chuck norris Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chuck norris puns

Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.



Chuck Norris coronavirus joke

Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people

Then the grenade exploded.


Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.


What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

You're the man of the house now


Chuck Norris was shot today

The bullet is in critical condition


One time Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 47 people

Then the grenade exploded


Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris

Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.


Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.


Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him

So he tracked down nothing and killed it


Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity...

He got it back.


What did Chuck Norris tell his father before he went off to college?

"you're the man of the house now"


Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.


Chuck Norris Threw A Grenade and Killed 27 People.

Then It Exploded.


Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test

The machine confessed everythingο»Ώ


Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield


Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.


Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet

He scares the shit out of it.


TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.


I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD


Why did Chuck Norris' aunt give birth to him?

Because nobody dared fuck his mother


What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.


Chuck Norris got stabbed

The knife bled to death


Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.


There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....

...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.


Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands.

Now they're just the Islands.


How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them


Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds

and the ice cream machine was working.


Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4


Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn

He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.


Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.

The cobra died


Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.

When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.


Some Chuck Norris Jokes

- Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.

- Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.

- When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.

- Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.

- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.

- Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

- When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy, Chuck Norris caught the bullets with his own bare hands. JFK's head exploded simply because he was so overawed.


Chuck Norris has died.

He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.


What are the most funny Chuck Norris jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chuck Norris? Well, here are the best Chuck Norris dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chuck Norris pick up lines to share with friends.

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