The Best 48 Circumcisions Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Circumcisions jokes. There are some circumcisions circumsizer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these circumcisions uncircumcised puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Circumcisions Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the rabbi performing circumcisions for free?

...he just kept the tips.

Will a rabbi charge a lot for circumcisions?

No. He just keeps the tips.

A guy passes by a shop with three beautiful watches in the window...

He goes inside, and says to the proprietor: "Those are beautiful watches you have on display, how much for one?"

The proprietor says: "Oh, those aren't for sale. We don't make watches here, we do circumcisions."

The man is a bit taken aback: "If you do circumcisions, why do you have watches in your shop window?"

The proprietor says: "Well, what would you put in the window?"

Circumcisions joke, A guy passes by a shop with three beautiful watches in the window...

My uncle performed circumcisions...

He kept all the foreskin and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase.

A Rabbi's money maker.

A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says
- No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!


Do Rabbis get paid for performing circumcisions?

Nope, they just keep the tips.

Have you heard about the Rabbi who did circumcisions for free?

He worked for tips.

Circumcisions joke, Have you heard about the Rabbi who did circumcisions for free?

Did you hear about the discount rabbi for circumcisions?

He'll take up to 10% off.

The mohel

After many years, a mohel had saved the foreskins from thousands of circumcisions and didn't know what to do with them so he brought them to his tailor. A couple weeks later, the tailor hands the mohel a wallet and the mohel, disappointed, says, "I give you thousands of foreskin and all you can make me is this wallet?!"
To which the tailor responds, " Yes, but rub it and it becomes a suitcase!"

I lost my job performing circumcisions

I just couldn't cut it.

I Just Started My New Job Performing Circumcisions...

The base pay sucks, but luckily I get lots of tips.

You can explore circumcisions foreskin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean circumcisions vasectomies dad jokes. There are also circumcisions puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A guy gives free circumcisions

He gets asked, "well, if you don't get paid, how do you keep the food on the table?"

He answers, "I keep the tips"

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

There once was a mouse called Keith

Who did circumcisions for free with his teeth;

He didn't do it for pleasure,

Excitement or leisure...

He did it for the cheese underneath.

Great deals on circumcisions,

Half off!

Why do Jewish women love circumcisions?

They'll get their hands on anything that's 10% off.

Circumcisions joke, Why do Jewish women love circumcisions?

Do you charge for circumcisions?

No, I only take tips

My friend works at a circumcision clinic

I asked him if he charges alot for his circumcisions

He said "No, I just keep the tips."

I used to perform circumcisions for a living.

I got tons of tips.


A man is talking to a rabbi and asks, "Do you charge a lot for your circumcisions?".

The rabbi says, "No, I just keep the tips."

What happens to the short sighted guy who did circumcisions?

He got the sack

Did you know rabbi's perform circumcisions for free?

But they'll gladly take any tips.

People always wonder if circumcisions hurt.

Id say they do, I had it done as a baby and couldn't walk for a year!

Why do Jewish men get circumcisions?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything under 15% off.

I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions

The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.

How much does a doctor charge to do circumcisions?

He doesn't charge anything but he gets to keep the tips!

Burn unit

I asked the doctor what they did with all the foreskins after circumcisions, he told me that years ago they would send them to the burn unit for people with facial burns for eyelid reconstruction. I asked, why did they stop? He says, because ask the patients ended up looking cockeyed

How much do I make preforming circumcisions?

Not much, but I get to keep the tips.

Why don't doctor's offices have sales?

Because All Circumcisions Half-Off! doesn't sound appealing.

How much do people who perform circumcisions get paid?

$50/h plus tips

My buddy performs circumcisions, and i was curious how much he got paid

"Oh we dont get paid, we just keep the tips"

Just heard about a Rabbi who was terrible at circumcisions.

He got the sack.

When I went to visit Israel I noticed that the Rabbi who does all the circumcisions probably has the worst job in the country and only makes minimum wage

He gets a lot of tips though

Did you hear about guy who was performing unlicensed circumcisions?

He got busted after the police received a tip off.

I got a job performing circumcisions

On my first day I slipped and got the sack

Did you hear about the job at the zoo performing Elephant circumcisions?

The Pay is terrible, but the Tips are massive!

TIL: A Rabbi doesn't get paid for performing circumcisions.

They just collect the tips.

A priest and a rabbi are chatting about their salaries...

The priest asks the rabbi, "do you get paid for the circumcisions you do?"

The rabbi replies, "no, I just keep the tips."

Did you know most Rabbis don't get paid for circumcisions?

But they get decent tips!

Did you hear about the robot who specializes in circumcisions

Real cutting-edge technology

Rabbis make no money doing circumcisions.

But they do get a lot of tips.

One doctor saved all the foreskins of circumcisions he did.

After 35 years he retired and told his wife he was going to make something out of them. After a week he showed her what he'd made, a wallet.

"That's all you got from 35 years?"

He said "yea but when you rub it a few times it turns into a suitcase."

Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while...

Cheap ones are ripoffs

Why does the Rabbi offer free circumcisions?

He only collects the tips!

I'm sure this joke exists but it was my dads favorite joke so I thought I would post it here for you guys to enjoy!!

The scariest sign in the world...

"Circumcisions 40% off"

I had a mate who did circumcisions for a living.

The pay wasn't great but he got to keep the tips.

You know what they say about getting cheap circumcisions.

It'll be a rip-off.

Did you hear the zoo is hiring someone to perform elephant circumcisions?

The pay's not great, but the tips are pretty big.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the circumcisions bris jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working circumcisions mohel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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