Circus Jokes
180 circus jokes and hilarious circus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about circus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Who doesn't love a good laugh? Get your clown nose ready for these hilarious circus jokes. Read this article for some of the funniest circus jokes that involve clowns, circus acts, circus kids, Rockettes, tents and more. So don your clown costume and let's get this circus started!
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Funniest Circus Short Jokes
Short circus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The circus humour may include short carnival jokes also.
- A dog walks into a bar The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"
- A dog walks into a bar and says, a beer, please. The bartender says, wow, you should be in the circus. The dog says:
_Why!? Do they need electricians?_ - What's the difference between a sorority and a circus? A circus is a cunning array of stunts...
- I used to work at the circus I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.
The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge. - They say marriage is like a three-ring circus First, you get the engagement ring.
Then, you get the wedding ring.
And finally, you get suffering - So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus... The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"
- My circus hired what has to be the world's worst human cannon ball. Unfortunately he's unionised so we can't even fire him.
- When a serial killer goes to a circus, who do they go to kill first? They go for the Juggler
- In a tragic accident, the circus' human cannonball was killed today. When asked if he will find a replacement, the Ringmaster responded, "Where will I ever find another man of his caliber?"
- He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber.
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Circus One Liners
Which circus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with circus? I can suggest the ones about theatre and clown.
- How do you kill an entire circus at once? Go for the juggler.
- What's the quickest way to kill a Circus? Go straight for the Juggler....
- Fifty clowns got fired from the circus. Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.
- I circumcise elephants for the circus, the pay is lousy..... But the tips are enormous.
- What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs? Irrelephant.
- I used to work at the circus I was a human cannonball until they fired me.
- How do you build a flea circus? You have to start from scratch.
- I feel sorry for my circus friend, the human cannonball He just got fired
- How do you kill a circus? Aim for the juggler.
- A circus clown was having sex with his wife The judge agreed to a divorce
- Marriage is a three-ring circus. \- engagement ring
\- wedding ring
\- suffering - Why didn't the clown get the job at the circus? He just wasn't It.
- Say you're being attacked by a circus mob. What's the best strategy? Go for the juggler.
- Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense
- Did you hear about the protestors killing the circus? They went straight for the juggler.
Circus Clown Jokes
Here is a list of funny circus clown jokes and even better circus clown puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It's not true that air travel has become a circus. Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.
- My friend is an unemployed circus clown. We nicknamed him Pennywise. His career is in the gutter.
- You will never see a black clown at the circus... Because they are busy picking cotton candy.
- What's one unique thing about Trump's appearance in NYC this week? It's the only circus where an elephant is also the clown.
- "Look Dad! The clowns are leaving the circus to go get food!" "Son how many times do I have to tell you? Those are called *Senators* leaving the *Capitol*"
- My dad, grandad, great grandad and great great grandad were all circus clowns. Not something I ever wanted to do. Their shoes were just too big to fill.
- What's the difference between a circus and a brothel? Nothing, if you pay the clowns enough.
- Why don't the circus lions eat the clowns? They taste funny!
- A clown at the circus gave me some free popcorn. That was a very kind jester.
- Circus stocks are up Because the clowns sure are making a killing.
Circus Elephant Jokes
Here is a list of funny circus elephant jokes and even better circus elephant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got a job at the circus. I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.
- As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants... The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE
- My friend Ricky works at the circus. His job is circumcising elephants. Although he likes it, the wages are low but the tips are huge.
- I once had a job circus sizing elephants. The pay was lowsy, but the tips were huge!
- Two clowns were crying near the circus A passer-by asks them why are they crying.
"Well, the elephant has died"
"And you loved him so much?"
"No, but they've put us to dig his grave" - Why did the Elephant Man quit the circus? Because they were paying him peanuts!
Making my way out now... - I got a new job at the circus circumcising elephants... ...it doesn't pay well but the tips are huge.
- Why did the circus animals go on strike? The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.
- Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.
- I don't support elephants in the circus They are just too heavy.
Circus Performer Jokes
Here is a list of funny circus performer jokes and even better circus performer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber?
- What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch? 30 minutes.
- What do you do if you're Fighting a group of circus performers? Go for the juggler
- What's the difference between circus preformers and a brothel? What's the difference between professional circus performers and an upperclass brothel?
One is full of cunning stunts. - The difference between watching a three ring circus, and going to New York to watch a performance by the Rockettes. Well, when you watch a three ring circus, you witness a cunning array of stunts...
- Did you hear about the circus performance gone wrong? The lion tamer was mauled, it was in tents.
- What do you get when you cross a well endowed lady and a circus performer? A Juggler.
- I once had my very own flee circus It was pretty cool until all the performers left in the middle of the show :(
- Why did people laugh when the circus performer tripped on the sidewalk? because it was funny
- What do you call a nightclub that caters specifically to lesbian circus performers? A clown-d**... bar.
Circus Act Jokes
Here is a list of funny circus act jokes and even better circus act puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did y'all hear that the Ringling Bros. circus is closing down? Moving their act to the White House
- The circus's lazy new act is just a woman in revealing clothing reciting ascending numbers. I guess it's the thot that counts.
- Did you hear about the lion who killed a man during a circus act? He went straight for the juggler.
- In a circus "Daddy, they said death-defying act, but why then nobody actually died?
Daddy?
Daddy!"
Circus Kid Jokes
Here is a list of funny circus kid jokes and even better circus kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kid: "Dad, will you take me to the circus?" Dad: "No, son. If anyone wants to see you let them come to the house."
- Did you blow bubbles as a kid? He's in town with the circus and wants you to call him.
- How do you spot the violent kids at the circus? They go straight for the juggler.
- A boy runs to his mom and asks: "Mom, mom! Can we go the the circus?" His mom answers: "No, kid. People should come over if they want to see you."
Happy Circus Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about circus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carnival rides jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make circus pranks.
There's a shiner circus today in town today,
Seems more like a fez-tival to me.
Do you know why, all around the world, parlaments' roof are built as a dome?
Have you ever seen a circus with a flat roof?
That's nothing
A father, mother and a small kid go to see a circus. There, among many animals the kid sees the elephant and its long thing hanging between his legs. The kid asks dad "What's that". Ashamed to answer, father says "Ask mother".
The kid asks mom, and she too is ashamed and says, "Oh, that's nothing". The kid goes back to father, and father asks, "What did mom say". Kid says she told "That's nothing".
Father replies sighing, "Yeah for your mother even that's nothing".
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
A pig that can speak French
A circus advertises a new act: a pig that can speak French. A trainer walks onto the stage carrying a small pig with a blue ribbon and a wooden mallet. The trainer asks, "Parlez-vous français?" and hits the pig with the mallet. The pig: "Ouiiii..."
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
A man goes up to the leader of a circus
A man goes up to the circus, and says to the leader of the circus "I can do great bird impressions." The leader of the circus says "That's nothing special, lots of people can do great bird impressions, so get out of here"
The man says "ok" and flies away.
How do you make a flea circus?
From scratch.
A dog goes into a hardware store...
...and says: I'd like a job please . The hardware store owner says: We don't hire talking dogs, why don't you go join the circus? The dog replies: What would the circus want with a plumber .
-Steven Alan Green
A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service.
When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, "No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."
The man at the circus.
A man is going to the circus to look for work. The man finds the manager in his caravan and asks him if he could get a job at the circus.
Oh, so you're looking to join the circus then? Tell me, what can you do?
I can mimic a bird, the man says proudly.
Hah, scoffs the manager, every single person at this circus can mimic a bird, even the slow stable boy, that's not anything we'd want here at this circus.
Oh well, says the man and flew out the window.
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"
An elephant escaped from the circus...
...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.
"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."
"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.
"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"
Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus?
He stole the show.
What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?
A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
A dog walks into a bar
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender "A pint of beer please." The bartender says "Wow that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog then replies "Why? Do they need electricians?"
A boy goes to the circus
and one of the sideshows is a tent that says "Man Who Remembers Everything." Intrigued, the boy goes inside and sees an old Native American man sitting on the ground. He approaches the man and asks, "If you remember everything, what did you have for breakfast exactly three weeks ago?"
Without hesitation, the man responds, "Eggs." The boy is sufficiently impressed and leaves to enjoy the rest of the circus.
Many years later, the boy has grown up, gotten married, and had children. One day he takes his family to the circus and is shocked to see the Man Who Remembers Everything is still there. He brings his family into the tent, and there is the same old man sitting on the ground.
Excited to see the old man again, he walks up and greets him, "How!"
The old man looks into his eyes and replies, "Scrambled."
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar.
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
Job interview for a circus
A man is having a job interview for a circus. The interviewer asks: "What's your ability?"
"I can imitate birds"
"Look, I'm sorry but this is not the kind of things we are looking for"
The guy answers: "Fine, fine, thanks anyway", then he opens the window and flies away.
The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season.
The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"
A Job Wanted
A dog walks into a job centre, goes up to the woman at the desk and says, 'Good afternoon, miss. I'm looking for work.'
The woman looks up, amazed, and says, 'Good heavens, a talking dog! Er... well, let's try the circus in town. I'll give them a ring.'
The dog says, 'The circus? What on earth would the circus do with a computer programmer?'
A golden retriever walks into a bar
Stop reading if you heard this one before. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says "One beer, one shot, please."
The bartender says "Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!"
The goldie says "Why? Do they need an electrician?"
Did y'all hear about the circus fire this weekend?
Yeah, scary stuff... they say it was intents.
What's the difference between the Circus and the p**... Mansion?
The Circus features a cunning array of stunts.
What is the difference between a circus and a s**... club?
One of them has a lot of cunning stunts and the other...
Dave worked at a circus school...
Normally, he teaches kids how to juggle or do cartwheels but it wasn't all that interesting.
One day, he decides to teach the kids something a bit more exciting so he brought in a cannon.
Long story short - he was fired.
Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?
They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
My wife applied for the bearded woman circus attraction
I explained the position requires her to be a woman
I heard the Ringling Circus is shutting down this year
I guess they didn't want to compete with the White House.
A circus performer is pulled over for speeding.
As the officer is writing the ticket, he notices several machetes in the back seat of the car.
What are those for? he asks suspiciously.
I'm a juggler, the driver replies. I use those in my act.
Well, show me, the officer demands.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling: one, two, three, four, and finally seven machetes at one time. He does overhand, underhand, and behind the back.
Another car passes by. The driver does a double take and says: My God, if that's the test they're giving now, I've got to give up drinking!
Bird Impressions
A man goes to the circus and tells the talent recruiter that he would like to apply for a position. The recruiter asks what his talents are, and the man replies that he does amazing bird impressions. The recruiter tells the man he's seen a million bird impressions and is not interested. The man says, "that's too bad" and flies away.
The Circus needed a new act...
there were 2 performers gunning for the opportunity: a beatiful woman and a man badly dressed.
The woman started her act, which was lion taming: she stripped stark n**..., entered the lion´s cage, and made the beast postrate and lick her entire body, from head to toes.
The ringmaster was impressed, and asked the other performer:
"Can you do better than that?"
"Yes, and I dont even need to be whipped"
What's the difference between a circus and a w**...?
One is a display of cunning stunts.
I asked Dumbo what career options he would pursue, when the circus shut down, and if he would consider interesting opportunities
He said, "I don't know, but I'm all ears"
What's the difference between a circus and a s**... club?
You go to one to see cunning stunts...
After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire…
"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?"
The Human Cannonball shows up to the circus one day to tell the Ringmaster he's quitting
Upset, the Ringmaster pleads him not to leave; "Please, don't go!" he says, "Where will I ever find another man of your caliber?"
The Moscow State Circus are sad to announce...
The passing of their Human Cannonball.
A spokesman said they hoped that one day they might be able to find a replacement, but aren't sure they'll ever find another man of his calibre.
A talking duck walks into a bar
He walks up and orders a shot of whiskey because he's depressed. The bartender looks at him gobsmacked because he's a talking duck and then asks why he's sad.
The duck says I just lost my job
The bartender replies well don't be sad I know just the perfect place you can apply. The circus has just pulled into town
The duck replies what would a circus want with a plasterer?
Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
The Chancellor of Germany, Prince Harry's wife, and the actor who played Gollum should set up an emporium of p**... wigs in Sarkel, Russia
...and call it "Merkel, Markle and Serkis' Sarkel Merkin Circus"
Why did the robber go to the circus?
To steal the show. This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)
A horse walks into a bar
and says "bartender, one beer please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "Did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "Why? Do they need a plumber?"
Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?
I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.
A Dog Walks Into a Bar...
and asks the bartender, Do you have any jobs? The bartender says, Why don't you try the circus? The dog replies, Why would the circus need a bartender?
Why did the vampire join the circus?
To become an acrobat.
A man goes to the circus
After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
"Pssh, a lot of people can do that", says the manager.
"Oh well then", the man says and flies away.
They had to close the circus
There was a freak accident
A guy applies for a job at a circus
Manager:"What are your talents?"
Guy:"I can imitate a crow really well!!"
Manager:"Sorry i don't think you can be of use to us"
Guy:"s**..., i was sure i would get the job, well ok then, bye" proceedes to turn around and fly away
The dog says, "Gimme a beer."
The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"
The circus near my house started a competition to find the best contortionist
So I entered myself, and won.
What's the difference between a 3-ring circus and a Las Vegas chorus line?
One is an array of cunning stunts...
Why is marriage like a three ringed circus ?
First you have the engagement ring then you have the wedding ring, finally you have the suffering.
