Circle Jokes

Following is our collection of sphere puns and diameter one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Circle jokes for adults, dirty rectangle jokes and clean circular dad gags for kids.

The Best Circle Puns

My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends

I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.

Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends...

I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins!


(Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.

They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.

The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.

The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.

The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.

Three priests gathered together for a drink .

During their get together ,the host ask the other two :

- How do you split your money with the Lord ?

"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.

The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .

"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.

I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.


A mother shark is teaching her young one how to eat humans.....

"First, you go straight at them and then you circle them. You go straight at them again and circle them again. Finally, you go straight at them and then you eat them"

"But, mom, why can't I just eat them the first time around?"

"Well, I suppose you can, but why would you want to eat them with all the shit still inside?"

What did the Polygon say to the Circle when the Circle wanted to be more edgy?

Triangles.

What does the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.

My friends say there is someone gay in our friend circle...

I hope is john, he's really cute

A psychiatrist was testing a patient's personality. He drew a circle on a paper.

And asked the patient, What does this remind you of?

The patient answered, Sex.

The shrink drew a square and asked again, What does this remind you of?

Sex, the patient replied.

Then the doctor drew a triangle.

It reminds me of sex, the patient stated.

You seem to be obsessed with sex, the shrink told the patient.

*I'm* obsessed with sex? *You're* the one who's drawing the dirty pictures!

Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "


Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.

When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.

While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".

How qualified is a circle?

It has 360 degrees.

A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.

"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.

He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.

"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.

The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

There is no difference.

The joke is you just learned math.

What do you call it when somebody kills a perfect circle of religious leaders?

A 360 No-Pope

I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...

...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"

My Pi Day joke

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".

The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.

So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.

My friend says there's a gay guy in our circle of friends.

I sure hope it's Paul, he's super cute!


I got a job at a circle making factory!

Sadly, I was fired today because I was cutting corners

What do the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for klingons.

Preacher goes to a party

A member of the church decided to call on his preacher to his house one Friday night. The preacher arrives to find a party in full swing.

On entering the house, he sees a circle of naked men with blindfolded women moving from man to man, fondling their genitals in an attempt to guess their identity.

The embarrassed preacher turns to the host and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think I fit in here."

"Nonsense," says the host. "Your name's been called three times already!"

Three Priest are deciding what to do with the church donations for the week

One priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw all the money in tha air and whatever lands inside the circle they give to God. The second priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle they give to God. The third priest suggests that they simply throw the money into the air, and whatever God wants he takes.

I'm addicted to molasses...

It's a viscous circle.

Blind man walks into the grocery store with his seeing eye dog...

The man walks to the middle of the store, bends down, picks his dog up by the tail and begins swinging the dog around in a circle over his head.

The manager of the store approaches him and hesitantly asks, Sir, may I help you? . To which the blind man responds, No thanks. We're just looking around.

My life is a circle...

It's pointless.

What do you do?

So, you are walking around in a forest and see a girl lying on the floor, half naked and clothes tattered. She is weeping heavily, and you can tell she has just been raped.

What do you do?

You check your map, because you have been walking in a circle.

What's round and bad tempered?

A vicious circle

What do you call a bunch of cats sitting in a circle?

The purr-rimiter.

Six months ago, my wife asked me to get in shape.

Since then, I have been eating everything in sight. Today I am proud to say that I am a circle!

A circle accidentally shot a square...

his triangle buddy said, "Well, i guess he's poly-gone."

A circle went to a party uninvited

"This party is only for shapes with edges. You cannot be here.", said the triangle.

The circle replied, sipping his drink, "I know. That's just how I roll."

Why didn't the circle want to become 3 dimensional?

S'fear.

Did you hear about the circle that graduated college

Apparently it got three-hundred and sixty degrees

My favorite joke of all time: What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

They circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

Why are circles so versatile?

They are well rounded.

Circles.

I don't see the point in them.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?

Nobody can.

Why did the triangle not marry the circle?

He was pointless

My mom says that everyone has a beautiful side

So I guess I am a circle

Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?

Because they had a point

The "circle of life" applies to life in general,

your own life is more of a straight line that ends abruptly.




(Credit James Acaster)

My little Hamster is such a laugh!!

He just stays in there on that circle thing going round and round and round for ages until ...

*DING* Then I take him out of the Microwave.

What's the difference between me and a circle?

People like the circle to be a round.

China recently tried to gain favor with the rest of the world by releasing a video of all their native bears, standing in a big circle, to show their repopulation and conservation efforts. Some people thought it was great.

I think it was just panda ring.

"Mommy, Mommy! I'm tired of walking around in a circle!"

"Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"

What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

"Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"

A man goes to a church and asks the priest...

..."How do you know how much money you give to God, and how much do you keep for yourself?"

The priest responds, "I draw a circle on the ground and then stand in it. Next, I shout 'Lord, keep the money you want, but send the rest back down!' Finally, I throw the money up in the air."

You know what I like about ford?

They circle the problem for you.

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."

*Reddit account completes one circle around Reddit's servers*

Redditors: Happy Cake Day!!!

Some gamers think that it's wrong to cheat...

but i think its down right left triangle up square down left square right circle cross

If everyone has a beautiful side,

I guess I'm a circle.

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

β€’ Drinkand Dr.

β€’ Vicious Circle

β€’ West 943,185th Street

β€’ Psycho Path

β€’ Peoples Ct.

β€’ Nofriggin Way

My girlfriend dumped me 5 days before our one year anniversary

I guess you could say we made it full circle

Love every corner

They said you will find love in every corner.

I must say my life is in a circle

I want to make a joke that starts and ends with a bukkake

So that it can come full circle.

How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

Did you hear the one about the astronaut masturbating for ninety minutes in orbit?

He came full circle.

What did the circle weeaboo say when he saw 5 circles?

Notice me 10Ο€

How many sides does a circle have ?

Two.

Inside & Outside

What did they circle say when he found out he wasn't actually a circle?

"Yeah whatever, I'm Oval it"

What do you call a group of network engineers sitting in a circle and getting high?

A tokin' ring.

A triangle was talking to a circle

Triangle: you're pointless.

Circle: I know, that's how I roll.

Shirt Size

While working at a men's department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size, but my hands fit perfectly around his neck!"

The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console

The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.

What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper?

They circle Uranus searching for clingons.

Why did the square breakup with the circle?

She wasn't edgy enough!

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

There is an abundance of loop jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 69 funniest jokes and circle puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ring witze you can hear about circle.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes