Christmas Religious Jokes
9 christmas religious jokes and hilarious christmas religious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about christmas religious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Christmas Religious Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good christmas religious joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."
I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.
I'm religious about brushing my teeth.
I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.
My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.
So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.
This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously...
That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm stuck in Christmas mass right now and I need some n**... religious jokes about Christianity in order to make my dad crack. Have any?
Help me, I got dragged to this as vice and now we need jokes.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Daoist monk, a Father, and a Priest talking about how to cleanse their temples that have been overridden with squirrels.
the monk says "Well, I decided that it is Gods will for the squirrels to be there so I left them alone". The Father says "I spread fox u**... around which worked for a week, but the squirrels wised up so they came back". The Priest exclaimed "I got rid of them! I caught each one, then baptized them so they only come back on Christmas and Easter!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian.
She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.
Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.
There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand.
So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian."
The teacher asks, "So what are you then? "
The girl replies, "I'm an atheist."
The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the girl why she's an atheist.
The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. "
That's no reason." she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a m**..., and your Dad was a m**.... What would you be then?"
"Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it. He writes a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I'll be good for a whole week." He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, "I can't be good for a whole week, I'll be good for five days." He crosses that out and writes, "I'll be good for four days." Then he thinks again and says, "Can't do that." He gets down to one day and says, "I can't even be good for a day." Then in frustration, goes in his mother's room and get the statue of the v**... Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says, "Dear Jesus, if I don't get a bike for Christmas, you'll never see your mother again!"
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