The Best 13 Civilian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Civilian jokes. There are some civilian casualties jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these civilian soldier puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Civilian Jokes and Puns

Why does the military only allow dress shirts at its ceremonies?

Because civilian casual tees are unacceptable.

where did the civilians go during the bombing?


A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.

"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.

The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."

"Sir, the police doesn't have balls.", the officer says.

There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.

Civilian joke, A police officer pulls a man over

A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...

**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.

**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!

**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

Network administrator

A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.

After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"

"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."

The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.

"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"

A police officer shoots and kills an unarmed civilian

The officer is immediately arrested and eventually found guilty

Civilian joke, A police officer shoots and kills an unarmed civilian

An officer accidentally hit a civilian

He was the first officer on the scene.

So everyone talking about Pro-Russian Separatists accidentally shooting down a civilian plane....

They sound like Amateur-Russian Separatists to me.


Civilian: Detective! There's been a robbery at my apartment!

Detective: What did they take?

Civilian: The TV, the music system, all the cash from my locker, the mini fridge, my most expensive bottle of champagne!

Detective: What was the point of entry?

Civilian: I guess they wanted to get rich

A civilian has taken control of the capital of South Korea...

...he's got Seoul, but he's not a soldier.

You can explore civilian dispatch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean civilian police dad jokes. There are also civilian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Biochemists at Chipotle have discovered a way to defeat ISIS militants without any civilian casualties

Free Burrito Bowls.

FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties

By adding a new definition for "botched" to urban dictionary; successful

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the civilian authorities jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working civilian military piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes