The Best 50 Chuckle Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chuckle jokes. There are some chuckle grin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chuckle flown puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chuckle Jokes and Puns

What is an Amish woman's biggest fantasy?

Two Mennonite.

(This joke is literally a hundred years old and makes me chuckle every time I get to tell it. Probably a repost. Don't care.)

Probably old, but I got it in email and it made me chuckle.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her
return, her father cursed her heavily. "Where have ye been all this
time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why
didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother
through?""

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad...I became...a prostitute."

"Ye what!!? Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $2 million savings certificate.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex, And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an
invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" asks Dad.

The girl, crying again answered, "Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy!
Sniff, sniff."

"Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!"

Old joke about tomato's, still makes me chuckle a bit though.

Three tomato's are walking down the street, momma tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind, daddy tomato gets angry turns around and squishes baby tomato and says.......ketchup.

Chuckle joke, Old joke about tomato's, still makes me chuckle a bit though.

Probably already been said, but it made me chuckle when I thought of it.

A man has been found dead in central London this evening, reports confirm the man died due to being stabbed with a triangular knife.

Police are calling it an isoscelated incident.

Why did the fruit turn into a vegetable?

It got AIDS

Oldie and offensive to some I know. But it made me chuckle.


A bus full of ugly people crashes

A bus full of ugly people crashes and everyone inside now stands at the gates of heaven. St. Peter announces to them "Before you enter heaven, I will grant unto each of you one wish." He approaches the first ugly person and the man says "I wish I was beautiful." Right as he says this the last ugly person in line starts to chuckle. So one by one St. Peter goes down the line, each person wishes "I wish I was beautiful", and every time someone wishes that, the last person laughs harder and harder. Finally, St. Peter reaches the last man, who at this point is on the ground crying he's laughing so hard. St. Peter asks him "Well, what is your wish?" to which the man replies, "Make them all ugly again!"

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots...

Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Chuckle joke, What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Sitting around the outdoor campfire I chuckle to myself

My friend asks, what's so funny?

I reply, "I can't tell you out here, it's an inside joke."

What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire.

My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

My dad used to tell me this all the time when I was little. Still makes me chuckle to this day.

Joke from my daughter.

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!

no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

You can explore chuckle repost reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chuckle funny dad jokes. There are also chuckle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".

The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

Two jungle explorers got captured by cannibals...

Now they find themselves in a giant cauldron full of water over an open fire. The water is getting warmer and warmer and both of them realize they're done for. So they're sitting there not sure what to do when one of them lets out a chuckle. "how could you laugh at a time like this?" says the other one, "we're both about to die!".

"I know...but I just peed in their soup."

The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep

They've got a 2 metre ewe.

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs

Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

A boy tells his father that humans are cruel

"Hmm okay, but why?" asked the father.

"Well some people out there are hanging horses" said the son.

The father let out a confused chuckle, "What do you mean people are hanging horses?!"

The son tells him "well I overheard mum telling her friend that the plumber who came over to fix the drain pipes was hung like a horse."

Chuckle joke, A boy tells his father that humans are cruel

David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip.

He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, "wait a minute, why Detroit?"

David answers, "Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"

Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him "Yeah, i know that one."

"Well, I missed and hit the trash can."

I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf...

But I don't want to jump to conclusions.

Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.

What kind of vegetable is the craziest to eat? [OC]

Plantains ā€“ it's just bananas!

Thought this up while at work today, might not be original but it gave me a chuckle :)


New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts'

Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....

After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.

'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.

Why did the woman blush when she opened her refrigerator?

Because she saw the salad dressing.

I had never heard this until today. Made me chuckle a bit.

100 nuns are in a prayer session.

After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a condom in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"There was a hole in that condom."
99 nuns chuckle, while one gasps.

There's two cats, and both have to swim across a lake.

The first cats name is One, two, three, while the second cats name is Un, deux, trois. Which cat makes it to the other side of the lake?

One, two, three makes it across because Un, deux trois, quatre, cinq.

This is by far one of the worst jokes I've ever heard and you can only understand it if you know some French. Regardless it never ceases to make me chuckle.

Did you hear that doctors have finally found a cure for alzheimers?

This is so historic that the government has declared this a day of remembrance.

 

This might not get any traction but I just thought of it and made myself chuckle a little.

Abcdefghijklmntofsuprise!

Iļø know it's dumb but Iļø thought of that all by myself and it made me chuckle.

At the Doctor's Office

Was at the doctor's office to get a check up this morning:

*doctor pulls out needle for shot*

Me: Oh boy, needles make me a little nervous. I'm not gonna look.

Doctor: That's okay. I won't either.

Then he gave me the shot before I had the chance to chuckle!

A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it, he comes to low bridge and gets stuck under it...cars are backed up for miles behind him....

Eventually, a cop car pulls up, the officer gets out and walks up, laughing hysterically and pointing at the trucker.

He puts his hands on his hips and says with a chuckle, "Got stuck, eh?"

The trucker replies, "No sir, not at all, you see, I was delivering this bridge when I ran out of gas..."

My grandpa told me this one today

There was a boy who lived on a farm. He decided that he wanted to pull an Easter prank. So the next morning he went into the hen house and swapped out all the eggs for colorful Easter eggs. When the rooster came in he took one look at the eggs and then immediate ran and killed the peacock.

Not the best joke but it made me chuckle

The police are using sperm now as a way of fingerprinting people.

I don't know what was wrong with the old ink pad myself.

Makes me chuckle every time, name that sitcom.

A postal carrier is working on a new beat.......

when all of a sudden he comes upon a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT!

Befuddled, he looks down the walk and into the garden and, sure enough, there is indeed a parrot sitting on its perch.

He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch.

The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden.

He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly the parrot calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"

Dihydrogen Monoxide

Only about 1 out of 10 people will recognize the reference and get a chuckle out of it. The other half probably won't get the second joke either.

Barry Chuckle died today. Oh dear.

Oh dear, Oh dear.

Its a real shame about Bary Chuckle

He always be a British legend to me, and to you.

Despite what people think, it's not all doom and gloom being a morgue attendant.

This morning I had a right little Chuckle.

I've just seen that Barry Chuckle has died, he meant a lot to me

to you

My 5yo son just told me this joke and it made me chuckle so thought I'd share... "Mom, if I had twenty apples in this hand (shakes left hand) and twenty apples in this hand (shakes right hand), what would I have?..."

"Massive hands!"

My doctor said I was pessimistic.

Once, there was a shark who bit-off the left side of my body; he let out a small chuckle and said,

"I'm very sorry for this, but I think you are all right."

I replied, "Seriously, doc? I have nothing left."

Canada got it all wrong!

So Canada got it all wrong. I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!

Heard this about 20 years ago and it still makes me chuckle. Can't beat a good stereotype!

What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).

Telegram

Telephone

Tell a woman

Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.

What does a frog do with a piece of paper?

Rip it!

6 year old son just came up with this. I'm sure he's not the first to think of it, but he came up with it on his own and i got a good chuckle out of it. :)

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head while I give these two a lift!

(Sorry if you've heard this one before. It made me chuckle.)

A big moron and a little moron were standing on a bridge, the big moron fell off

The other was a little more on.

(Sorry if this is a repost, I just remembered my dad telling it forever ago and thought I'd share because it made me chuckle)

A man asked a scholar if it is okay to scratch your hand while in pilgrimage...

Hey guys, it is bedtime now and am pretty depressed after a long bad day. Remembering this story-found in Arabic literature-made me chuckle so I hope it will brighten your day too.

A man asked a scholar if it is okay to scratch own arm while in pilgrimage?

The scholar: yes, you can.

Man: to what extent?

The scholar: until you see the bones!!!

Do you know how you can tell that women mature faster than men?

Men don't grow boobs until they turn 40.

(Credit goes to the old guy who made me chuckle today at work)

A young woman is golfing when suddenly she is stung by a bee.

She decides to return back to the clubhouse to get first aid. She walks up to the men running the clubhouse and tells them that she was stung.

One man asks, "Where were you stung?".

She replies, "Between the first and second holes".

The men chuckle and then one tells her,

"Your stance is too wide"

A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing

On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.

The first brunette only made it to the first stair.

The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.

The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.

The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.

She replied I finally got the first joke

My 8 year old claims to have just made this up and it made me chuckle. I hope you enjoy too. What is your mouth's favorite exercise?

What is your mouth's favorite exercise?

Burpees

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide! My 5 year old told me this. I'm sure it isn't OC, but I got a chuckle.

I'm on a long bus ride when I get a tap on the shoulder...

I turn around and an old gal says to me, "Want some nuts?"
I chuckle and say, "Sure, thanks."

A couple of minutes later she taps me again and asks if I want more nuts. I politely accept.

The third time she offers I smile and ask her, "Don't you like nuts?"
She replies, "No, I don't. I only like the chocolate around them."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chuckle laugh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chuckle smartass piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes