Civil Servant Jokes
8 civil servant jokes and hilarious civil servant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about civil servant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Civil Servant Jokes
What is a good civil servant joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Britain has invented a new missile
It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the civil servant?
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing?" "
Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.
"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"
Today someone told me this joke about the stereotype that we Swabians are stingy
A Swabian goes to the registry office and asks how he can change his name.
The civil servant asks him, why he needs the name change.
The Swabian answers: "I found a box full of business cards in the street yesterday."
An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill.
Who gets to keep it?
Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.
Did you hear about the math club's failed attempt to overthrow the government by gradually filling in vacant civil servant jobs with their members?
It was a pseudo-coup.
A mugger attacks a man in an alley, and demands all his money.
The man cries, "I'm a civil servant; I don't *have* any money!"
The mugger sneers, "Alright. Then give me all of *my* money."
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp.
(Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.)
Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out.
So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?"
The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!"
So the genie granted him his wish, and p**... the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!"
And p**..., he was there.
Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and p**... ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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