The Best 28 Clairvoyant Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Clairvoyant jokes. There are some clairvoyant esp jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these clairvoyant bulletin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Clairvoyant Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the albino clairvoyant master hypnotist from San Francisco?

He was a super pallid Cali mystic, expert at hypnosis.

(Today I had wanted to tell someone the Gandhi joke I read on here the other day, but I couldn't remember it so I made this up and thought I may as well share it even though it's purely derivative.)

Why could the petit clairvoyant never find a dress that fits?

Everyone thought she was a medium

Why are clairvoyants called mediums?

Because they're not rare or well done.

Clairvoyant joke, Why are clairvoyants called mediums?

What would u call a clairvoyant midget who escaped prison?

A small medium at large.

What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf who's just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.


I punched a clairvoyant who was laughing at me once.

I like to strike a happy medium

I saw a clairvoyant laughing, so I hit them.

I always like to strike a happy medium.

Clairvoyant joke, I saw a clairvoyant laughing, so I hit them.

what do you call a clairvoyant midget evading police custody

a small medium at large

A clairvoyant dwarf escaped from prison...

please be on the lookout for a small medium at large.

Keep your clairvoyant chipper [OC unless I accidentally stole this]

When I was a single man, I dated a series of psychics. For the first date, I brought a dozen long stem roses, and she said it was too much, and was angry. So for the second psychic, I brought nothing, and she too was offended. For the third psychic, I settled for a single rose, and I finally found a happy medium. (But in the end it didn't work out, she said she couldn't see a future together.)

Did you hear about the clairvoyant midget that escaped from jail?

He's a small medium at large.

You can explore clairvoyant millenia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean clairvoyant telepathy dad jokes. There are also clairvoyant puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf that's on the run?

A small medium at large

The clairvoyant and her boyfriend got engaged after only two dates.

It was love at second sight, they said.

A 9/11 widow, a black slave, a jew who survived Auschwitz and a clairvoyant walk in to the Challenger Spacecraft

"I don't like where this joke is going" says the clairvoyant

Netflix the clairvoyant!

Donald Trump is raking in the votes and winning primaries like we haven't seen since 2008 when Obama started his sweep of the nation.

Which proves that Netflix was right all along...

Orange is the new Black.

The personal assistant enters Stalin's office to announce to him: "Comrade Stalin, a clairvoyant is waiting outside demanding an audience with you. He says that he is able to foresee the future."

Stalin, still bent over the table, calmly replies: "He shall be executed. If he really foresaw the future, he would never want to meet me."

Clairvoyant joke, The personal assistant enters Stalin's office to announce to him: "Comrade Stalin, a clairvoyant is

After being found guilty of massive tax fraud and sentenced to 30 years in prison, a world renowned clairvoyant used his short stature to escape and is currently on the run from authorities.

The headlines read 'Small Medium at Large'

I met a clairvoyant botanist the other day

She could see the fuschia

I visited a dyslexic Christian clairvoyant today...

She read my Psalm


What do you call a short clairvoyant person who just broke out of prison?

A small medium at large.

What do you call a girl ant who claims she can see the future ....

.... clairvoyant

In a rare moment of forethought, the clairvoyant transcended

...and reached fivethought

An angry clairvoyant got drunk in a bar and started a fight.

Police have arrested a mean medium, mowed.

As I was being seated for lunch at a place I commonly go, the waitress knew what I was going to order.

I said "you must be clairvoyant", to which she replied "no, my name is Jenna".

According to the news, there's a clairvoyant bank robber with dwarfism on the loose in my hometown.

They said to keep an eye-out for a Small Medium at Large.

Y'all hear the one about the clairvoyant midget that escaped from prison?

The police are searching for a small medium at large.

A clairvoyant

A clairvoyant dwarf escaped Maidstone prison this week
Police are looking for a small medium at large!

Did you hear about the short Clairvoyant on the run?

It was all over the papers: Small Medium, at Large!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the clairvoyant conjugal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working clairvoyant forecaster piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes