Cider Jokes
79 cider jokes and hilarious cider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best dickens cider jokes, dixon cider jokes, savanna cider jokes.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Cider Short Jokes
Short cider jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cider humour may include short apple juice jokes also.
- My girlfriend gets mad at me when I'm having a beer and can't finish... So last night I came in cider.
- My wife calls me "her apple." I agreed, and I replied that I am her apple indeed, because I would very much like to be in cider
- Two brewers made a joke about drowning in beverage. You wouldn't understand it. It's an in-cider joke.
- I recently got in trouble for bartering alcoholic beverages to quaint hotels. I was charged with Inn Cider trading.
- I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider.
- The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land The slogan is "All the girls love a Dickens Cider"
- "You're an idiot!", yelled my wife as she stormed away. And to think, after I just spent 3 hours driving to liquor stores looking for this "Big Dickens' Cider" she said she wanted so badly.
- Brewing company Hart Dickins is catering to its female customer base with a new alcoholic apple cider. After all, what woman wouldn't want a Hart Dickins cider?
- Why do apples avoid being seen with Martha Stewart? to avoid suspicion of in-cider trading
- Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider.
Share These Cider Jokes With Friends
Cider One Liners
Which cider one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cider? I can suggest the ones about liquor and juice.
- What is a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up n cider
- What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider.
- What's an adult actress' favourite drink? 7-Up in Cider.
- Today I slept with a girl in an apple orchard... She let me come in cider
- Why did the chicken cross the apple orchard? To get to the other cider heheheh
- What do you call a spy that sell apples? An in cider
- Local Apple grower was sent to federal prison this week... In cider trading.
- Why did the chicken cross the orchard ? To get to the other cider..
- How do you make hard cider? Put it in the freezer.
- You can call me Apple. Because I'm always in cider.
- Dicken's Brand Cider My wife just can't go to sleep without a warm Dicken's Cider.
- How did the bug fetishist drink her apple juice? She put a spider in cider.
- Why was the liquor trader arrested? Because he was in cider trading
- What brand of cider gets you pregnant? Dickens.
- What did Snow White get when she went to the pub with the Dwarves? Seven Up n' Cider
Apple Cider Jokes
Here is a list of funny apple cider jokes and even better apple cider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm gonna make apple cider using only apples that fell from the tree. I'll call it Apple Suicider
- There was a young lady from Ryde There was a young lady from Ryde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
Inside the lamented,
the apple fermented,
and made cider inside her insides. - Why did the apple cross the road? To get to the other cider.
- I once went out with a girl that was obsessed with apples I didn't realize how crazy she really was until she put me in cider
- I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider.
- What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple? One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.
- Which company makes the best apple cider? Dicken's. Because everyone wants their Dicken's Cider.
- How did the orange know the peach was cheating on him? He saw Apple cider.
- What do you call someone who actively works towards the extinction of apples? An apple cider
- Why did the p**... get angry after having s**... in an apple orchard? Because her client came in cider.
Dickens Cider Jokes
Here is a list of funny dickens cider jokes and even better dickens cider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A range of alcoholic drinks is being produced named after famous authors .... Dickens Cider is proving very popular
- My favorite brand of cider is Dicken's. My wife also loves Dicken's cider. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Have you heard the slogan for Charles Dickens Brand Hard Cider? There is nothing quite like a hard Dickens' Cider!
- Have you tried the new cider? Made by Dicken's.
Hard Cider Jokes
Here is a list of funny hard cider jokes and even better hard cider puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pumpkin Cider? I hardly know her!
- I bought some hard cider yesterday... but I'm still waiting for it to melt.
Great Cider Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about cider you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean whiskey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cider pranks.
When I'm having s**... with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…
I just love the feeling of being in cider.
Took my son for his first drink.
Today I took my son first for his first drink.
I gave him beer. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him cider. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him whiskey. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him v**.... He didn't like it so I drank it.
I then told him that we were going home since he never liked anything. The only problem with going home was that I could barely push his pram out the bar door.
I had s**... in an orchard today.
I came in cider.
I had s**... with a girl in an apple orchard,
I came in cider.
A man was spotted carrying several stolen flannel shirts and scarves, as well as two gallons of cider
when stopped by police the man claimed that he was "just a Fall guy"
I had s**... with a girl at an apple orchid and she ended up getting pregnant...
It's probably because I came in cider.
What did Ciderella say when she got to the Ball?
"*-Gag*-"
How did me and my sugar make our little rosemary?
When things got spicy, it ended with my cumin cider.
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.
It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?
My brother sat down with my girlfriend and I. He said, "Pal, I've got a confession to make. Last night I had s**... with your girlfriend. We went to a party, she was drinking beer, I was drinking wine. One thing led to another..."
I turned to my girlfriend, in shock. "Tell me he's lying."
She said, "He is, it wasn't beer it was cider."
What's a h**...'s favorite drink?
7-up in cider.
I've protected my laptop by placing several alcoholic fruity beverages on top of it.
I guess I misunderstood when people told me to focus on cider security.
My first date couldn't of gone any better!
At the bar she ordered s**... on the beach and I had my Dickins Cider!
Took my son out for his first pint got him a Carlsberg.
He didn't like it. I drank it got him a Fosters.
He didn't like it. I drank it.
Same with the Guinness, the cider and the whiskey.
By the end of the night, I could hardly push his pram home.
It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic
One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell
An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink.
The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it.
The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead.
He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider.
Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whiskey instead.
He didn't like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up.
By the time they left the bar. The father was so drunk he could barely push his son's stroller home.
Jack got chatting with a girl in a bar last night,
"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.
""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," Jack assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love.
While J was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
Jack said, "My wife found out."
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.
Got him a Bud...... he didn't like it - I had it.
Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.
It was the same with Guinness and Cider.
By the time we got down to the whiskey I could hardly push the b**... pram.
