Cheerful Fun Circumcised Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
Why do Jewish Girls only date circumcised men?
They like 20% off everything!
Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
Because Jewish women can't resist anything 25% off
Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed razor
blade?
She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.
Why do jewish women like circumcised p**...?
What jew doesn't like 10% off?
Two boys sitting to pee
Two five year old boys are sitting at the p**... to pee.
When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.
" What does that mean?"
"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."
" How old were you when it was cut off?"
" My mom said that I was two days old."
" Did it hurt?"
" You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a whole year!"
Born without eyelids.
Last week a little boy was born at the hospital without any eyelids. Puzzled the doctors didn't know what to make of it. In a snap of genius, when they circumcised the boy they also replaced his missing eyelids. Only problem is now he's c**...-eyed.
Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off.
It was pretty hard to find a cheap way to get our son circumcised...
...But in the end we pulled it off.
Why do Jewish fathers
have their sons circumcised?
They know Jewish women can't resist anything with 10% off.
Poor kid
Was reading the news this morning and saw an article about a kid in Denver born without any eye lids.
The doctor decided that since the parents were having him circumcised, the f**... could be made into eye lids for the kid.
The surgery actually turned out really well, kids just a little cockeyed.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
Because Jewish women only want things that are 20% off.
You can explore circumcised procedure reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean circumcised appendectomy dad jokes. There are also circumcised puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's half off.
My newborn son...
was born with no eyelids. Luckily, the doctor was able to use the f**... (after they circumcised him) to make eyelids for him. They say he's gonna be ok...he'll just be a little cockeyed.
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Cause Jewish women won't take anything unless its 10% off.
[nsfw] why do Jewish women prefer circumcised men?
They'll take anything that's 30% off
What do you call a Jewish baby who isn't circumcised?
A girl.
Why do jews get their p**... circumcised?
Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off
I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that.
Anyone have any tips?
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 20% off.
There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids.
So the doctors circumcised him and used his f**... as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed
Why do Jewish guys get circumcised?
Because Jewish women love anything 10 percent off.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
Because their women don't want it unless it's 10% off
A man gets circumcised...
After his surgery, he asks the surgeon, "How much should I pay you?"
The surgeon replies, "Oh, you don't need to pay me anything, I do this sort of stuff for free."
The man, confused, then asks, "How do you make a living?"
The surgeon says, "I just collect the tips."
Why do jews get their p**... circumcised?
Because women like their d**... 20% off
A baby boy was recently born without eyelids...
The doctors, thinking quickly, circumcised the boy and fashioned eyelids from the boy's f**.... Reports are that the surgery was successful although the boy is now c**...-eyed.
Why do Jewish girls love circumcised d**...?
They love anything 10% off
Why are all jewish men circumcised?
...because jewish women don't take anything without 10% off.
My son was born without eye lids
My son was born with out eye lids, so when they circumcised him they used his f**... as new eye lids.
He's alright now, just a little c**...-eyed
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because what Jewish woman could resist anything that's 20% off?
A man was circumcised in a dodgy alleyway...
He paid close to nothing for it but was not happy as later that day, he was complaining to his friends that it was a complete rip-off.
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
I used to work at the circus
I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.
The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Two Jewish Guys at the u**...
There were two Jewish guys next to each other at the urinals. The guy on the right turns to other and asks: "You were circumcised by Rabbi Brown, weren't you?"
"I was! How did you know?"
"You're peeing on my shoe."
When I was born I was circumcised...
It hurts so bad I didn't walk for year. In fact, I was so upset with my parents I didn't talk to them for like 18 months!
Why do Jewish guys get circumcised?
Because they know Jewish girls can't resist something that's 30% off
Why are all Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Why do Jews get Circumcised?
Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
Why are Jewish males circumcised?
Because they know Jewish females can't resist anything that's 10% off
I got circumcised today...
... any tips?
My rabbi stiffed me for a tip
but I don't mind being circumcised.
People say circumcision does NOT hurt.
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for nearly a year!
What did the father say when the doctor charged $100 for his son to be circumcised?
What a rip-off!
My friends have ignored me ever since ive gotten circumcised.
They cut me off.
Circumcision is barbaric and cruel
I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.
Why are h**... men not circumcised?
Because they need somewhere to carry their chew.
What do you call it when the tallest man in the world gets circumcised?
A cut above the rest.
I was born without eyelids
I was circumcised and my f**... was used to create eyelids for me. The surgery was a success, I'm just a little cockeyed.
Circumcised
p**... says to m**....
I'm getting circumcised tomorrow!
m**... says
I had that done when I was a few days old
p**... asks
Does it hurt?
m**... then replies
Well I couldn't walk for about a year after
A girl I just started dating asked me if I had been circumcised...
I told her, No, I don't get a w**..., I get a hoody.
Why are all jewish boys circumcised?
Because jewish women love things 20% off.
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised...
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised. He meets with a pediatrician who says "ya know we used to use the f**... from the circumcision to do skin transplants for kids born without eyelids... But we had to stop because they started coming out cockeyed"
Two babies are sitting in their playpen cooing away...
Baby 1: Well, looks like I'm getting circumcised tomorrow.
Baby 2: Ouch, I had it done when I was just a few days old.
Baby 1: Well then, does it hurt mate?
Baby 2: I'll put it to you this way pal, after I had it done I couldn't walk for about a year.
Did you hear about the kid born w/o an eyelid?
When they circumcised him, they used the extra skin to fix his eyelid.
The procedure went fine, he's a little cockeyed now though...
I really wanted to become a pornstar but I had heard that all the popular ones were circumcised.
I guess I just wasn't cut out for it.
Our son is whining because we circumcised him...
like have some thicker skin dude
When I was circumcised they accidentally took a little extra off.
They ended up using it as skin grafts for a pair of twin's eyelids.
Now I'm getting sued by the parents because they're a little c**...-eyed.
Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient'
Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
I'm getting circumcised tomorrow
any tips?
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee.
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee. One turns to the other and says, Your dinky doesn't have any skin on it. That's because I've been circumcised, he replies. Cor! What does that mean?
It means the skin's been cut off the end. How old were you when they did that? About two days old. Did it hurt? It sure did. I didn't walk for a year.
A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils.
Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.
Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.
Why are jews circumcised?
Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.
I applied to every single college fraternity
But I was refused membership in all the fraternities because I was circumcised.
Apparently they only accept complete d**....
Can older adults be circumcised?
Or is there a cut off date ?
I was circumcised yesterday.
The doctor did such a good job I left him a tip.
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee.
One turns to the other and says, Your dinky doesn't have any skin on it.
That's because I've been circumcised, he replies.
Cor! What does that mean?
It means the skin's been cut off the end.
How old were you when they did that?
About two days old.
Did it hurt?
It sure did. I didn't walk for a year.
