Circus Act Jokes
15 circus act jokes and hilarious circus act puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about circus act that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Circus Act Short Jokes
Short circus act jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The circus act humour may include short circus jokes also.
- Did y'all hear that the Ringling Bros. circus is closing down? Moving their act to the White House
- The circus's lazy new act is just a woman in revealing clothing reciting ascending numbers. I guess it's the thot that counts.
- Did you hear about the lion who killed a man during a circus act? He went straight for the juggler.
- In a circus "Daddy, they said death-defying act, but why then nobody actually died?
Daddy?
Daddy!"
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Circus Act Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about circus act you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean circus elephant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make circus act pranks.
A circus performer is driving home after a long day of training, when he is pulled over by a police officer for a broken light.
The officer looks in the car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
Sir, he says, Why do you have all those knives?
They're for my juggling act, the circus performer replies.
I don't believe you, says the cop. Prove it. So the performer gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives flawlessly.
Just at that moment, a car with two guys in it drives by. "Wow, says one to the other. I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard.
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
A pig that can speak French
A circus advertises a new act: a pig that can speak French. A trainer walks onto the stage carrying a small pig with a blue ribbon and a wooden mallet. The trainer asks, "Parlez-vous français?" and hits the pig with the mallet. The pig: "Ouiiii..."
A circus performer is pulled over for speeding.
As the officer is writing the ticket, he notices several machetes in the back seat of the car.
What are those for? he asks suspiciously.
I'm a juggler, the driver replies. I use those in my act.
Well, show me, the officer demands.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling: one, two, three, four, and finally seven machetes at one time. He does overhand, underhand, and behind the back.
Another car passes by. The driver does a double take and says: My God, if that's the test they're giving now, I've got to give up drinking!
A circus performer is stopped by the police for having a faulty brake light
As he approaches the car, the policeman spots a set of knives on the back seat.
He asks the man why he has them and doesn't he know it's against the law to carry knives?
The man explains that the knives are used in his act. He juggles them.
The policeman insists the man gets out to show him so he stands at the roadside performing his act.
Just then, another car drives by. The driver of the car turns to his wife and says, Thank goodness I gave up drinking, just look how the police do sobriety tests these days.
In a circus full of people the entertainer walks onto the stage
"Ladies and gentlemen! Up next is our brand new act. Welcome to the stage - the boy with a phenomenal memory".
Following the entertainers introduction, a boy comes out from behind the stage, starting to unzip his pants.
"Now the said boy is going to urinate on everyone in the front row!", - announced the entertainer.
People in the front are confused and terrified, they start to hussle, trying to leave their seats, when the entertainer exclaims:
"There's no use in running, ladies and gentlemen! The boy has a phenomenal memory!"
The Circus needed a new act...
there were 2 performers gunning for the opportunity: a beatiful woman and a man badly dressed.
The woman started her act, which was lion taming: she stripped stark n**..., entered the lion´s cage, and made the beast postrate and lick her entire body, from head to toes.
The ringmaster was impressed, and asked the other performer:
"Can you do better than that?"
"Yes, and I dont even need to be whipped"
Donkey screws a girl
A new circus rolls into New York. Despite the new and wonderful acts, the circus keeps running at half-house.
Worried about his fortunes, the circus owner erects a board saying, 'Never seen before Act, at an invitational price of $69.... Donkey Screws a Girl'
As predicted, the show quickly sells out and the tent is packed to standing capacity....
The ringmaster walks in with a skimpily cladded female performer and a Donkey who looks capable of serious damage....followed by a clown carrying a covered tray.
The crowd goes wild as the performers take centre-stage..
The ringmaster then uncovers the tray with a flourish saying, 'Gentlemen, I present to you... Donkey, Screws, A Girl'
A man and his wife are looking for a job
The man, unable to find any employment in his field, decides to apply for anything he can find in the hopes of earning enough to feed his family.
A few days later, he comes home overjoyed. His wife enquires, and he happily said he found a job as a stuntman in a circus! The pay is good, he has great insurance and he begins tomorrow to practice what will be his main act, the human cannonball. They both go to sleep happy, and the next morning the man leaves for work.
Hours pass, and the man comes back home, with a very sad look on his face. His wife enquires, and he explains..
"I went to work, I got into the cannon to be shot but right after that, they fired me!"
The circus was in town and was taking applications from the local townspeople for wildly unique acts.
The interviewer was at the end of a long fruitless day of these local no-talents, when the last applicant, Jack, stepped up to the table.
Ok , said the interviewer, what's your special talent?
I do bird imitations! , replied Jack.
The interviewer sighed and shook his head. I guess that about wraps it up! , he said. Listen, son, bird imitations are a dime a dozen!! No thanks.
And with that, Jack gave a defiant Fine !! , and turned and flew out the window.
A man loses his legs in a bear fight
Despite this, he wins the fight, and uses the bears legs to replace his own.
By the time he gets to a hospital, he has full control over his legs,
The doctors tie the legs better, and let him keep them,
About a month later, a ringmaster of a freak circus finds him, and offers him a job in the circus,
He accepts, and a few months later, is ready for his first act,
He walks in front of the audience, and loudly claims
'I will walk over these hot stones bear-foot'