Chunks Jokes
66 chunks jokes and hilarious chunks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chunks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chunks Short Jokes
Short chunks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chunks humour may include short bits jokes also.
- A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today I didn't think that was very mature.
Fortunately, it wasn't sharp. - Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy. The trick is to cut up the vegans in to very small chunks first.
- I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake. It had some chunks, but it was delicious.
- "Man, I got so drunk last night I blew chunks..." "Don't worry, dude; we've all done that at some point"
"You don't understand, Chunks is my dog..." - I got so drunk last night, that this morning I was blowing chunks! Worst part is, Chunks is my dog.
- There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal. We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!
- "Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend." He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.
- A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt in hand... ...He walks up to the bar and says to the bartender, "one for me and one for the road".
- A man walks into a bar. . . A man walks into a bar carrying a chunk of asphalt.
To the bartender, he says, "I'll have two beers, one for me and one for the road." - Defrosting a freezer is like picking your nose It's so satisfying when you manage to pull out an exceptionally large chunk!
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Chunks One Liners
Which chunks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chunks? I can suggest the ones about slice and parts.
- A chunk of wood that can make nice beats. Logarithms...
_Here come the down votes._ - Yo mama so fat... It takes more than a single processor to load her chunks.
- How do you carve a huge chunk of wood? Whittle by whittle.
- Did you hear about that massive chunk of gold? It's au-fully heavy.
- What do you call a fat Chinese man? A chunk.
- I was supposed to pay $500 for a single chunk of metal what a steel....
- Got so drunk last night I blew chunks Chunks is my dog
- I got so drunk last night i blew chunks! Chunks is my dogs name.
- What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk
- I found a cool chunk of gold yesterday... It was (Au)some
- What do you call small anti-Semitic chunks of ice falling from the sky? Heil
- What do you call a fat Asian? A chunk
- I got so drunk last night I blew chunks. I can't even pet him now.
- What's the mass of a large chunk of tree? 10g
- What do old women and cottage cheese have in common? They come in chunks.
Comedy Chunks Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about chunks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean batch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chunks pranks.
a man orders a shot at a bar...
the bartender is feeling nice and offers to give him one for free. the man declines saying,
"sorry i'll blow chunks if i take that"
"oh come on, live a little" says the bartender, "everyone pukes once in a while"
"no, you don't understand" says the man, "chunks is my dog"
So a guy walks into a bar...
So a guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Whiskey?"
"No," says the customer, "just water; i was so drunk last night that I went home and blew Chunks."
The bartender tries to console him, saying "Oh come now, everyone gets a bit wasted from time to time."
To which the guy replies, "No, you don't understand: Chunks is my dog."
Blowing chunks
Two guys are talking and one asks the other, "Hey, you wanna go drinking later, I just got promoted?"
The other replies, "Thanks, but I can't."
"Aw, come one why not?"
"Cause last time I went drinking, I blew chunks."
"That's normal, people v**... after drinking all the time."
"No, you don't understand; Chunks is my dog."
drinking
A guy says to his friend "Man, I feel terrible. Last night I drank too much, came home and blew chunks."
Friend says "aw don't worry mate, that happens to all of us"
Guy says "you don't understand; my dog's name is 'Chunks'"
Two friends are talking...
and the first guy notices his buddy is looking like he has something bugging him.
He asks his friend, "Man, you look like you got something on your mind. What's up?"
"I just had a rough night. I went to the bar, got falling-down drunk, and when I got home, I wrecked my car into the tree. What's even worse is when I went inside, I started blowing chunks." Man number two explains.
The first friend says, "That's terrible about your car. How is that not the worst part?"
The second man says, "Chunks is my dog."
Blowing chunks
At work, three friends get into an argument over who got more wasted the night before.
"I got so drunk last night, when I got home I blew chunks," said the first man.
"I got so drunk last night, I had to sleep outside because I couldn't make it inside my house," said the second man.
But the third man was certain he got more wasted than his friends. "I got so drunk, I set my entire house on fire!" he argued.
"I don't think you guys understand," said the first man. "My dog's name is chunks."
Chunks
A guy walks into a beer store, and asks the employee,
Guy: This is my first time buying beer, what do you recommend?
Employee: Bud Light is popular?
Guy: I'll take a 24 then. Same guy comes into the same beer store a week later and asks the same employee for a 24 of different beer.
Employee: Did you not like the Bud Light?
Guy: No, it made me blow chunks.
Employee: That happens to all of us if we drink to much.
Guy: You don't understand, Chunks is my dog.
Anything but Guinness...
A guy goes into a liquor store and the guy behind the counter asks if he needs any help. He says "I'll take a case of beer please. Anything but Guinness!"
Clerk: "Sure buddy, but what's wrong with Guinness? It's one of our top sellers!"
Guy: "I don't have anything bad to say about the taste or anything like that, it's just that the last time I drank a case of Guinness to myself, I blew chunks!"
Clerk: "I don't think Guinness is your issue... If you drink a case of any beer to yourself you will blow chunks!"
Guy: "No sir, you don't understand. See, Chunks is my dog!"
So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day
...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."
A man walks into his regular bar..
He takes an open seat next to the bartender. He and the bartender are good friends so they begin to talk.
"You want the same thing as yesterday? I just got restocked on your usual.."
"Nah. I don't drink that anymore. I drank so much that when I got home I started blowing chunks."
"Well...anyone who has 7 beers will usually throw up from it...doesn't mean you can't drink it anymore," said the bartender.
The customer replies, "No, you don't understand. My dog's name is Chunks."
Man walks into a bar and orders a water...
The bartender, looking puzzled, says to the guy "but you were just in here last night getting hammered. What gives?"
The man responds, "Yeah, I quit drinking after I went home last night and blew chunks."
The bartender says, "That's not a big deal man. Everyone does it."
And the man says, "you don't understand. Chunks is my dog."
Three drunks sitting at a bar
Three drunks sitting at a bar discussing who was the most drunk the previous day.
1st drunk says "I was so drunk last night i went home and blew chunks".
The 2nd drunk says "that's nothing! I was so drunk last night I drove home and crashed into a tree, kicked my front door down and woke up in the garden!".
3rd drunk says "that's nothing! I was so drunk last night I stole a police car drove it into my house, threw the TV out of the window and wet the bed!".
The 1st drunk says "I don't think you understood me, Chunks is my dog.".
I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours...
Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog.
Yoda stands in the doorway, surveying the crime scene.
The victim is lying face down on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Huge chunks have been taken out of him, and clear teeth marks are visible around the open wounds. Against a nearby wall lies the suspected killer. Mouth full of blood (likely not his own) and back broken in such a way that he can't have lasted long.
Yoda's partner, Luke, looks around in disgust.
"What do you think? Open and shut case of m**... s**...?"
Yoda stares grimly, nods, but says nothing.
Yoda walks into the room, and walks around the corpse on the floor.
"So should I just go ahead and tell Nine's family?" Luke says.
Yoda looks at Luke with a glimmer in his eye. "Eaten alive, this man was. Disfigured, he is. Nine, he looks like. But Nine, this man is not. Six, Seven eight."
Went out last night, i got so wasted that when i got home apparently i blew chunks.
Chunks is my dogs name.
A guy calls his friend about the previous night of drinking....
"man, I was so drunk last night that when I got home I blew chunks"
his friend replies, "It's okay buddy, I did too".
"no........chunks is my dog."
I drank so much I blew Chunks
Jon : Oh Ted, I had a terrible night. I drank so much that when I got home, I blew chunks.
Ted: Hey, thats not so bad. At least you were in the comfort of your own home.
Jon: No, you dont understand. Chunks is my dog...
A guy is sitting in a bar...
And in walks a friend he hasn't seen in a few weeks. Being curious as to where his buddy has been, he asks what's been going on. His friend replies "after that last bender we had I figured it was time to lay off the sauce for a while". The first guy asks "what was so bad that you felt the need to cut back?" Well, says the second guy, after we got hammered I went home and blew chunks." That's nothing to be ashamed of says the first guy, we've all done it. The second guy gives a mournful shake of his head and says "you don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"
My friend got so drunk he blew chunks
Saw my friend come into work one morning looking hung over
Me: Had a rough time last night?
Friend: Yeah, I got so drunk I blew chunks!
Me: We've all thrown up after drinking, nothing to be ashamed of.
Friend: Chunks is my dog!
A man phones the customer service of a beer company.
A man phones the customer service of a beer company.
Customer service: "Hello, what can I help you with today?"
Man: "There is something wrong with your beer, it made me blow chunks!"
Customer service: "Well ya, it'll do that."
Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!"
A man said to me, "Man, I was so wasted last night I went home and blew chunks!"
I said, "most people are sick after drinking too much."
"No, you don't understand." he replied. "Chunks is my pitbull."
Congratulations! You successfully delivered that bell with no chips or chunks of it breaking off. Please see us to receive your...
No Bell Piece Prize
A man is sobbing into his beer...
It being a slow night, the bartender asks him what's wrong and offers him some sympathy.
The man responds "My roommate says I should quit drinking, last night I came home and I blew chunks all over the living room."
"Harsh," the bartender replies, "But that's hardly a reason to quit drinking."
"No man, I blew chunks in the kitchen, I blew chunks on the stairs, I blew chunks in the bathroom, I blew chunks EVERYWHERE."
"I'd hate to agree with your roommate, seeing as how that means less business for me, but maybe he's got a point. That's an awful lot of v**... to have to mop up..."
"No, no, you don't understand," The man sobbed, "Chunks is my Dog."
Man walks into a bar
Says to the bartender "let me get a bottle of anything that's not v**...."
Bartender says "why not v**...?"
Man replies "well I drank a whole bottle of that last night and blew chunks."
Bartender says "drink a whole bottle of anything and you'll throw up."
Man says "no you don't understand, chunks is my dog."
Why do jews v**... with their teeth clenched?
To keep the larger chunks in
Guy walks into a bar.
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender notices the guy and says "are you okay? You look terrible!" The guy says "yeah, i had kind of a rough night last night. I drank way too much and blew chunks." "Well that doesn't sound so bad" says the bartender. And then the guy says "no you don't understand. Chunks is my dog."
A guy goes into a bar . . .
. . . and the bartender offers him a Budweiser.
"No thanks," the guy says. "Last weekend I drank a case of Budweiser and I blew chunks."
"Well of course," the bartender says. "Anyone would throw up after drinking a case of beer."
"No, you don't understand," the guy says. "Chunks is my Great Dane!"
A man walks into a bar...
And asks the bartender "Get me a drink. I'll take anything but Bud Lite."
Bartender asks "What do you have against Bud Lite?"
"Well last time I drank that stuff I killed 21 bottles, went home and blew chunks." He answered
"You must be s**...! Drinking 21 of anything will make you blow chunks." Replied the bartender
"I think you misunderstood." Says the man "Chunks is my dog!"
I once...
I once strained a can of pineapple juice into the sink thinking it was pineapple chunks.
Give a man a fish...
He eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Give the man some dynamite and there will be little chunks of fish all over the village.
My buddy came to me after a night of drinking and said...
"I drank moonshine last night and blew chunks. Now I'm embarrassed." I said, "no need to be embarrassed my son, we all have gotten sick from the shine." He said, "you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...
They met for brunch for the next day.
Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...
Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.
Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.
It went silent for a minute.
Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.
What did the German general say to the fuhrer when ice chunks started to damage the planes?
hail, h**...!
A night of drinking
After a night of heavy drinking at the bars, 3 girls meet up the next day to recall their drunkin night
Girl 1: I was so drunk last night when I got home I blew chunks for hours!
Girl 2: That's nothing! When I got home I couldn't even make it to the toilet and threw up all over my bathroom walls!
Girl 3: You think that's bad. When I got home I went straight to bed and woke up with p**... all over me and my bed sheets.
Girls 2 and 3 are laughing hysterically after hearing about their crazy night when Girl 1 quietly interrupts and says I don't think you two understand, chunks is my dog.
I was in a chemistry class
We were dissolving a solid pill in water. While everyone else's dissolved completely, mine had a few chunks left in the water. I asked the instructor what's the problem, but she just told me "whatever it is, you dont have a solution".
Three guys go to a bar
They get really, really, really drunk.
They meet up the next day. Guy #1 says, "I got so drunk last night that I passed out right in the bar."
Guy #2 says, "That's nothing. I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks."
Guy #3 says, "That's nothing. I got so drunk last night that on the way home I got pulled over by a cop and got arrested for DWI."
Guy #2 says, "That's nothing. Chunks is my dog."
So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.
Me: what would you recommend?
Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.
Me: sounds good .
Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.
Me: awesome, noted.
Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.
Me: weird flecks, but ok!
Guy calls his buddy and says, "Hey man, I'm throwing a party this weekend!"
"Gonna get a case of beer; what are you thinking?"
Buddy responds, "Anything but Heineken is cool with me. Drank a case of Heineken last weekend, and I blew chunks."
Guy says, "Dude, drinking a whole case of anything is going to make you p**...."
Buddy responds, "No, man, you don't understand... Chunks is my dog."
Man walks into a bar
Tells the bartender he needs four shots. Leaves drunk. He comes back the next day, tells the bartender "man i threw up last night!" And yet orders 4 more shots. He leaves drunk. The next day the same thing happens. "I threw up again, i need four more." Again, he leaves drunk.
On the fourth night the guy walks in and tells the bartender, "man i was so drunk last night i blew chunks!" Bartender replies, "well that's happened every night, maybe drink less?" The man goes "nah man, chunks is my dog! But you're probably right!"
3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...
1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".
2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5 grand to fix".
3rd woman goes "When I got home I decided to take a bath and light some candles. I was so drunk, I passed out, knocked over the candles and ended up burning down my whole house".
1st woman exclaims "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"
A man walks into a bar, his head hung in shame.
"What'll it be?" asks the bartender.
The man says, "Just a club soda. I think I'm done drinking."
The bartender fills the order. "Why?"
"Well," the man says, "Last night I got so drunk, I went home and blew chunks."
"I've been tending bar for 25 years," the bartender sympathizes, "and I have seen a lot of people v**... after drinking too much. It's not that big of a deal."
The man takes a long sip of the soda. "You don't understand," he says. "Chunks is my dog."
