganism that listens to Classical music?

Bach-teria

Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him in hopes that it would be enough to stop him from dressing up as classical composers for halloween.

But deep down, she still knew that he'd be bach.

I kinda stole this

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none

⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"

What is a classical singer's big break?

An opera-tunity.

Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing .

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

Classical joke

I remember once in pre-virus times, I was standing in a fairly long line for a classical music concert. A dude on a skateboard rode up to me and asked what's all the excitement about? Who's playing? I told him Yo-Yo Ma. And he punched me in the face!

What do you call a classical writer with Parkinson's and a drinking problem?

Shakesbeer.

One for the classical music fans [OC]

For those who aren't, Herbert von Karajan was an acclaimed symphony conductor in the 20th century. You need to know that his name is pronounced approximately "KAHRY-on."

Not many people know it, but the maestro actually had a second career outside of music, he was a successful luggage designer.

I mean, surely you've heard of...Karajan Luggage?

They say classical music was written to speak through the ages

Bach to the future.

What do classical pianists use to remember their groceries?

A Chopin Liszt.

In honor of Father's day, a dad joke

There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.

He'll be Bach

Why don't film soundtracks use jazz and classical?

Too much sax and violins.

Who is a Boston Terrier's favorite classical composer?

Bach

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"

"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."

"And how do you know that's what they like?"

"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

Action hero fancy dress ball...

Arnold Schwarznegger, Sly Stallone & Chuck Norris are invited to a ball where they must all go in fancy dress.

They decide to go as classical composers, so they head to the store to buy their costumes for the ball.

When in the store, Sly says: 'I'll dress as Mozart'

Chuck Says: 'I'll go as Beethoven'

Arnie says: 'I'll be Bach'

My client is very particular about which classical albums she wants me to restore...

If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.

A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.

'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'

A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says I'll play the part of Mozart
Liam Neeson says I'll make a great Beethoven
Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach

Classical joke for Christmas period.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.

He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"

The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians

.

One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."

Another says, "I'll be Mozart."

-

In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

So I have this chicken that listens to nothing but classical music...

All she wants is Bach Bach Bach .


That is all.

I bought A LOT of classical music yesterday...

...I went on a Chopin spree!

Who's a lumberjack's favorite classical composer?

Chopin.

I've been trained to apply something to my head after shampoo...

It's classical conditioning.

Mama and Papa did not let me listen to classical or jazz music as a kid.

Too much sax and violins, apparently.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the classical decomposer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working classical blues piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes