Civic Jokes

Following is our collection of civil puns and ride one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Civic jokes for adults, dirty petit jokes and clean municipal dad gags for kids.

The Best Civic Puns

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord

A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the civil servant?

"10" replies the girl.

"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"

"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec

"Doesn't that get confusing?" "

Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.

"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"

Three engineers are discussing what sort of god designed the human body.

The first says "god must be a mechanical engineer. Look at all these joints!"

The second says "nonsense! God must be an electrical engineer. The brain is made of millions of electrical connections!"

The third says "both of you are wrong! God must be a civic engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

My girlfriend tried to get me to have sex with her on the hood of her Honda Civic...

I told her if I was gonna have sex, it would have to be on my own Accord

I am thinking of buying a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.

It'll be my Civic duty.


My girlfriend keeps pressuring me...

My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic.

I told her, "No thanks, we'll do it on my own Accord."

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying…..

"I must have taken Leif off my census."

Civics teacher dropped this on us today.

Have you heard about the new Nasa program? They're fixing up one of their shuttles and sending some cows into space to study. It'll be the herd shot around the world!

My boyfriend wanted us to have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused.

If I'm ever going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer...

He calls his dealership the Civic Centre


I imported a Honda directly from Japan and was forced to pay a large tariff...

...that's OK though because it's my Civic duty.

Why did the citizen run for Sewer Commissioner?

He thought it was his civic doodie!

A 40 year old man goes to buy a car....

and all he can afford is a base model civic.

Did you hear about the Honda employee who was found not guilty?

It was the judge's Civic duty to let him leave on his own Accord

My wife begged me to get a Civic for the family.

But if I want to get a car, it will be on my own Accord.

What is the car that can behave?

Honda Civic

Need a dessert sex joke to say to my girlfriend and I feel like id miss a hugely funny opportunity if I didnt nailed this joke.

Your help will make 2 people's lives very funny for a moment and what could be better than that? Its your civic duty to help out. And i promise she wont be made uncomfortable we are currently in the middle of a dirty exchange so I would definitely know by now naw meen?

There is an abundance of citizen jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes and civic puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any corolla witze you can hear about civic.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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