Citrus Jokes

How much citrus does it take to kill a pirate?

None.

How many citrus fruits does it take to kill a pirate?

None.

What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit?

Lemonade.

I once knew a rapper who used cannabis infused citrus as chewing tobacco

He spat some dope limes

You know what I think of submissive citrus fruits.

They are sublime.

Why does the yogi always meditate under the citrus tree?

It's a sublime spot

Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn?

A lemon tree school

TIFU by getting kinky with a variety of citrus fruits...

Ive just tested positive for lemonaids.

Why you shouldn't have sexual intercourse with a citrus fruit....

You may contract lemonaids.

Instead of mistletoe, we should hang up green citrus fruits

so when you stand under them, you'll feel sublime.

Two promiscuous citrus fruits have unprotected sex

They get lemon-aids

Did you hear the one about the sexually promiscuous citrus fruit?

He got lemon aids.

I have pretty strong opinions about citrus

I find the taste of lemons to be quite sublime

A man in Kentucky mixed together sweet tea, citrus juice and bourbon at a party

You were expecting a punch line weren't you?

A citrus goes to the doctor

The citrus tells the doctor he's not feeling well.
The doctor says, of course not.
You have lime disease.

Courtesy of my 6 year old.
#wholesome

What do you get when you cross a citrus with batman

Orange justice

What do you call a citrus fruit underwater?

Limes are the best sour citrus fruit.

And lemons are absolutely sub-lime.