Cider Jokes

What are some Cider jokes?

What is a pornstars favorite drink?

7 up n cider

Why did the prostitute get angry after having sex in an apple orchard?

Because her client came in cider.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Son: "Dad where did I come from?"

Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."

Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."

Dad: "I slipped in cider."

I had sex with a girl in an apple orchard,

I came in cider.

What's better than being up to your knees in beer?

Being up to your nuts in cider.

When I'm having sex with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…

I just love the feeling of being in cider.

Today I slept with a girl in an apple orchard...

She let me come in cider

What's an adult actress' favourite drink?

7-Up in Cider.

Why did the chicken cross the apple orchard?

To get to the other cider heheheh

I had sex in an orchard today.

I came in cider.

My girlfriend gets mad at me when I'm having a beer and can't finish...

So last night I came in cider.

What do you call a spy that sell apples?

An in cider

What's a hooker's favorite drink?

7-up in cider.

I had sex with a girl at an apple orchid and she ended up getting pregnant...

It's probably because I came in cider.

Local Apple grower was sent to federal prison this week...

In cider trading.

I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere.

Then suddenly I slipped in cider.

How do you make hard cider?

Put it in the freezer.

"You're an idiot!", yelled my wife as she stormed away.

And to think, after I just spent 3 hours driving to liquor stores looking for this "Big Dickens' Cider" she said she wanted so badly.

The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land

The slogan is "All the girls love a Dickens Cider"

My brother sat down with my girlfriend and I. He said, "Pal, I've got a confession to make. Last night I had sex with your girlfriend. We went to a party, she was drinking beer, I was drinking wine. One thing led to another..."

I turned to my girlfriend, in shock. "Tell me he's lying."

She said, "He is, it wasn't beer it was cider."

Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples?

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider.

Dicken's Brand Cider

My wife just can't go to sleep without a warm Dicken's Cider.

How did the bug fetishist drink her apple juice?

She put a spider in cider.

What did Ciderella say when she got to the Ball?


A range of alcoholic drinks is being produced named after famous authors

.... Dickens Cider is proving very popular

I've protected my laptop by placing several alcoholic fruity beverages on top of it.

I guess I misunderstood when people told me to focus on cider security.

My first date couldn't of gone any better!

At the bar she ordered sex on the beach and I had my Dickins Cider!

How did me and my sugar make our little rosemary?

When things got spicy, it ended with my cumin cider.

A man was spotted carrying several stolen flannel shirts and scarves, as well as two gallons of cider

when stopped by police the man claimed that he was "just a Fall guy"

I'm gonna make apple cider using only apples that fell from the tree.

I'll call it Apple Suicider

What brand of cider gets you pregnant?


Why was the liquor trader arrested?

Because he was in cider trading

What did Snow White get when she went to the pub with the Dwarves?

Seven Up n' Cider

There was a young lady from Ryde

There was a young lady from Ryde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
Inside the lamented,
the apple fermented,
and made cider inside her insides.

My favorite brand of cider is Dicken's.

My wife also loves Dicken's cider. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

What was the investment broker doing sneaking around the cider mill?

He was looking for in-cider information.

I met a girl at a pub last night...

I ended up getting deep in cider.

Took my son for his first drink.

Today I took my son first for his first drink.
I gave him beer. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him cider. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him whiskey. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I gave him vodka. He didn't like it so I drank it.
I then told him that we were going home since he never liked anything. The only problem with going home was that I could barely push his pram out the bar door.

Why did the apple cross the road?

To get to the other cider.

Have you heard the slogan for Charles Dickens Brand Hard Cider?

There is nothing quite like a hard Dickens' Cider!

What's a woman's favourite brand of Applejack?

Dickson Cider

Which company makes the best apple cider?

Dicken's. Because everyone wants their Dicken's Cider.

These two brothers had been chasing her all summer, so she finally relented and agreed to their odd, but innocent sounding request take a hot apple juice bath with them.

Finally they'll get to be in cider

How to make Cider jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Cider to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Cider? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Cider pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes