classes Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious classes puns

What math classes do gender studies majors take?

Triggernometry

👍🏼

A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."

👍🏼

My wife reckons that recently I have become an awkward, arrogant cunt, and she just can't understand me.



Seems like my French classes are going really well.

👍🏼

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

👍🏼

Why do special Ed classes always start late

Because everyone is a little tardy.

👍🏼

Why are Communists bad Java programmers?

They don't like classes.

👍🏼

A Texan got accepted to Harvard

A week before classes started, he decided to tour the campus to see where everything was. After a while he got lost, so he went up to a professor and asked "Do you know where the library's at?"

The professor replies, "Sorry, here at Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions."

After a few seconds of thinking, the Texan asks, "Where's the library at, asshole?"

👍🏼

Why don't communists ever learn?

Because there are no classes.

👍🏼

I used to cut and burn myself.

Then I took culinary classes.

👍🏼

I started stealing cutlery from my cooking classes

It was a whisk I was willing to take

👍🏼

Why can't Communists be programmers?

Because there is a hierarchy of classes, inheritance, and private properties

👍🏼

Original joke that actually happened in real life. Slightly dirty.

My wife is planning a day of debauchery for a friend, otherwise known as a bachlorette party. A pole dancing class is going to be part of the festivities and the warning on the website is "Classes are not suitable for pregnant women who have never poled before." My response to this being read aloud during the planning "Wait, then how did they get pregnant?"

👍🏼

Single airline stewardesses are very lucky...

for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes.

👍🏼

Donald Trump was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word tragedy . So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a tragedy .

One little boy stood up and offered: If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.

No, said Trump, that would be an accident

A little girl raised her hand: If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.

I'm afraid not, explained the president. That's what we would call great loss.

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Trump searched the room. Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand...

In a quiet voice he said: If 'Air Force One' was carrying you and was struck by a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

Fantastic! exclaimed Trump. That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?

Well, said the boy, It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either .

👍🏼

I used to go to communism classes.

I never really got good Marx.

👍🏼

The Polite Way to Pee 

a friend sent this to me on whatsapp today.

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" 

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' 

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 😶

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. 

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? 

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' 

The teacher fainted...

👍🏼

I got kicked out of my gym in the middle of kickboxing class

Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes.

👍🏼

Karl Marx College is a total scam

there aren't even any classes!

👍🏼

Proper Manners

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'"

👍🏼

Catholic School

Little Timmy's parents were at a conference with his teachers. Most of his classes were going very well except he seemed to be struggling in math, so they tried and tried to get him the help he needed but nothing seemed to catch on. Eventually his parents decided to put him in a different school all together. A catholic school.
A few months went by and his parents decided to have another conference with his teachers to see how he was doing. And to their surprise he was excelling in all of his classes, especially Math! They were stunned and a little confused. So they went to ask Little Timmy for the reason behind all of it. And he says "The first day I got there I saw some guy nailed to a plus sign, so I figured they take that shit seriously!"

👍🏼

What's logic?

I redneck was walking by his local community college and sees a sign out front that says, logic classes. Interested, he goes inside, finds the professor and starts up a conversation.

"So what is logic anyways?"

"Let me explain it to you this way," the professor says eagerly, "Do you own a weed whacker?"

"Yes I do," the redneck replies.

"Well then logically, you must own a yard, correct?"

"Yes, I certainly do!"

"Well, logically if you have a yard, you own a house? And if you have a house, you must have a family."

"By God, that's all right."

"Then logically if you have a family, you must be a heterosexual."

"Absolutely right, wow that's some incredible stuff!"

So the redneck leaves and heads to the bar where he excitedly tells his friend about his encounter and logic lesson. But his friend is having trouble understanding and asks him, "So what is logic?"

The redneck says, "Let me explain it to you this way: do you own a weed whacker?"

"No."

"Then you're a faggot."

👍🏼

A Calculus joke

Verbatim from what my professor just showed in one of my engineering classes:

e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers, "That's a differential operator. If it acts on me, I'll disappear." e^x says "I'm e^x, I don't have anything to worry about," and keeps walking. When he reaches the differential operator, he says "Hi, I'm e^x."

The differential operator responds, "Hi, I'm d/dy."

👍🏼

Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way, Jimmy do you own a lawnmower?"
"Why yes I do"
"Ok, that must mean you've got a yard"
"Yup"
"If you've got a yard, then you must have a house"
"Sure do"
"And if you've got a house, you probably have kids"
"Three of them!"
"Wow, then you must be a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife at home"
"Yes, yes! This logic thing is pretty cool, sign me up!"
Later that day Jimmy goes home and sees his neighbor Gary and tells Gary about his new college course. Gary says "logic? What's that?"
"Well let me explain it like this", says Jimmy. "Do you own a lawnmower Gary?"
"No, I always borrow yours"
"Well then you must be a homosexual!"

👍🏼

Why don't they have driving classes and sex Ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia?

Because the camels can't handle it

👍🏼

Dirty professor

A professor at a local community college is known for telling a dirty joke to start every class. Of course, the ladies in his classes don't appreciate it and a lot of them get together one weekend and decide to stage a walkout next time it happens. The professor catches wind of this plan.

Monday morning rolls around and the professor stands up in front of the class. He starts "Have you heard there's a shortage of whores in India?" The ladies stand up to walk out. "Hold on, girls" he says, "the boat's not leaving yet!"

👍🏼

Career Change

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skill-ful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist
prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had
obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart
perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You then put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I've never seen done in my entire career".

👍🏼

I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups.

Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.

👍🏼

My mother died two weeks ago and my son hasn't attended English classes since.

I think he's missing gramma.

👍🏼

My brother, the jackass, and the theoretical blind kid.

My brother came home from middle school one day and I could tell he was very upset. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that between classes he stopped in the restroom to take a piss and he set his brand new binder on the counter next to the sink before doing his business. Some asshole kid came in, knocked his binder in the garbage can and proceeded to piss in said can.

Amazed at how someone would do something like this I asked my brother "What did you do?"
Still upset and with tears in his eyes my brother said "What could I do?"
"I would have beat the little fuckers ass!" I told him.
"But what if he was blind?" My brother asked.
Without pausing a moment I responded with "I would have gotten away with it."

👍🏼

I took levitation classes once

But I dropped out

👍🏼

I recently signed up for reverse-origami classes.

It'll be interesting to see how it unfolds.

👍🏼

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis and takes night classes to become a mechanic...

She's really nervous the night of the final, so she studies real hard and hopes for the best.

When the grades are posted, she freaks out because her grade says 150% and she assumes it was an error, so she goes to see the instructor.

He explains it's no error.

"You took apart the engine perfectly, every nut, every bolt. You pulled it all apart without breaking anything. That got you 50%
Then you put it all back together perfectly. It actually ran better than before you started, so I gave you 50% for that.
You got a bonus 50% for doing it all through the muffler."

👍🏼

A man walked into a communist school...

only to find that they had no classes.

👍🏼

A young computer science student is on the phone with his father...

His father says: "so how have your classes been going?"

The son replies: "not bad. I did really well on my test on hexadecimal today! It was only worth fifteen points, but I'm still happy about it."

"Oh yeah? What grade did you get?"

"An F!"

👍🏼

All music classes were banned at my school...

They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins...

👍🏼

What are the most funny Classes jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Classes? Well, here are the best Classes dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Classes pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes