We do it in schools, because we have class.
The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"
Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...
The lower class.
your vaccinations were mandatory and no one in your class got measles.
Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.
-- Did he say where he got it?
-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.
The father, cleaning his tears:
-- Did he really say that?
"1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"
One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.
"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.
"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."
Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down they want some too
I said son that's 4 schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."
Fuck, I hate being a teacher.
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"
"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."
"Why, what did you answer?"
"The Empire State Building."
"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."
Maybe teaching isn't for you."
I said "Son, That's three schools this year...maybe teaching is not for you"
Im starting to think that maybe teaching isn't for him.
Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth
But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.
Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.
I was the best teacher ever.
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
My grade is below C level.
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
"Maybe teaching isn't for you."
\- Your teacher called me today. He told me you said the c word in class. Is that true?
\- Yes, mom.
\- That wasn't clever now, was it?
\- Nah mom, it was cunt.
..so I failed her!
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
I hate being a teacher.
We just clicked.
...so she tells the teacher : "I'd do anything for a good grade". The teacher whispers into her ear : "Anything ?" She replies : "Yes, anything". With a seductive smile he says : "Well then, sit down and start studying, you lazy fuck!"
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Class? Well, here are the best Class dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Class pick up lines to share with friends.