Uproarious Chuck Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
Reggie, Joe, and Chuck
There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.
SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM
Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips
with the concept of sarcasm.
"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy
and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?"
and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather".
Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate.
Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3,
plans to use sarcasm himself in future.
"I'm, like, using it all the time" he said.
"Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said
"Hey, great weather."
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.
The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
Betty left with Freddy.
The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"
Flo left with Joe.
The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"
The farmer shot chuck.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room
The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while
Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.
A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...
"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.
"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.
"Great! have fun" says the mom
"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.
"Have a ball!" says the mother
"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter
"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother
A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States
Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.
Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity...
He got it back.
Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
You can explore chuck dan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chuck jeff dad jokes. There are also chuck puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test
The machine confessed everythingο»Ώ
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it
I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great
Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD
Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.
...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
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TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month
But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?
You're the man of the house now
Chuck Norris was shot today
The bullet is in critical condition
Four guys are hanging out.
One of them says, Hey, did you know 1 out of ever 4 guys is gay?
Larry says, I hope it's chuck because he's really cute.
Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.
One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.
Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty
And killed someone in Battlefield
Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars...
he played The Force
Chuck Norris coronavirus joke
Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died
...and then I heard it a few seconds later
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
When Chuck Norris updates Windows
...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?
**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**
What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat?
Chuck roast.
Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?
Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walked into a feminist convention
Walked out with a sandwich and his shirt ironed.
They were going to name a street after Chuck Norrisβ¦
Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
Chuck Norris actually died four years ago
Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard?
My personal favorite is: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no returnβ¦.
β¦..and returned.
What is your best Chuck Norris joke(I'll start)
Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men.
It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke?
Let's start with one of my favs:
"Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."
Chuck Norris had cancer
The cancer died from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good.
Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
(Cr
If Chuck Norris hadn't existed...
Chuck Norris would have invented him.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people.
Then it exploded.
Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword
Then 20 more without the sheath
Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom
If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded
What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open?
Brought it back for a refund.
When Chuck Norris was bornβ¦
The doctor said Congratulations! You have two healthy parents.
Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number
You answered the wrong phone
Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi.
Backwards.
Chuck Norris had a nightmare
The nightmare ran into its moms room crying
Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice
Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.
Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without factoring the coefficient within the expansion.
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw an isosceles triangle with four perfectly identical vertices
Chuck Norris is so tough he can simplify an improper fraction without first dividing the denominator and using it to multiple the numerator.
What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick?
Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoes to protect his feet from the ground...
β
He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin
And giraffes were born
Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris killed 100 men with just one bullet
There was no gun
Chuck Norris called 911
And asked if they needed help.
I'm fed up with all these Chuck Norris jokes on this Sub!
If he's such a tough badass, I dare him to come over here and smash my face against my keybhrbhdbvdggdvrvvhdhdbsbhdhebb
Dinosaurs once looked down on Chuck Norris.
Just once.
Chuck Norris chopped an onion
The onion cried.
Chuck Norris' security guardβ¦
β¦is grateful to have Chuck protecting him.
One day, Chuck Norris was hit by a car
He then rushed the car to the nearest garage and paid for it's repair.
Chuck Norris can trisect an angle...
...With only a straight edge and a compass
Chuck Norris killed 50 enemies with a hand grenade.
Then the grenade exploded.
