Cigarett Jokes
35 cigarett jokes and hilarious cigarett puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cigarett that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cigarett Short Jokes
Short cigarett jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cigarett humour may include short human jokes also.
- 3 guys are on a boat and they have 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. What do they do? They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
- Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
- Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast. My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.
- Cigarette warnings should also include how dangerous it is just going to purchase a package... My dad left 19 years ago to buy some and he still hasn't made it back.
- A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.
- Scariest thing ever The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!
- Cigarettes are just like weasels... Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire.
- I googled "cigarette lighter" and got over 12 million matches. But when i googled "more food" i hardly got any seconds.
- Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up.
- I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
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Cigarett One Liners
Which cigarett one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cigarett? I can suggest the ones about cigarette and harmless.
- I have a dog with no legs I call him cigarette. Every night I take him out for a drag.
- Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air.
- What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours.
- what does god light his cigarettes with? a match made in heaven .-.
- I googled cigarette lighters And got 1,500,000 matches.
- Please don't throw cigarette butts in urinals. It makes them soggy and hard to light.
- Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart and stopped littering
- What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette? Yours.
- Where do dead people buy their cigarettes? At the coroner store.
- Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing? To get some fresh air
- I left my job as a pastor to start a cigarette company It's called "Holy Smokes"
- Why do cigarettes cost so much? Because smokers keep coughing up money.
- What's the best name for a cigarette company? TOBA Co
- What followed the Big Bang? The Big Cigarette
- Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke? Mahalo bro lights.
Howlingly Hilarious Cigarett Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about cigarett you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mouth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cigarett pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..
Grandma's f**... herself again
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This g**... Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture.
I told her that I am looking for matches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I decided to curb our smoking habit a bit by only smoking after s**....
I havnt touched a cigarette in 10 years and shes up to 2 packs a day.
RIP Rodney.
There's a guy who smokes 2 cigarettes together
They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together?
He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison.
After a while they saw him smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is out of the jail?
He said: no, I stopped smoking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-b**... and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"One cigarette each time you have s**..." was the doctor's prescription.
That's how I quit smoking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a h**... and I charge $20 for s**...." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm fine with alchohol, cigarettes and m**...
But coccaine is where I draw the line
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher: What do you do after school?
1st Student: I go and buy w**... from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy c**... from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch...
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took my son to see Santa Claus yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes.
God knows what Santa Claus thought of him.
