Church Choir Jokes
16 church choir jokes and hilarious church choir puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about church choir that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Church Choir Short Jokes
Short church choir jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The church choir humour may include short choir jokes also.
- MAN 1: "how do you get a church singing group?" MAN 2 "You mean a choir?"
MAN 1 "Ok fine, how do you _aquire_ a church singing group?" - A gospel choir leader with a lisp embezzled tens of thousands of dollars from his church. But eventually he got caught and had to faith the music.
- Did you hear about that church choir whose priest sings lead? They needed someone in A minor.
- Free singing lessons at the church children's choir are like Facebook: If it's free, you are the product!
- Though I grew up with a religious family, I never got used to the music they play in churches. Turns out it's an a choired taste.
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Church Choir One Liners
Which church choir one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with church choir? I can suggest the ones about church bells and choir boys.
- I don't like talking about my childhood as a church choir boy it is a touchy subject
- What do you call an all male identifying, church choir? The He/Hymns
Ba dump - The first time I sang in the church choir... Two hundred people changed their religion.
Uproarious Church Choir Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about church choir you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean church pew jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make church choir pranks.
Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
A man goes to his church to ask the priest a question.
"How much does it cost to get a church-singing group?" the man asks.
The priest replies, "you mean, a choir?"
"Uh, okay, I didn't think that mattered. How much does it cost to *acquire* a church-singing group?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man and his husband walk into a local church...
A man and his husband walk into a local church, holding hands and being affectionate during the entire ceremony, to the ire of one of the elderly choir women.
Once it has finished, she approaches the two men and quotes from the bible:
>"Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the s**... immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have s**... with men will inherit the kingdom of God"
The man, taken aback, retorts with:
>"Women are to be silent in the churches. They are not permitted to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says."
A rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a Protestant minister are talking in a bar.
They bet each other that they can convert a bear to their religion. At dawn the next day, they meet at the edge of the forest and wish each other luck before setting out. At the end of the day, they meet each other again on three separate stretchers. The priest is all beat up. He has a broken arm and a black eye. "The bear put up a good fight", he says, "but he's coming to church on Sunday to get baptised". The minister is in worse shape than the priest. He has two black eyes, a broken arm, and a broken leg. "It was tough," he says, "but I got the bear to join the church choir, singing baritone." The rabbi is in the worst shape of the three of them. He has two black eyes and all his arms and legs are broken. "In hindsight," he says, "I guess I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."
There was once a man born with no arms...
So his family gave him to the local church. At first they had a hard time figuring out what to do with an armless guy, so they just had him teach choir. But one day, It was time for mass, and no one was there except the armless man. He knew the bell had to be rung to summon the people, so he walked up the stairs to the bell tower. After contemplating for a bit, he ran straight up to the bell and rung it with his face. When the minister and everyone else returned, they were so amazed with his performance that they designated him the official bell ringer. So he went on like that every day, slamming his face into the bell to ring it. One day, however, he slipped and fell off the bell tower to his death. Citizens crowded around him in horror. "does anyone know this armless guy?" a man called out. " I'm not sure," said another guy, " but his face sure rings a bell."