Civilization Jokes

Following is our collection of civilisation puns and culture one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Civilization jokes for adults, dirty indigenous jokes and clean villages dad gags for kids.

The Best Civilization Puns

So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.

"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."

"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."

The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.

The Arabs invented a time machine.

It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.

What do you call a mediocre civilization?

A So-society.

Someone asked Ghandi what he thought about Western Civilization

He thought it could be a really good idea

Three people had their car break down in the middle of the desert...

They each decided to carry something useful from their car and walk until they found civilization. The first person said I will carry these sandwiches, so if we get hungry we can eat them. The second person said I will take these water bottles, so if we get thirsty we have something to drink. The third person said I will take the car door, so if we get hot we can roll down the window.

A blonde, a ginger and a brunette are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from any other land...

Thinking they have nothing to lose, they decide to each try swimming back to civilization. The ginger goes first, but she can only swim 5 miles before she has to turn back. The brunette goes next, and she manages 25 miles, but she too becomes too tired and turns back. Finally, the blonde goes. She manages 50 miles, but becomes too tired and swims back to the island.

A civilization of sentient deer may sound interesting

But I get the strange feeling that they'd make no progress in advancing their own culture once they come into contact with humans.

I guess that's what happens when you encounter Stagnation

Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber.

It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization.

Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999

Because back then the worst thing I had to worry about was just a computer glitch destroying civilization.

I spent three days in the jungle with nothing to eat apart from raw caterpillars I remember the moment I walked back into civilization....

They were a few butterflies in my stomach I could tell you.

Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI

So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or ...?

Stephen Hawking says we only have 1000 more years left as a civilization

He's just mad that we haven't figured out how to get him out of that wheelchair by now

I've heard that civilization first started in the Middle East

I guess easy come easy go

Great idea

Journalist: What do you think of western civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a great idea!

I bought a gun and a box of bullets just in case civilization collapses. I may not survive the apocalypse...

But I'll be damned if my ex is going to.

What ancient civilization had the best tattoos?

The Ink-ans

Girl, are you an iron-bearing ore?

Because when I smelt you, I got taken to a whole other level of civilization..

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stuck on an island.

There were three people stranded on an island that was about 10 miles away from civilization after a couple of days they had eaten up and drank all of there supply's so they decided that they should try and swim to civilization first the brunette tries she gets 7 miles out then she drowns and dies the redhead only gets to about 3 miles she then drowns and dies then the blonde gets to about 5 miles says I'm tired and swims back the island

What do you guys think of American civilization?

Personally I think it would be a great idea.

A friend asked me: If you can time travel to the 90s, what technology would you bring with yourself to show the advancement of human civilization.

I told him my Ti-84

The planet would be a better place if people would just be who they truly are.

Human civilization would collapse within a week...

A politician in an ancient civilization...

He'll only just babble on.

Whats the difference between an anthropologist and a sociologist?

Anthropologists hate Western Civilization. Sociologists only hate America.

What civilization does lettuce come from?

The Romain-es

I became a Republican when

I found out that you can win Civilization 6 through religion only.

Why does Middle Eastern civilization have no major accomplishments?

It's too sunni for physical labour and everyone has shi'ite for brains.

What is cute and furry but would chew your face off and likely cause the end of civilization as we know it?

Zombie Alpaca Lips

There is an abundance of societies jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes and civilization puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any millennia witze you can hear about civilization.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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