Circumstances Jokes

Following is our collection of disgustedly puns and duress one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circumstances jokes for adults, dirty harm jokes and clean scenario dad gags for kids.

The Best Circumstances Puns

I'm pretty sure God is a Black Woman

Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?

My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today...

but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field?

Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded.

Psychic convention cancelled ...

... due to unforeseen circumstances

We're sorry, but the "blind people rejoice" meeting has been postponed,

Due to unforeseen circumstances.


A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public

It's beautiful, it's free, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

I was going to go to the Psychics Conference.

But it was closed due to unforeseen circumstances.

Her: If you hear something in the woods, you tell me. if you hear something in the water, you tell me. But under no circumstances are you allowed to take off your blindfold.

Him: All this just because you forgot to pack your makeup for our camping trip?

Hey, dad.

"Dad, is there a word to describe answers that are completely correct but entirely useless under the circumstances?"

"Yes, son, yes there is."

A psychic talk show was cancelled

Due to unforseen circumstances.

After the death of Bobbi Kristina Brown in similar circumstances to her mother Whitney Houston...

The family have released an online video to commemorate their lives.
"Two Girls, One Tub" was probably not the best idea for a title.


I wasn't sure if I should post this here, because it's only funny under certain circumstances

certain circumstances

funny

A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.

He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.

The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.

Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?

The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?

An illustrator was found dead in his house

The investigation found his death to be in sketchy circumstances.

I was born in very sorry circumstances.

My mother was sorry and my father was sorry as well.

A salesman's car breaks down

A traveling salesman's car breaks down near an Ohio farmhouse. The salesman knocks on the door and explains his situation to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer says, "Its Friday night, I doubt you can get a tow into town tonight, so I'll let you stay the night. I have only one rule, under no circumstances are you to have sex with my son."

"I'm sorry," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

I'm going to set up my own religion!

I'm going to set up my own religion, one where its important to respect other peoples beliefs, learn to take criticism on the chin like an adult, wash regularly, treat women and children as equals and never kill anyone under any circumstances.

Its a non-prophet organisation.

I think that the nuclear launch codes should be kept in the hands of women, and those codes should also represent the number of sexual partners they have had.

That way they will never give up the real numbers under any circumstances.

My local psychic closed down...

..due to unforeseen circumstances


It's such a shame about tomorrow's session on Prophecies

It got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Why is the key next to the space bar on Trump's keyboard always in pristine condition?

Because no matter the circumstances, he'll never put pressure on the alt-right

I had to attend a seminar for psychics and fortune-tellers.

Unfortunately, it has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.

I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario

Or if they just see the world in black and white.

"Alright guys, we have lots of pictures to mount before the art gallery tonight. Like I said in the email, we'll have to use these adhesive hooks. Under no circumstances will you penetrate the wall with nails or screws. Tim, I've noticed you've already hung one picture. Great job.

Tim (hiding his drill and muttering under his breath): welp.. I screwed that up.

Under what circumstances does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle

The farmer died under mysterious circumstances...

Police suspect fowl play

Today's meeting for visually impaired psychics

has been cancelled...

due to unforeseen circumstances.

We assure you this issue will be **raised** in our next newsletter.

My first job was as a fortune teller.

I had to quit due to unforeseen circumstances.

Psychic Prediction Convention 2018

[CLOSED] Due to unforeseen circumstances.

This just in. A truck full of wigs has crashed under mysterious circumstances.

Police are now combing the area.

Why was the paranormal convention cancelled?

Due to unforseen circumstances

Unfortunately, this month's Psychics Club meeting is cancelled...

... due to unforeseen circumstances.

Whats the law that states...

Whats the law that states under the perfect circumstances any joke can be funny

There is an abundance of communications jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 33 funniest jokes and circumstances puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any confer witze you can hear about circumstances.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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