Christmas Turkey Jokes
69 christmas turkey jokes and hilarious christmas turkey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christmas turkey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Christmas Turkey Short Jokes
Short christmas turkey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The christmas turkey humour may include short turkey christmas jokes also.
- When christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
- My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".
- My daughter really wants a dog this Christmas I am open for new ideas but we normally eat turkey.
- "Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother : "No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year."
- Why do turkeys love thanksgiving? Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents
- What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner? The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
- Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!" - A mom and her daugter (christmas) Daughter: "Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas, please?
Mom: "No honey, you will be getting turkey, like every Christmas! - Make sure you get your ham early for Christmas... Because thanks to Putin there will be no Turkey left.
- Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk The other one asks the other one - Do you believe in life after Christmas?
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Christmas Turkey One Liners
Which christmas turkey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with christmas turkey? I can suggest the ones about thanksgiving turkey and kids turkey.
- Kids said they wanted a cat for Christmas. Normally we have turkey, but ok...
- What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently.
- Anyone hear what Russia is eating for Christmas? Turkey...
Too soon? - Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU? Because there is no Turkey
- "Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?" "No, you can have turkey like everyone else"
- What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey
- Who wasn't hungry on Christmas? The Turkey, he was stuffed!
- What is Putin having for Christmas? Turkey.
- What did the turkey eat for Christmas? Nothing, it was already stuffed!
- Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey - he's always stuffed!
- My dad's addicted to christmas dinner But he's been cold turkey every meal since.
- I suggest we all go to Russia for Christmas.. They'll have fried Turkey
- I'd hate to be Turkey this Christmas.
- Dad, can I have a puppy for Christmas? No, you're having Turkey like the rest of us.
- Mom, can I have a cat for Christmas this year? No, you'll have turkey like the rest of us
Laughter Christmas Turkey Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about christmas turkey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean turkey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make christmas turkey pranks.
What's a turkey's favorite song? "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey, because he's always stuffed!
A young couple is having their first christmas together and they're cooking a turkey.
Just before they put the turkey in the oven the guy cuts an inch and a half off each end. His girlfriend asks "Why did you do that?" "That's how my mom does it." "Why does she do it?" "I don't know." So they phone his mom and she says "That's how *my* mom did it." So they phone the grandma and she says "I had a small oven."
A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.
A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain
My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke
Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.
A kid asks for a dog for Christmas.
His mom says "No, we're eating a turkey like always."
"This year I had a dog for Christmas"
"That's funny, we had a turkey like every other year"
My doctor advised me to avoid my usual calorific Christmas dinner; he even joked that I should get rid of my oven.
So Im going cold turkey.
Who doesn't eat on Christmas?
A turkey!! because it is always stuffed
For Christmas my wife wants a stuffed turkey for dinner
I bought her a plush turkey toy.
What never eats at Christmas time?
A turkey, it's usually stuffed!
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
A few years ago my grandparents decided to put 3 lemons in the Christmas Turkey
Afterwards they'd kill the turkey and cook it
Christmas Dinner
What never eats at Christmas dinner? The turkey! Its stuffed!!
I asked my mum for a dog this Christmas...
but she said I had to have turkey like everybody else.
My daughter wants a pony for Christmas
I think a traditional turkey would taste better but it's her choice.
My kids wanted a car for Christmas.
I was going to cook a turkey.
But hey, whatever makes them happy.
My kids want a cat for Christmas.
We usually have turkey, but hey what ever makes them happy .
My kids asked for a dog for Christmas.
We usually have turkey, but I'll try to make them happy.
My children want a cat for Christmas...
I normally cook a turkey, but hey, whatever makes 'em happy.
I said yes, but we usually have a turkey for Christmas.
The girls said they wanted a dog this year.
Farmer sez to the turkey...
Yes, we're having you for Christmas dinner.
No, you don't need to bring wine.
My kids wants to have a puppy for Christmas...
I usually prepare them Turkey... But the choice is theirs...
A Chinese kid asked his mom if he can have a dog for Christmas
His mom said no.
He gets turkey and stuffing like everyone else.
This year, every one of my kids agreed that they wanted a cat for Christmas
In retrospect, I should have just gone with the Turkey, like I do every year.
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"
"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
A historian went to a restaurant during Christmas
Once a historian went to a resturant during Christmas and ordered foods. While bringing the foods the spanish waiter lost balance and everything fell to floor.
So the historian said in his mind, " First the fall of Turkey, then breaking-up of China, over-throw of Greece, humiliation of Spain and finally loss of America !"
