The Best 51 Circumcise Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Circumcise jokes. There are some circumcise tips jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these circumcise incision puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Circumcise Jokes and Puns

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

You kick his sister in the chin

How do you circumcise a red-neck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn had a huge argument over whether to circumcise their son

Lindsey went downhill from there, but Tiger made the cut.

Circumcise joke, Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn had a huge argument over whether to circumcise their son

How many people are needed to circumcise a whale?

How many people are needed to circumcise a whale?
foreskin divers

Did you hear about the rabbi who had to circumcise elephants?

The pay was terrible but the tips were huge!


I got a job at the circus.

I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.

A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

They say, "Whoever goes into the woods and converts the most dangerous animal, wins". So a week goes by and they all return. The Pastor comes back with a rattlesnake and says "He goes to church every week!". The priest comes back with cougar and says "His first he's getting confirmed next month!". The Rabbi comes back in a full body cast and says " You know, I probably shouldn't have tried to circumcise a bear."

Circumcise joke, A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

Continuing the apparent theme of incest jokes...

How do you circumcise a boy from Missouri?

You kick his sister in the chin.

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send down four skin-divers

If you want big tips...

...circumcise an elephant.

Do Muslim Extremests circumcise?

Yes, but they cut the heads off.

You can explore circumcise bris reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean circumcise amputate dad jokes. There are also circumcise puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I woman had just given birth to a baby boy...

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?

You kick his sister in the chin.

How do you circumcise Kanye West?

Kick him in the jaw.

I got circumcised on the NHS

Which means the operation was free, you just leave a tip

I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that.

Anyone have any tips?

Circumcise joke, I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that.

[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw...

(Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?

Foreskin divers

A baby was born with no eyes lids...

So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids.

They botched it though and he came out looking a bit cock-eyed.


How do you circumcise a guy from Wyoming?

Kick his sister in the chin.

A baby boy born without eyelids...

Recently at a baby boy was born prematurely without eyelids. The doctors decided to take him off to surgery and circumcise him and use the skin removed to make new eyelids.

The surgery went great except he came out a little cocked eyed...

A little boy was born with no eyelids..

A little boy was born with no eyelids. The doctor said when we circumcise him we can take some of that skin and make him new ones. As the boy grew up he was able to see just fine, other than being a little cock-eyed!

A kid was born without eyelids.

Don't worry the doctor assured the father.
When we circumcise him we will use the skin to make him new eyelids. After the procedure the father is with the doctor. Well what do you think of the procedure? asks the doctor. I don't know? Does he look a little cockeyed to you?

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

My dad had a friend that circumcise elephants at the zoo.

He said the pay small, but the tips were big.

How do You Circumcise a Priest?

Kick the choir boy in the chin

Doctor: So your child was born without eyelids.

Mother: Well isn't there anything you can do?

Doctor: Yes, when we circumcise him we can take that excess skin and make him eye lids.

Mother: Will he be okay?

Doctor: Yeah, he will be fine, just be a little cock-eyed.

There was a boy born without any eyelids

And it caused him terrible discomfort and to make matters worse, the doctors feared he would inevitably go blind one day.

Then one doctor came up with an ingenious solution. He planned to circumcise the boy and use his foreskin to make new eyelids for him.

After a lengthy procedure, the surgery was a success and now the boy has two fully functioning eyelids.

The doctor says the boy is doing fine, he's just a little cock-eyed

A baby boy was born without eyelids.

The doctors decided to circumcise him and use the foreskin to create eyelids for him. It all went well except he is a little cockeyed.

I got circumcised today...

... any tips?

The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy

David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation.

Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow.

David: Oh? What are they going to do?

Ali: Circumcise me!

David: I had that done when I was just a few days old.

Ali: Did it hurt?

David: I couldn't walk for a year!

How do you circumcise a white supremacist?

You punch his sister in the jaw

Why do American hospitals circumcise baby boys?

In the US, it's customary to leave a tip.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Give his sister an uppercut.

How do they circumcise boys in Virginia?

Kick his sister in the chin.

Circumcised

Paddy says to mick.
I'm getting circumcised tomorrow!
Mick says
I had that done when I was a few days old
Paddy asks
Does it hurt?
Mick then replies
Well I couldn't walk for about a year after

Did you guys hear about the baby that was born without eyelids?

He's a boy, and the were gonna circumcise him anyway, so the surgeon used the foreskin to make new eyelids.

Don't worry, the baby's doing great. He's just a little cockeyed.

How much does a circumciser get paid?

Nothing, he just keeps the tips.

How do you circumcise a Catholic man?

Kick his priest in the jaw

When I was circumcised they accidentally took a little extra off.

They ended up using it as skin grafts for a pair of twin's eyelids.

Now I'm getting sued by the parents because they're a little cock-eyed.

As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants...

The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE

How did you get circumcised? My parents went for the cheap option.

It was a ripoff.

Do you know how they circumcise whales?

Four skin divers.

Why did Luke circumcise his kids?

Because they were his force kin.

How do you circumcise a whale?

Fore skin divers.

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

I'm getting circumcised tomorrow

any tips?

How do you circumcise a guy from alabama?

By kicking his sister in the jaw

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but...

The tips were massive.

A woman just gave birth to a baby boy. Unfortunately....

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"

I got a job at the Zoo.

I have to work my way up from the bottom.
My first job is circumcise the elephants.
They aren't paying me, but the tips are HUGE.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the circumcise iceis jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working circumcise graft piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes