Circus Jokes

Following is our collection of clown puns and ringling one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circus jokes for adults, dirty acrobat jokes and clean contortionist dad gags for kids.

The Best Circus Puns

What is the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?[NSFW[

One is an array of cunning stunts and the other is an array of stunning c*nts

A dog walks into a bar

The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"

A horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"

The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"

"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse

"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"

The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"

What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?

A circus is a cunning array of stunts...

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"


A man goes up to the leader of a circus

A man goes up to the circus, and says to the leader of the circus "I can do great bird impressions." The leader of the circus says "That's nothing special, lots of people can do great bird impressions, so get out of here"
The man says "ok" and flies away.

I used to work at the circus

I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.

How do you kill an entire circus at once?

Go for the juggler.

Fifty clowns got fired from the circus.

Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.

What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

One is a display of cunning stunts.

The man at the circus.

A man is going to the circus to look for work. The man finds the manager in his caravan and asks him if he could get a job at the circus.

Oh, so you're looking to join the circus then? Tell me, what can you do?

I can mimic a bird, the man says proudly.

Hah, scoffs the manager, every single person at this circus can mimic a bird, even the slow stable boy, that's not anything we'd want here at this circus.

Oh well, says the man and flew out the window.


So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus...

The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"

A dog walks into a bar

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender "A pint of beer please." The bartender says "Wow that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog then replies "Why? Do they need electricians?"

A dog goes into a hardware store...

...and says: I'd like a job please . The hardware store owner says: We don't hire talking dogs, why don't you go join the circus? The dog replies: What would the circus want with a plumber .

-Steven Alan Green

He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had.

You seldom meet a man of his caliber.

What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs?

Irrelephant.

An elephant escaped from the circus...

...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.

"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."

"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.

"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"

I got a job at the circus.

I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.

A man looking for work

A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"


Why did the robber go to the circus?

To steal the show. This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)

A boy goes to the circus

and one of the sideshows is a tent that says "Man Who Remembers Everything." Intrigued, the boy goes inside and sees an old Native American man sitting on the ground. He approaches the man and asks, "If you remember everything, what did you have for breakfast exactly three weeks ago?"

Without hesitation, the man responds, "Eggs." The boy is sufficiently impressed and leaves to enjoy the rest of the circus.

Many years later, the boy has grown up, gotten married, and had children. One day he takes his family to the circus and is shocked to see the Man Who Remembers Everything is still there. He brings his family into the tent, and there is the same old man sitting on the ground.

Excited to see the old man again, he walks up and greets him, "How!"

The old man looks into his eyes and replies, "Scrambled."

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

What's the difference between a circus and a strip club?

You go to one to see cunning stunts...

A circus performer is pulled over for speeding.

As the officer is writing the ticket, he notices several machetes in the back seat of the car.

What are those for? he asks suspiciously.

I'm a juggler, the driver replies. I use those in my act.

Well, show me, the officer demands.

So the juggler gets out and starts juggling: one, two, three, four, and finally seven machetes at one time. He does overhand, underhand, and behind the back.

Another car passes by. The driver does a double take and says: My God, if that's the test they're giving now, I've got to give up drinking!

A pig that can speak French

A circus advertises a new act: a pig that can speak French. A trainer walks onto the stage carrying a small pig with a blue ribbon and a wooden mallet. The trainer asks, "Parlez-vous français?" and hits the pig with the mallet. The pig: "Ouiiii..."

The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season.

The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"

What's the difference between the Circus and the Playboy Mansion?

The Circus features a cunning array of stunts.

Bird Impressions

A man goes to the circus and tells the talent recruiter that he would like to apply for a position. The recruiter asks what his talents are, and the man replies that he does amazing bird impressions. The recruiter tells the man he's seen a million bird impressions and is not interested. The man says, "that's too bad" and flies away.

As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants...

The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

Do you know why, all around the world, parlaments' roof are built as a dome?

Have you ever seen a circus with a flat roof?

How do you kill a circus?

Aim for the juggler.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber?

A man goes to the circus

After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.

"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.

"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.

"Pssh, a lot of people can do that", says the manager.

"Oh well then", the man says and flies away.

A golden retriever walks into a bar

Stop reading if you heard this one before. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says "One beer, one shot, please."

The bartender says "Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!"

The goldie says "Why? Do they need an electrician?"

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.

Job interview for a circus

A man is having a job interview for a circus. The interviewer asks: "What's your ability?"

"I can imitate birds"

"Look, I'm sorry but this is not the kind of things we are looking for"

The guy answers: "Fine, fine, thanks anyway", then he opens the window and flies away.

Why should you never kill someone at the circus?

Because you'll be charged with murder within tent...

Why didn't the clown get the job at the circus?

He just wasn't It.

Say you're being attacked by a circus mob. What's the best strategy?

Go for the juggler.

Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was intense

My friend is an unemployed circus clown. We nicknamed him Pennywise.

His career is in the gutter.

You will never see a black clown at the circus...

Because they are busy picking cotton candy.

Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?

I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.

The Circus needed a new act...

there were 2 performers gunning for the opportunity: a beatiful woman and a man badly dressed.

The woman started her act, which was lion taming: she stripped stark naked, entered the lionΒ΄s cage, and made the beast postrate and lick her entire body, from head to toes.

The ringmaster was impressed, and asked the other performer:

"Can you do better than that?"

"Yes, and I dont even need to be whipped"

A horse walks into a bar

and says "bartender, one beer please!"

The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "Did.. did you just talk?!"

"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse

"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"

The horse replied "Why? Do they need a plumber?"

My friend Ricky works at the circus.

His job is circumcising elephants. Although he likes it, the wages are low but the tips are huge.

A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service.

When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, "No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."

The Moscow State Circus are sad to announce...

The passing of their Human Cannonball.
A spokesman said they hoped that one day they might be able to find a replacement, but aren't sure they'll ever find another man of his calibre.

What's the difference between a circus and a sorority?

The circus features a variety of Cunning Stunts ...

A Job Wanted

A dog walks into a job centre, goes up to the woman at the desk and says, 'Good afternoon, miss. I'm looking for work.'
The woman looks up, amazed, and says, 'Good heavens, a talking dog! Er... well, let's try the circus in town. I'll give them a ring.'
The dog says, 'The circus? What on earth would the circus do with a computer programmer?'

The dog says, "Gimme a beer."

The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"

A talking duck walks into a bar

He walks up and orders a shot of whiskey because he's depressed. The bartender looks at him gobsmacked because he's a talking duck and then asks why he's sad.
The duck says I just lost my job
The bartender replies well don't be sad I know just the perfect place you can apply. The circus has just pulled into town
The duck replies what would a circus want with a plasterer?

Did y'all hear about the circus fire this weekend?

Yeah, scary stuff... they say it was intents.

Did you hear about the protestors killing the circus?

They went straight for the juggler.

I heard the Ringling Circus is shutting down this year

I guess they didn't want to compete with the White House.

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire…

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?"

Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus?

He stole the show.

Why did the vampire join the circus?

To become an acrobat.

That's nothing

A father, mother and a small kid go to see a circus. There, among many animals the kid sees the elephant and its long thing hanging between his legs. The kid asks dad "What's that". Ashamed to answer, father says "Ask mother".
The kid asks mom, and she too is ashamed and says, "Oh, that's nothing". The kid goes back to father, and father asks, "What did mom say". Kid says she told "That's nothing".

Father replies sighing, "Yeah for your mother even that's nothing".

My wife applied for the bearded woman circus attraction

I explained the position requires her to be a woman

How do you make a flea circus?

From scratch.

My dad, grandad, great grandad and great great grandad were all circus clowns.

Not something I ever wanted to do. Their shoes were just too big to fill.

There is an abundance of acrobatics jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 64 funniest jokes and circus puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any zoo witze you can hear about circus.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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