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Circumstances Jokes

57 circumstances jokes and hilarious circumstances puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about circumstances that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Circumstances Short Jokes

Short circumstances jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The circumstances humour may include short situation jokes also.

  1. I'm pretty sure God is a Black Woman Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?
  2. My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
  3. 3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field? Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded.
  4. A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public It's beautiful, it's free, but under no circumstances should you look at it.
  5. We're sorry, but the "blind people rejoice" meeting has been postponed, Due to unforeseen circumstances.
  6. it appears a chicken was found dead under mysterious circumstance. police suspect fowl play.
  7. I was going to go to the Psychics Conference. But it was closed due to unforeseen circumstances.
  8. Hey, dad. "Dad, is there a word to describe answers that are completely correct but entirely useless under the circumstances?"
    "Yes, son, yes there is."
  9. I was born in very sorry circumstances.... Both of my parents were very sorry.

    \-Joke by Norman Wisdom (Source IMDB)-
  10. I wasn't sure if I should post this here, because it's only funny under certain circumstances certain circumstances
    funny

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Circumstances One Liners

Which circumstances one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with circumstances? I can suggest the ones about predicament and consequences.

  1. My printer died last night under suspicious circumstances. Epson didn't kill itself.
  2. Psychic convention cancelled ... ... due to unforeseen circumstances
  3. Under what circumstance is mass a unit of time? Church
  4. In what circumstance would a fan restrict airflow? When you are hanging from it.
  5. What is permanent in Soviet Russia? Temporary circumstances.
  6. A psychic talk show was cancelled Due to unforseen circumstances.
  7. My local psychic closed down... ..due to unforeseen circumstances
  8. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  9. Under what circumstances does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Fo' drizzle
  10. The farmer died under mysterious circumstances... Police suspect fowl play
  11. What can you under no circumstance eat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner
  12. Psychic Prediction Convention 2018 [CLOSED] Due to unforeseen circumstances.
  13. My first job was as a fortune teller. I had to quit due to unforeseen circumstances.
  14. Why was the paranormal convention cancelled? Due to unforseen circumstances
  15. How to circumstance a red neck You break his sisters jaw

Circumstances joke, How to circumstance a red neck

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about circumstances can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of circumstances puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Circumstances Jokes

What funny jokes about circumstances you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cases jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make circumstances prank.

Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.


If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.

"Alright guys, we have lots of pictures to mount before the art gallery tonight. Like I said in the email, we'll have to use these adhesive hooks. Under no circumstances will you p**... the wall with nails or screws. Tim, I've noticed you've already hung one picture. Great job.

Tim (hiding his drill and muttering under his breath): welp.. I s**... that up.

A guy goes to his psychiatrist complaining about his s**... life...

Upon further discussion the psychiatrist suggests that the spark of excitement has gone out of his client's marriage.
"Perhaps," he suggests, "the next time you are feeling amorous, you should just take your wife, s**... and with abandon, right there and then, no matter the circumstance."
The man agrees that it seems a good idea. Two weeks later, he returns for his normal session with the psychiatrist.
"How did things go?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Absolutely amazing," says the man. "One night, as we sat down to dinner, I looked at my wife. She looked at me and we immediately made mad, passionate love right there on the table."
"So, things are good?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Couldn't be better," says the guy, "except we're can't eat at the Denny's next to our house anymore."

There's an old Italian man

There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.
"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."
The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."
That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.
The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."

Unfortunately, this month's Psychics Club meeting is cancelled...

... due to unforeseen circumstances.

A salesman's car breaks down

A traveling salesman's car breaks down near an Ohio farmhouse. The salesman knocks on the door and explains his situation to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer says, "Its Friday night, I doubt you can get a tow into town tonight, so I'll let you stay the night. I have only one rule, under no circumstances are you to have s**... with my son."
"I'm sorry," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario

Or if they just see the world in black and white.

I'm going to set up my own religion!

I'm going to set up my own religion, one where its important to respect other peoples beliefs, learn to take criticism on the chin like an adult, wash regularly, treat women and children as equals and never kill anyone under any circumstances.
Its a non-prophet organisation.

Potato Patch

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

After the death of Bobbi Kristina Brown in similar circumstances to her mother Whitney Houston...

The family have released an online video to commemorate their lives.
"Two Girls, One Tub" was probably not the best idea for a title.

So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"

The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."

I had to attend a seminar for psychics and fortune-tellers.

Unfortunately, it has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Why is the key next to the space bar on Trump's keyboard always in pristine condition?

Because no matter the circumstances, he'll never put pressure on the alt-right

A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.

He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.
The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.
Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?
The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?

An illustrator was found dead in his house

The investigation found his death to be in sketchy circumstances.

Today's meeting for visually impaired psychics

has been cancelled...
due to unforeseen circumstances.
We assure you this issue will be **raised** in our next newsletter.

I think that the nuclear launch codes should be kept in the hands of women, and those codes should also represent the number of s**... partners they have had.

That way they will never give up the real numbers under any circumstances.

Her: If you hear something in the woods, you tell me. if you hear something in the water, you tell me. But under no circumstances are you allowed to t**... blindfold.

Him: All this just because you forgot to pack your makeup for our camping trip?

I was born in very sorry circumstances.

My mother was sorry and my father was sorry as well.

It's such a shame about tomorrow's session on Prophecies

It got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

20 Minutes

An old man and a young woman are stuck in an elevator and the building is on fire. The young woman asks, "Sir, I'm interested what would you do if you thought you only had 20 minutes to live?" "Well, I think I would screw anything that moved. Why what would you do?" asked the old man. "Well, under the circumstances," said the woman, "I think I would remain perfectly still."

Circumstances joke, What is permanent in Soviet Russia?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these circumstances jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.