Circum Jokes

Following is our collection of circa puns and circle one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circum jokes for adults, dirty diameter jokes and clean redneck dad gags for kids.

The Best Circum Puns

Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?

They love anything that's 15% off

Just a joke lol

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send down four skin-divers

How do you circumcise a red-neck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

How do circumcision doctors get paid?

In tips.


My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip.

How much is a circumcision

Nothing, they only accept tips


Paddy says to mick.
I'm getting circumcised tomorrow!
Mick says
I had that done when I was a few days old
Paddy asks
Does it hurt?
Mick then replies
Well I couldn't walk for about a year after

How do you circumcise a guy from alabama?

By kicking his sister in the jaw

I tried circumcision without the proper equipment.

It was a bit of a stretch, but I managed to pull it off.

How do you circumcise Kanye West?

Kick him in the jaw.

What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern?

Pumpkin pie!

How is circumcision like the Great Jedi Purge?

They both get rid of the force kin!

Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while...

Cheap ones are ripoffs

Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ?

He kept all of the tips

I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that.

Anyone have any tips?

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

You kick his sister in the chin

I got circumcised today...

... any tips?

When I was circumcised they accidentally took a little extra off.

They ended up using it as skin grafts for a pair of twin's eyelids.

Now I'm getting sued by the parents because they're a little cock-eyed.

How do You Circumcise a Priest?

Kick the choir boy in the chin

Under what circumstance is mass a unit of time?


How do you circumcise a white supremacist?

You punch his sister in the jaw

In what circumstance would a fan restrict airflow?

When you are hanging from it.

Circumcision is a sensitive subject...

...but not as sensitive as it used to be.

I'm getting circumcised tomorrow

any tips?

Circumcision is barbaric and cruel

I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.

If you're ever getting a circumcision don't go for the cheap option

It's usually a rip off

How do you circumsize an Alabama man?

Kick his sister in the chin.

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?

You kick his sister in the chin.

How do you circumsize a blue whale?

Four skindivers

How do they circumcise boys in Virginia?

Kick his sister in the chin.

How do you circumcise a guy from Wyoming?

Kick his sister in the chin.

What did the circumference of a circle say to its diameter?

Want some pi?

What is the best way to circumcize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

How do you circumcise a whale?

Fore skin divers.

Circumcision is a painful procedure to inflict on a newborn.

After I was circumcised I couldn't walk for a year.

I came up with a new circumcision tool

It's cutting edge technology.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Give his sister an uppercut.

How do you tell the circumference of a pecan

Pecan pi

So a circumference walks into a restaurant...

...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, "You want pie with that?"

I used to circumsize professionally...

Then I got the sack

Never get a circumcision from an unqualified professional

It's a rip off

Circumcising elephants isn't too bad of a job...

The pay is pretty low, but at least the tips are big...

How did you get circumcised? My parents went for the cheap option.

It was a ripoff.

Under what circumstances does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle

I got circumcised on the NHS

Which means the operation was free, you just leave a tip

How much does a circumcision doctor make?

Probably just a tip

Do you know how they circumcise whales?

Four skin divers.

What can you under no circumstance eat for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner

How do you circumcise a Catholic man?

Kick his priest in the jaw

Why is the circumcision Doctor so wealthy?

He gets to keep all of the tips!

What is Pewdie's CIRCUMFERENCE divided by Pewdie's DIAMETER?


How much does a circumciser get paid?

Nothing, he just keeps the tips.

How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick your momma on the chin.

How do you circumcise a jew from Alabama?

Tell his sister to bite down.

When I was circumcised, it hurt so bad...

that I couldn't walk for a whole year!

I got a circumcision.

My foreskin is a threeskin.

Why is circumcision such a thing with the Jews?

They can't resist 10% off.

My circumcision went awfully today...

It was a total rip off.

How do you circumscize a redneck?

By kicking his sister's jaw.

I got circumcised today

It was a rip off


It's the best thing since sliced head.

Why do circumcised men lack Jedi brethren?

The procedure removes their force-kin.

There is an abundance of big jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 63 funniest jokes and circum puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any surround witze you can hear about circum.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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