Civil Jokes

Funniest Civil Short Jokes

Short civil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The civil humour may include short civic jokes also.

1. I did an ancestry.com family history today and found out that my great grandfather helped rosa Parks initiate the civil rights movement He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
2. Civil War spoilers Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.
3. Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
   Mechanical engineers build weapons.
   Civil engineers build targets.
4. Just watched Captain America: Civil War for the first time Couldn't get enough, so I looked out of the window to watch America: Civil War.
5. Britain has invented a new missile It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
6. So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War... I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.
7. Sometimes I struggle to understand jokes about the Civil War. I just General Lee don't get them.
8. Today I learned about Harvey E. Brown, a civil war surgeon who had so many amputations he ran out of fake legs and had to use a shovel. It was a ground-breaking medical procedure.
9. A joke from Civil War History Class today Teacher asks: 'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'
   Student answers: 'A whip'
10. How are your parents? shouted Cromwell across the battlefield. And the king replied: They're very well, thank you. Isn't the weather nice for this time of year? It was civil war.

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Civil One Liners

Which civil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with civil? I can suggest the ones about urban and military.

1. Why did the French have so many civil wars? So they can win once in a while
2. Why did the Egyptian Civilization decline? It turned out to be a giant pyramid scheme.
3. Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War? He doesn't work well with Vision
4. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil Serpent
5. Civil war jokes are the worst I General Lee don't find them funny at all.
6. Why was Civil Disobedience such a good essay? Thoreau editing.
7. What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war? Morgan.
8. Even if I end up being a civil engineer I won't build tunnels. Because it's boring.
9. I can't believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war. That really bugs me.
10. [SPOILER] Ending of Civil War. Lincoln gets killed at the end.
11. What do you call a mediocre civilization? A So-society.
12. What civil rights leader sold the most sponges? Martin Loofa King
13. Everyone hated the egotistical civil engineer. He got too big for his bridges.
14. Warning! Civil War Spoilers! The Confederates lose
15. Civil War puns are the best And General Lee, they're easy to make.

Civil War Jokes

Here is a list of funny civil war jokes and even better civil war puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• You got to admit these civil war reenactments are getting more efficient Nowadays it only takes a couple hours for the confederacy to surrender
• I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall.
• We all know about the American Civil War... But the Canadian Civil War was resolved with a handshake and an apology... making it more civil than any war ever.
• Southerners can do pretty good civil war voice impressions.... General Lee speaking.
• What does Captain America and Spain have in common? A horrific Civil War
• What would a Dalek reincarnated as Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War say? Emancipate! Emancipate!
• No one likes me telling jokes about the Civil War... I always end up getting Stonewalled.
• Donald Trump doesn't believe there were any lynchings during the Civil War. When asked about it, He said it was just a case of Fake Noose
• Medical bills are expensive but let's take comfort that it isn't like the civil war era. Doctors would charge an arm and a leg back than
• Fan's of Marvel should be happy with the election results. Looks like you'll be getting a Civil War sequel much earlier than anticipated.

Civil Engineer Jokes

Here is a list of funny civil engineer jokes and even better civil engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The next time you meet someone who says they're a civil engineer, Tell them, "That's wonderful! Engineers are usually so rude!"
  [sorry, not useful unless you meet a lot of civil engineers]
• What's a civil engineer's favorite type of tea? Structural integri-tea
• I have a civil engineering joke... but it's still under construction.
• Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers. He lost his dam mind.
• My brother works as a part time civil engineer and part time relationship therapist He's an expert at building bridges
• It was very difficult to get my degree in civil engineering. But I built a bridge and got over it.
• I saw some people building a new bridge near me. Every lunch break they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins. It was very civil engineering.
• I failed my civil engineering exam today Apparently, "Mexicans" wasn't an appropriate answer to the question "What is commonly found behind walls?"
• Why did the mechanical engineer get kicked out of the club? It was all civil until he walked in.
• Traffic Two civil engineers were competing for a bid to do the road layout for a city. The engineer that lost accused the other of cheating, to which the winner said "Roundabouts are fair play".

Civil Rights Jokes

Here is a list of funny civil rights jokes and even better civil rights puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I don't understand why there's confusion arround the civil rights movement. It's a black and white issue.
• Everyone keeps talking about how Rosa Parks stood up for civil rights. I thought the whole point was that they DIDN'T stand up??
• What do you call a white civil rights activist? Talcum X
• A pirate is sitting at a bar... In walks in a civil rights activist, a communist, and a dog.
  The pirate says, "Well, today's my lucky day! X, Marx, and the Spot!"
• I'm a cop and I got caught choking the chicken in public I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations
• I heard Frankie Muniz is going to be playing a 1960's civil rights leader, in the upcoming film... 'Malcolm X in the Middle'.
• Finger Brutality is real against boogers It's a civil rights tissue
• If India was to break out into a civil war right now... It could technically be considered the Third World War.
• What do you call an alien civil rights activist? Martian Luther King jr.
• My grandfather was crucial to the American Civil Rights movement. If he hadn't had Rosa Parks arrested, it would have never taken off.

Civil Servant Jokes

Here is a list of funny civil servant jokes and even better civil servant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it? 
  Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.
• Did you hear about the math club's failed attempt to overthrow the government by gradually filling in vacant civil servant jobs with their members? It was a pseudo-coup.
• A mugger attacks a man in an alley, and demands all his money. The man cries, "I'm a civil servant; I don't *have* any money!"
  The mugger sneers, "Alright. Then give me all of *my* money."
• How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
  Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.

Civil Engineering Jokes

Here is a list of funny civil engineering jokes and even better civil engineering puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• [joke request] Civil engineering jokes, (Bridges, sewers, roads, engineers in general) What is the best joke you have related to Civil Engineering.
• What do you call a polite man who builds bridges? A civil engineer
• Why was the civil engineer's relationship so unstable? Because there was no truss left!
• What do you call a caveman building a road? An un-civil engineer

Hilarious Civil Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about civil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean construction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make civil pranks.