Following is our collection of eyelids puns and mgm one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circumcision jokes for adults, dirty vaccination jokes and clean uncircumcised dad gags for kids.
When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year
The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids.
It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little cock-eyed
A rip off.
a rip off.
The doctor looks at him for a minute and asks if he is sure. The man says yes, he's thought about it for some time and thinks its time to get it done. The doctor says alright, it's your body.
After the procedure, the man wakes up and the doctor comes over for a chat. He tells the man that while he was down there, he threw in a free circumcision.
Circumcision! the man exclaims. That's the word I was looking for.
I told him no hard feelings.
Two young boys are waiting for their
surgery…
What operation are you having done?
Getting my tonsils out, what about you?
Circumcision
Oh that's bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn't walk for a year
It was a rather inappropriate situation for me as a doctor.
It was a rip off.
It was a rip off
Now he's cockeyed.
In tips.
My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip.
I just want to know the cutoff date.
Nothing, they only accept tips
...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.
Usually, it's a rip-off.
Some guy cut me off.
I mean, you're either foreskin or against it.
It was a bit of a stretch, but I managed to pull it off.
A rip off.
Jimmy, you got a circumcision right? How long did it take you to recover?
Well, I got it when I was three days old and I wasn't able to walk for 11 months after it
It was a rip off.
The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed.
Because the Jewish women will take anything that's 10% off
They both get rid of the force kin!
the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.
$700 per week, plus tips.
He says, "Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?" And the Rabbi says, "Not much, I just keep the tips."
They always get cut off right at the end.
Cheap ones are ripoffs
He kept all of the tips
He got the sac.
Nothing. He just keeps the tips.
A rip-off.
Well, you can't blame them. They don't make much money, they just keep the tips.
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for nearly a year!
A rip off!
Doctors were able to make him eye lids out of the foreskin from his circumcision.
They think he will be alright, but he is going to be a little cock-eyed.
cocktails.
It was a rip off
I couldn't walk for two years!
...but not as sensitive as it used to be.
It's a total ripoff.
A rip-off
It's a rip-off.
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What a rip off!
Billy asks Tommy why he's there.
Tommy says, To get my tonsils removed.
Billy says, Oh don't worry, it's not so bad. You get to stay home from school and eat all the ice cream you want.
Tommy then asks Billy, Why are you here?
Billy says, For a circumcision.
Tommy says, Oh boy, that's sucks, I had one when I was first born and I couldn't walk for about a year!
I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.
A total rip-off.
Not a pleasant experience... it was a rip-off
He only took tips
A rip-off.
There is an abundance of tips jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes and circumcision puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mohel witze you can hear about circumcision.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.