The Best 57 Circumcision Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Circumcision jokes. There are some circumcision mgm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these circumcision uncircumcised puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Circumcision Jokes and Puns

What drinks do they serve after a circumcision?


I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.


My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip.

Circumcision joke, Circumcision.

How do circumcision doctors get paid?

In tips.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

a rip off.

Did you hear about the rabbi who lost his job after a botched circumcision?

He got the sac.

I got a cheap circumcision yesterday...

It was a rip off.

Circumcision joke, I got a cheap circumcision yesterday...

What do you call a circumcision for a dollar?

A rip off!

A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision...

He says, "Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?" And the Rabbi says, "Not much, I just keep the tips."

Did you hear about that baby boy that was born with no eyelids?

The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed.

A 35 year old man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated...

The doctor looks at him for a minute and asks if he is sure. The man says yes, he's thought about it for some time and thinks its time to get it done. The doctor says alright, it's your body.

After the procedure, the man wakes up and the doctor comes over for a chat. He tells the man that while he was down there, he threw in a free circumcision.

Circumcision! the man exclaims. That's the word I was looking for.

You can explore circumcision eyelids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean circumcision vaccination dad jokes. There are also circumcision puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call an overpriced circumcision?

A rip off.

A baby boy was born without eyelids. After the circumcision, the doctors used the foreskin to make eyelids.

Now he's cockeyed.

How is circumcision like the Great Jedi Purge?

They both get rid of the force kin!

How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision?

Nothing. He just keeps the tips.

A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except...

the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.

Circumcision joke, A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Eve

Why should you never trust a cheap circumcision?

It's a total ripoff.

Circumcision is a sensitive subject...

...but not as sensitive as it used to be.

I'm so torn on circumcision.

I mean, you're either foreskin or against it.

Never get a cheap circumcision.

It's a rip-off.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off.

Well, you can't blame them. They don't make much money, they just keep the tips.

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

What do you call an amateur circumcision?

A rip-off

How do you give a hill billy a circumcision?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

What do you call a budget circumcision?

A rip off.

PSA: Don't get a cheap circumcision.

Usually, it's a rip-off.

I've never heard a good circumcision joke.

They always get cut off right at the end.

I got hard during circumcision

It was a rather inappropriate situation for me as a doctor.

My friend said he got a cheap circumcision when he was a kid...

What a rip off!

Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ?

He kept all of the tips


Two young boys are waiting for their

What operation are you having done?

Getting my tonsils out, what about you?


Oh that's bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn't walk for a year

Wanted: Circumcision surgeon

$700 per week, plus tips.

There was a kid that was born with no eyelids.

The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids.
It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little cock-eyed

I was late to my own circumcision.

Some guy cut me off.

My doctor apologized for the botched circumcision that left me impotent.

I told him no hard feelings.

People say circumcision does NOT hurt.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for nearly a year!

I got a cheap circumcision when I was young.

It was a rip off.

There was a boy born without eye lids last week!

Doctors were able to make him eye lids out of the foreskin from his circumcision.

They think he will be alright, but he is going to be a little cock-eyed.

A man was worried about getting a circumcision so he asks his friend for advice

Jimmy, you got a circumcision right? How long did it take you to recover?

Well, I got it when I was three days old and I wasn't able to walk for 11 months after it

Why do Jews have circumcision?

Because the Jewish women will take anything that's 10% off

I tried circumcision without the proper equipment.

It was a bit of a stretch, but I managed to pull it off.

Two Jewish men are standing in the bathroom and peeing in adjacent urinals

the one to the right finishes doing his business, turns around, and says to his neighbor, Tell me, did Mohel Rabinovich do your bris [i.e. circumcision]? Yes, the other guy responds, how did you know?!!! Well, Rabinovich is a little cross-eyed and you are peeing on my shoes!

Just paid a lot of money for a really unprofessional circumcision

It was a rip off

Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while...

Cheap ones are ripoffs

My parents got me the cheapest circumcision available

It was a rip off

You know how painful my circumcision was?

I couldn't walk for two years!

How much is a circumcision

Nothing, they only accept tips

An 8 year old (Billy) and a 9 year old (Tommy) are sitting in a waiting room with their moms at a hospital

Billy asks Tommy why he's there.

Tommy says, To get my tonsils removed.

Billy says, Oh don't worry, it's not so bad. You get to stay home from school and eat all the ice cream you want.

Tommy then asks Billy, Why are you here?

Billy says, For a circumcision.

Tommy says, Oh boy, that's sucks, I had one when I was first born and I couldn't walk for about a year!

What is the oldest age a person can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

Circumcision jobs don't pay much

But you get to keep the tips

How do you give a person from Alabama a circumcision?

You kick his sister in the jaw

There once was a man in prison

Who performed his own circumcision

With cigarettes he paid

And got his own blade

What he shoulda bought was better precision.

The surgeon's first circumcision was tricky.

Eventually, the surgeon managed to pull it off.

Did you hear about the Doctor who messed up the circumcision badly?

He quickly got the sack.

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."

The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the hell happened to you?!?" I gasped.

He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."

Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids?

They used the skin from his circumcision to make his new eyelids.

The doctor said he made it through the surgery fine, but may end up a little cockeyed.

Did you know there's only one medical procedure where you *have* to leave a tip?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the circumcision tips jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working circumcision mohel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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