Chronic Jokes

Jokes about chronic illnesses don't have to be bleak or sad. Join us as we explore how humor can be a powerful tool to cope with severe, degenerative illnesses like chronic pain, chronic kidney disease, and more. We'll share tips, stories, and more to help brighten your day.

Laughter Chronic Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What is a chronic masturbator's favorite dish?

Meat stroganoff

Did you hear about the Mexican hit-man who was a chronic masturbator?

He got excited when he was ordered to rub Juan out.

What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline?

No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this.

What do you call a chronic masturbaiter in Turkey?

A jerkin Turkin

jokes about chronic

Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea?

It runs in his jeans.

What do you call someone who smokes w**... everyday?

A chronic user.

Why was the Mathematician frowned upon?

He was a chronic math-debater

Chronic joke, Why was the Mathematician frowned upon?

Did you hear about the chronic masturbator that was slightly under the weather?

He's not feeling himself today.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me

She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening

Just thought I'd let you know that I'm a chronic kleptomaniac...

but don't worry, I'm taking something for it.

My grandparents, parents, and even my siblings have chronic diarrhea...

runs in the family

You can explore chronic severe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chronic prescribe dad jokes. There are also chronic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I have chronic diarrhea. My dad also has chronic diarrhea, and his dad had it too...

It runs in our jeans.

What do you get from too many b**... hits?

A chronic injury.

i used to suffer from chronic adhd

as i was saying bacon makes everything better.

My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though

I'll figure out what procrastination means later

Heard about the man with chronic dandruff who was attacked by a shark?

They found his head and shoulders on the beach.

Chronic joke, Heard about the man with chronic dandruff who was attacked by a shark?

I told my doctor I was getting really stressed out about my chronic constipation.

He prescribed me a relaxative.

Now that w**... is legal in California, I don't need my Xanax prescription anymore.

I was always suffering from chronic anxiety I was about to be arrested for i**... possession.

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants…



Doctor: I think you suffer from seasonal depression.

Patient: I think it's chronic depression.

Doctor: why?

Patient; because I hate my life in the summer too.

In the famous words of Bob Ross: There's no such thing as mistakes, only happy little accidents...

Unless your little accident is diagnosed with chronic depression.

Why do the chronic masturbater's friends keep him around?

He always comes in handy.

A guy accidentally burns his finger while smoking a blunt

now he has chronic pain

Where did the chronic masturbator go for treatment?

The s**... center

If I smoke some strong w**... and beat my meat...

Am I a chronic masturbator?

What do you call a s**... who is also a chronic masturbator?

A w**... w**....

Chronic joke, What do you call a s**... who is also a chronic masturbator?

I spent 15 years suffering from chronic procrastination....

And I still can't decide if I prefer sativa or indica.

P.s I am getting really annoyed by that persistent promoted post!

A group of chronic masturbators have recently started an organization to protect women from domestic violence.

Their slogan is "We only beat ourselves."

After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.

The pin really is mightier than the sore.

Why did the sales representative quit their job?

Chronic depression

An old farmer goes to the doctor for chronic coughing

The doctor took a perfunctory look at the farmer and tsked. "Just one cigarette a day from now on!" he told the farmer.

Six months later the farmer comes back looking absolutely terrible. "I told you one cigarette a day," the doctor said. "Have you been taking my advice?"

The farmer replied, "At my age, do you realize how difficult it is to pick up smoking?"

People wonder how being being a chronic insomniac affects my job as a carpenter...

Quite frankly, I enjoy getting paid to bang all night

What does a recovering chronic masturbator and an anorexic have in common?

They're both allowed only one nut a day.

I just discovered that chronic diarrhea is hereditary.

Apparently it runs in your genes.

Do you suffer from chronic m**...?

Im a doctor, I can help. We'll beat it together.

So Gandhi wandered the desert barefoot and had hard, worn feet...

He was very thin from fasting often, his followers considered him prophetic, and because of his fasting and strange diet had chronic bad breath.

In short, you could say he was a

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

I think my cat has chronic pain....

He keeps saying me ow

The Chinese President dies of a chronic disease. How does his wife feel?

Xi's Jinping with joy.

What do a pilot and a chronic masturbator have in common?

When they wake up abruptly their first thought is to pull up.

Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?

It's a site for sore eyes.

I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Girlfriend has broken up with me over my chronic gambling addiction..

.. Desperate to win Her back.

The Bad News - I've been suffering from chronic Insomnia

The Good News - Only 2 more sleeps until Santa arrives.

Why should you always keep a chronic masturbater nearby?

He comes in handy.

For 2021, I'm absolutely done with being a chronic people pleaser..!! long as everyone is ok with that ?

I think my w**... dealer gave me corona

I've got a chronic cough.

My father, his father, his father's father and his father's father's father all had chronic diarrhoea

Runs in the family I guess

Do you suffer from chronic m**...?

As a therapist i can help. We can beat it together.

I was referred to a doctor with chronic back pain.

I hope he's still able to treat me.

Why did the chronic masturbator's computer c**...?

There was too much load on the CPU.

I have a chronic fear of giants.

It's a fee-fi-phobia

In an attempt to break his addiction...

In an attempt to break his addiction, a chronic masturbator decides to buy a whiteboard and start tallying the days since he last j**... off. After a successful day, the man grabs a marker and draws two tallies, but realizing it had only been one day, he takes his hand and rubs one out.

A police officer stopped me and searched my pockets. Found a bag of w**....

"What have we here?"
"It's not mine officer."
He scoffs.
"I'm serious! I was cursed by a leprechaun, you know what scallywags they are. Now, every single time I flush this chronic down the toilet it magically reappears in my pocket."
"Try me!"
He frowns, but follows me as we head to the bathroom in this cafe. I take out the cannabis and flush it down the c**.... He checks my pocket and asks,
"So where's the bag of w**...?"

"What bag of w**...?"

What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who's also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?

A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the chronic diagnose puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working chronic chronic pain piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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