Circumcision Jokes

Following is our collection of eyelids puns and mgm one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circumcision jokes for adults, dirty vaccination jokes and clean uncircumcised dad gags for kids.

The Best Circumcision Puns

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

There was a kid that was born with no eyelids.

The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids.
It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little cock-eyed

What do you call an overpriced circumcision?

A rip off.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

a rip off.

A 35 year old man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated...

The doctor looks at him for a minute and asks if he is sure. The man says yes, he's thought about it for some time and thinks its time to get it done. The doctor says alright, it's your body.

After the procedure, the man wakes up and the doctor comes over for a chat. He tells the man that while he was down there, he threw in a free circumcision.

Circumcision! the man exclaims. That's the word I was looking for.

My doctor apologized for the botched circumcision that left me impotent.

I told him no hard feelings.


Two young boys are waiting for their

What operation are you having done?

Getting my tonsils out, what about you?


Oh that's bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn't walk for a year

I got hard during circumcision

It was a rather inappropriate situation for me as a doctor.

I got a cheap circumcision yesterday...

It was a rip off.

Just paid a lot of money for a really unprofessional circumcision

It was a rip off

A baby boy was born without eyelids. After the circumcision, the doctors used the foreskin to make eyelids.

Now he's cockeyed.

How do circumcision doctors get paid?

In tips.


My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip.

What is the oldest age a person can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

How much is a circumcision

Nothing, they only accept tips

I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.

PSA: Don't get a cheap circumcision.

Usually, it's a rip-off.

I was late to my own circumcision.

Some guy cut me off.

I'm so torn on circumcision.

I mean, you're either foreskin or against it.

I tried circumcision without the proper equipment.

It was a bit of a stretch, but I managed to pull it off.

What do you call a budget circumcision?

A rip off.

A man was worried about getting a circumcision so he asks his friend for advice

Jimmy, you got a circumcision right? How long did it take you to recover?

Well, I got it when I was three days old and I wasn't able to walk for 11 months after it

I got a cheap circumcision when I was young.

It was a rip off.

Did you hear about that baby boy that was born with no eyelids?

The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed.

Why do Jews have circumcision?

Because the Jewish women will take anything that's 10% off

How is circumcision like the Great Jedi Purge?

They both get rid of the force kin!

A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except...

the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.

Wanted: Circumcision surgeon

$700 per week, plus tips.

A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision...

He says, "Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?" And the Rabbi says, "Not much, I just keep the tips."

I've never heard a good circumcision joke.

They always get cut off right at the end.

Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while...

Cheap ones are ripoffs

Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ?

He kept all of the tips

Did you hear about the rabbi who lost his job after a botched circumcision?

He got the sac.

How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision?

Nothing. He just keeps the tips.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off.

Well, you can't blame them. They don't make much money, they just keep the tips.

People say circumcision does NOT hurt.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for nearly a year!

What do you call a circumcision for a dollar?

A rip off!

There was a boy born without eye lids last week!

Doctors were able to make him eye lids out of the foreskin from his circumcision.

They think he will be alright, but he is going to be a little cock-eyed.

What drinks do they serve after a circumcision?


My parents got me the cheapest circumcision available

It was a rip off

You know how painful my circumcision was?

I couldn't walk for two years!

Circumcision is a sensitive subject...

...but not as sensitive as it used to be.

Why should you never trust a cheap circumcision?

It's a total ripoff.

What do you call an amateur circumcision?

A rip-off

Never get a cheap circumcision.

It's a rip-off.

How do you give a hill billy a circumcision?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

My friend said he got a cheap circumcision when he was a kid...

What a rip off!

An 8 year old (Billy) and a 9 year old (Tommy) are sitting in a waiting room with their moms at a hospital

Billy asks Tommy why he's there.

Tommy says, To get my tonsils removed.

Billy says, Oh don't worry, it's not so bad. You get to stay home from school and eat all the ice cream you want.

Tommy then asks Billy, Why are you here?

Billy says, For a circumcision.

Tommy says, Oh boy, that's sucks, I had one when I was first born and I couldn't walk for about a year!

Circumcision is barbaric and cruel

I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.

What do you call a botched circumcision?

A total rip-off.

I paid a homeless man 2$ to give me a circumcision

Not a pleasant experience... it was a rip-off

Did you hear about the Rabbi who didn't charge for circumcision?

He only took tips

What do you call a poor circumcision?

A rip-off.

There is an abundance of tips jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes and circumcision puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mohel witze you can hear about circumcision.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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