class Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious class puns

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

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I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...


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What gets bigger the more you take from it?

The lower class.

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You know you're a 90s kid when...

your vaccinations were mandatory and no one in your class got measles.

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Sir, your son was smoking marijuana at school during the class!

Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.

-- Did he say where he got it?

-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.


The father, cleaning his tears:

-- Did he really say that?

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten.

"1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

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C and C++ walk into a bar...

After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"

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A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."

One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

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Hey baby are you a Communist?

Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.

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A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"

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Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down they want some too

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My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl in his class jerk him off...

I said son that's 4 schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you

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A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

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I got voted "Least Likely To Succeed" by my high school class...

Fuck, I hate being a teacher.

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A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.

"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.

"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

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Osama Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...

He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"

"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."

"Why, what did you answer?"

"The Empire State Building."

"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."

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My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said,"Son that's three schools this year.

Maybe teaching isn't for you."

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My son got thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class jack him off...

I said "Son, That's three schools this year...maybe teaching is not for you"

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My son was thrown out of school for the third time this year for letting a girl in his class jerk him off

Im starting to think that maybe teaching isn't for him.

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Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)

Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth

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I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

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I used to smoke weed and go to class...

Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.

I was the best teacher ever.

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Worms

Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:

1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

The 1st worm in beer, dead.

The 2nd in wine, dead.

The 3rd in whiskey, dead.

The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks the class:

- What do we learn from this experience?

And a child responds:

- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.

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I think I'm failing my marine biology class

My grade is below C level.

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A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.

"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.

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Double Positives.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

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My son was kicked out of school for letting a girl in his class jerk him off. I said, "Son, that's the third school this year..."

"Maybe teaching isn't for you."

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A mother is scolding her son

\- Your teacher called me today. He told me you said the c word in class. Is that true?

\- Yes, mom.

\- That wasn't clever now, was it?

\- Nah mom, it was cunt.

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In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..

..so I failed her!

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A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?

One student raises their hand,

The cheetah is faster dandelion.

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So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

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On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

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I was voted Least likely to Suceed by my high school class.

I hate being a teacher.

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I met my wife in an African Languages class.

We just clicked.

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A hot schoolgirl is dangerously close to flunking class...

...so she tells the teacher : "I'd do anything for a good grade". The teacher whispers into her ear : "Anything ?" She replies : "Yes, anything". With a seductive smile he says : "Well then, sit down and start studying, you lazy fuck!"

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What are the most funny Class jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Class? Well, here are the best Class dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Class pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes