The Best 15 Chute Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chute jokes. There are some chute cord jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chute jump puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chute Jokes and Puns
A rabbi and a priest...
take a group of kids on a spiritual trip to the Holy Land. During the flight, the pilot announces,
" The plane is going down, we only have two parachutes. I'm taking one. You guys figure out who gets the other one"
The priest says, " We should give it to one of the kids."
The rabbi grabs the chute and says, " I have a life to live! F*ck the kids! "
The priest thinks, and says,
"Do you think we have time?? "
Two Parachutists
Two parachutists jumped out of a plane, they had headsets on so they could talk to each other on the way down.
One man's parachute opened, the other one's didn't.
The guy with the defective chute was falling fast but appeared to be slowly and very calmly trying to figure out the issue. Appeared to be in no rush.
The other guy with the good chute said Hey, you look so calm and collected. Why are you taking your time? Why aren't you panicking?
The guy with the unopened chute said Hey, why should I rush? I've got the rest of my life to figure it out .
A young soldier was making his first parachute jump.
The corporal explained the procedure "You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn't open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up."
The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary "Geronimo! " and jumped out of the plane. He counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. The chute failed to open. He pulled the second ripcord and the chute still didn't open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that goddamn truck won't be there either."
A man goes to buy a parachute
He asks the cashier,
what happens if the parachute fails to deploy?
The cashier responds: Oh, Just pull the reserve chute, you will be fine.
The man asks again: What if the reserve chute fails???
The cashier responds: Well, In that case bring it back and we will give you a full refund!
A skydiver jumps from a plane
but nothing happens when he pulls his rip-cord. He pulls the cord on his secondary chute, but this too is broken. As he is hurdling toward the earth, he sees a man coming straight up toward him. 'Hey!' shouts the skydiver. 'Know anything about parachutes?!' 'No!' shouts the man. 'Know anything about gas barbecues?!'
Just before a redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him,
"Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up."
The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened.
He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened.
As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself, "I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"
The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students
one of them asked the usual question always asked: "If our chute doesn't open; and the reserve doesn't open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?"
The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."
Where does Frozone put his laundry?
Down his super chute.
A guy goes skydiving...
and there's a blind guy on the plane going up with him. The blind guy has a seeing eye dog with him and a really really long leash. As they're going up the guy asks him, "Why bring the dog with you?"
The blind guys says, "He jumps first to let me know when to pull my chute."
"How does he do that?" the man asked.
"The leash goes slack"
What happened when the parachuter's chute...
...failed to open, right over the clock factory?
He fell on hard times.
What did the forgetful skydiver say when he jumped out of the plane
Aw chute!
You can explore chute slide reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chute panic dad jokes. There are also chute puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The parachute making business must be great!
Because nobody ever comes back to complain about a failed chute!
What does a panda say when it's out of food?
Chute
Fast Thinker
Guy's first time parachuting... yada yada chute fails, reserve fails. He's falling. But he sees a speck coming up toward him, faster than he's falling. He realizes it's a guy and figuring he has nothing to lose, he yells,
"Hey do you know anything about parachutes?"
and as they pass the other guy yells back,
"Sorry man, I don't . Do you know anything about propane BBQs?"
I got injured in the playground today.
Chute.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chute skydiver jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chute plummet piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.