Chuck Norris Jokes

160 chuck norris jokes and hilarious chuck norris puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about chuck norris that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a laugh, then look no further than these hilarious Chuck Norris jokes. From his famous roundhouse kicks to his unrivaled martial arts skills, Norris is the stuff of legend.

Best Short Chuck Norris Jokes

Short chuck norris jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chuck norris humour may include short morning chuckle jokes also.

  1. Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
  2. Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
    Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
  3. What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard? My personal favorite is: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
  4. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men. It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
  5. Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
  6. Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoe to protect his feet from the ground...

    He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
  7. Chuck Norris actually died four years ago Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
  8. What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? Let's start with one of my favs:
    "Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."
  9. What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college? You're the man of the house now
  10. Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

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Chuck Norris joke, Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about chuck norris can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of chuck norris puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Chuck Norris One Liners

Which chuck norris one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chuck norris? I can suggest the ones about chuckle and wood chuck.

  1. What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
  2. Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
  3. Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade Then the grenade exploded.
  4. Chuck Norris called 911 And asked if they needed help.
  5. Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people Then the grenade exploded.
  6. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people. Then it exploded.
  7. Chuck Norris was shot today The bullet is in critical condition
  8. Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword Then 20 more without the sheath
  9. Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars... he played The Force
  10. If Chuck Norris hadn't existed... Chuck Norris would have invented him.
  11. Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
  12. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
  13. Chuck Norris had a nightmare The nightmare ran into its moms room crying
  14. When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
  15. Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity... He got it back.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kick the ocean. That's why we have tides now.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
  • What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in? A roundhouse.
  • Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
    They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
  • Chuck Norris got a new pair of shoes Roundhouse kicks
  • People say that time heals all wounds.
    They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
  • With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
  • Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse kick jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse kick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
  • The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
  • Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
    Nobody would survive anyway.
  • If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
  • Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
    The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
  • It is better to give than to receive.
    This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  • My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
    It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
  • It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
  • He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
    He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
  • When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
    She is now known as Britney Spears.

Chuck Norris Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris beard jokes and even better chuck norris beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
  • There were plans to have Chuck Norris's face on Mt. Rushmore Unfortunately, the plans had to be scrapped because the granite was too soft to make his beard.
  • A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
  • Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
    A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
  • Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
  • Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
  • Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
  • Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
    They are used as bullet proof vests.
  • They wanted to add Chuck Norris's face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
  • Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
    When the last line is drawn, that man dies!

Chuck Norris Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris born jokes and even better chuck norris born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When Chuck Norris was born… The doctor said Congratulations! You have two healthy parents.
  • When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
    He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
  • The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
  • When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
  • Did you know that Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin? That he built.
  • Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
  • Chuck Norris was born feet first.
    It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
  • July 4th is Independence day.
    And the day Chuck Norris was born.
    Coincidence? I think not.
  • Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
  • Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris joke

Silly Chuck Norris Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about chuck norris you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bruce willis jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make chuck norris prank.

They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris…

Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.

Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom

If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded

It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris

loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick?

Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him

So he tracked down nothing and killed it

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test

The machine confessed everything

Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi.


Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and arnold schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number

You answered the wrong phone

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield

Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice
Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.
Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without factoring the coefficient within the expansion.
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw an isosceles triangle with four perfectly identical vertices
Chuck Norris is so tough he can simplify an improper fraction without first dividing the denominator and using it to multiple the numerator.

Chuck Norris walked into a feminist convention

Walked out with a sandwich and his shirt ironed.

Why are there no bridge named after Chuck Norris?

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

What is your best Chuck Norris joke(I'll start)

Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris had cancer

The cancer died from Chuck Norris.

TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris killed 100 men with just one bullet

There was no gun

I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD

Chuck Norris Joke

A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones are"? And Chuck answered "Which stones"

Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air

The next day, he demanded a refund.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has f**... only once in his life.

It was during a vacation to the Sahara forest.

I don't understand why everyone says Chuck Norris is awesome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone at my front door.

Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman?

The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside

Chuck Norris jokes never die..

Like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.

The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19

Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table...

Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

There was a street in my town named after Chuck Norris but the council had to rename it.

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Chuck Norris caught COVID.

But then he felt bad, so he let it go.

Chuck Norris got stabbed

The knife bled to death

Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke

Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.

Chuck Norris hit the longest home run in mlb history

He also caught that ball

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....

...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them

Chuck Norris visited the v**... Islands.

Now they're just the Islands.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn

He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds

and the ice cream machine was working.

Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.
The cobra died

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.

The aliens were never seen again.

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug

No it's not dead it's just too scared to move

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.

We know them today as Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

Chuck Norris has died.

He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.

We really need to stop with all the Chuck Norris jokes!!!

Do you want him to find out you're laughing at him?

Why doesn't Chuck Norris tell jokes?

His punch lines are deadly.

I'm fed up with all these Chuck Norris jokes on this Sub!

If he's such a tough badass, I dare him to come over here and smash my face against my keybhrbhdbvdggdvrvvhdhdbsbhdhebb

I gave Chuck Norris a gun, he killed 54 people.

Then I gave him some ammunition.

Chuck Norris joke, I gave Chuck Norris a gun, he killed 54 people.

jokes about chuck norris

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these chuck norris jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.